video review : Total Recall

video review : Total Recall

Douglas Quaid’s wife is hot, especially when she’s fighting up a sweat. He loses her, along with the normal life he thought he had, after going to Rekall, a corporation that sells fake vacation memories via brain implants. He chooses the Mars trip with the option of being a “secret agent”.

Things go wrong immediately and that’s when the adventure begins. It’s also when the confusion begins as Quaid tries to determine what’s real and what isn’t. The plot sometimes lapses to trite; the hero is prone to corny one-liners; but Total Recall is ultimately a trip that’s both fun and memorable.

my rating : 4 of 5

1990

audio review : Stranger In Moscow ( song ) … Michael Jackson

“How does it feel?” Lonely and cold; gloomy and ominous. The most popular singer in the world has experienced a “swift and sudden fall from grace”, it’s raining; “sunny days seem far away”; and it seems he’s in imminent danger. He’s a Stranger In Moscow.

The song, flawed mainly by a gratuitous prelude; the storm is too quiet; and synth drums that sound somewhat out of place, doesn’t make much of an impact until the final third. That’s when Michael Jackson drops the subtleties and finally opens up vocally.

my rating : 4 of 5

1995

audio review : History ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

audio review : Free Woman ( song ) … Lady Gaga

This song, a feminist dance anthem, doesn’t start sounding good until the final chorus, which is played over a different refrain. “I’m a Free Woman,” Lady Gaga announces from a downtown sidewalk. The two go together well enough to make one wonder how much better the song would be if it kept going like that for another eight or sixteen bars.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Chromatica ( album ) ... Lady Gaga

audio review : On I Go ( song ) … Fiona Apple

I don’t know what Fiona Apple’s Going for here, but she needs to head back and try again. This song; I use that term loosely; is abominable. She repeats the same incoherent vocals over and over again, which might not be so bad if they weren’t off-beat.

“On I go, not toward or away,” she says to what sounds like people banging on pots and pans. It’s probably the worst song she’s ever made; certainly the worst she’s put on an album. It sounds like something that came out while she was on the toilet.

my rating : 1 of 5

2020

audio review : Fetch The Bolt Cutters ( album ) ... Fiona Apple

audio review : Sour Candy ( song ) … Lady Gaga ( featuring Blackpink )

Well, Lady Gaga does seem to have sticky fingers. Not only is the concept of this song similar to the opening theme to Madonna’s Hard Candy, it also sounds like Katy Perry’s Swish Swish, though that latter faux pas has more to do with producers BloodPop and Burns. They made the beat.

Blackpink; apparently every member is featured; come across as more of a novelty than artsy collaborators. Their parts, with all the “yeah”s, are kind of annoying. Gaga does better, especially at the bridge. “I’m hard on the outside,” she says, “but if you give me time, then I could make time for your love.”

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Chromatica ( album ) ... Lady Gaga

audio review : Enigma ( song ) … Lady Gaga

What’s puzzling is the concept of this song, which seems to be about romance. “We could be lovers, even just tonight,” Gaga roars, “We could be anything you want.”

It sounds sort of silly the way she says “I’ll” twice when telling this “mystery man” she’ll be his Enigma, but the house music she’s singing to is rather stimulating.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Chromatica ( album ) ... Lady Gaga

audio review : Out My Mind Just In Time ( song ) … Erykah Badu

This ten-minute-plus rhapsody plays like a collection of Badu song demos, but she should’ve limited it to the first one. Undercover Overlover, which takes up two minutes and a half, would be a short song by today’s standards, but it would be one of her best.

It’s a solemn heartbreak ballad; she’s singing about a longtime beau who “thinks he wants another”; led by a lonely piano eventually accompanied by what sounds like an even lonelier violin. This is deep and moody soap opera stuff. The other bits are comparatively anticlimactic.

my rating : 3 of 5

2010

audio review : New Amerykah : Part Two [ Return Of The Ankh ] ... Erykah Badu

audio review : Chosen One ( song ) … Future ( featuring Rocko )

This song peaks early with Future’s verse; the style (flow/delivery) of which is as immaculate as the Phantom he’s driving “like a four-wheeler”. Not that new car care matters much when you’re rich enough to have “ten” of them.

The other best part is the Southside beat, specifically its synth orchestration, which gives the song a sheen of ghetto elegance. Its only flaws, in fact, are that Rocko isn’t rapping like Future and “The” is missing from the title.

my rating : 4 of 5

2013

audio review : The Lady In My Life ( song ) … Michael Jackson

The Lady In most people’s lives, at least at the beginning, is their mother, but Michael Jackson isn’t singing about Katherine. This is a song about a girlfriend. “Lay your body close to mine,” he croons with strong sexual undertones, “I can make you feel alright.”

It’s mostly about “love” though; the romantic kind that can make a gentleman resort to bombastic schoolyard poetry in order to express his true feelings. He and she become not just a couple but “two hearts in a beat of ecstasy”, whatever that’s supposed to mean.

Sweet nothings can be awwfully charming though, especially when they’re winter-blanketed in funky grooves and gorgeous melodies like these. Most popular songs are “love” songs and Michael Jackson’s are no exception, but this one may very well be his best.

my rating : 5 of 5

1982

audio review : Thriller ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

audio review : Chromatica ( album ) … Lady Gaga

audio review : Chromatica ( album ) ... Lady Gaga

This is how that Joanne album should’ve sounded. Instead of more Artpop, Lady Gaga, after performing corny jazz covers with Tony Bennett, ventured off into country music. I guess you can call Chromatica a return to form. RedOne, DJ White Shadow and Garibay are still missing though, so it’s up to BloodPop and other one-word-name producers to get the party started.

It’s all dance songs; the house-drum kind played in clubs frequented by young socialites; and that’s the best thing about it. It isn’t as quirky or innovative as Artpop; the best song on that one is the R Kelly duet, which feminist Gaga later condemned because the crystal ball between her legs told her men accused of sex crimes are guilty until proven innocent; but it’s better than Million Reasons.

Of course that isn’t saying a whole lot. Lady Gaga seems to be more of a creative talent than mother Madonna; I wonder if the Chromatica album title was inspired by Erotica; but her vocal melodies rarely match the allure of the music. The beats, while perhaps too reserved at times, sound cool, in other words, but you might find yourself “not having Fun” during some of these tired choruses.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Led Zeppelin ( album ) … Led Zeppelin

audio review : Led Zeppelin ( album ) ... Led Zeppelin

Robert Plant sings these songs with intensity, which, considering every one is about romance gone bitter, may serve as psychotherapy. “Lots of people talk and few of them know,” he declares to a callous melody on Dazed And Confused, “the soul of a woman was created below.”

The implication is Hell. Perhaps that’s why there’s an image of The Hindenburg in flames on the album cover. Women often go from sweethearts to bitches if you stay with them long enough. This set; its biggest flaw being its lack of a proper title; is a theme to that fact.

my rating : 3 of 5

1969

video review : Jon Jones versus Alexander Gustafsson at UFC 165

video review : Jon Jones versus Alexander Gustafsson at UFC 165

“We recently saw Anderson Silva defeated by Chris Weidman,” Mike Goldberg reminds us after Joe Rogan suggests Alexander Gustafsson could win this fight if he catches Jon Jones “flat-footed”. Jones is more cautious than Silva though; he doesn’t play games in The Octagon; and he “can take a shot”.

He takes more here than any of his previous bouts. He’s even taken down for the first time. It seems Gustafsson is easily his toughest opponent yet. By the end, the Champion does manage to do enough to win via unanimous decision, but it’s a close fight. “One of the best of all time”? Perhaps.

my rating : 4 of 5

2013