audio review : Untitled ( album ) … R Kelly

audio review : Untitled ( album ) ... R Kelly

This album isn’t really untitled. The title is Untitled, but don’t waste your time trying to interpret some special meaning behind it. It’s apparently just a lazy artistic decision on the part of R Kelly, which doesn’t surprise me. Most of his albums have silly titles, so it’s business as usual for the crooner and in more ways than one.

Every song has to do with sex in some way or another. Even the Religious one has him singing to a girl he’s romantically, and no doubt sexually, involved with but not married to. Perhaps he forgot that his prolific song catalogue already includes a Religious Love dedication; one that happens to sound better than this one.

I’m not a “hater” though. I like R Kelly because R Kelly makes good music. After his previous two albums, I should say he’s starting to make better music again. His lack of conceptual diversity is actually part of his allure. The more shameless the lyrics are, like telling a girl to open her legs so that he can Kiss her on the lips, the better.

The best songs are the ones with the best vocal melodies. There’s an enchanting chorus happening Elsewhere. There’s also a cool song about Text messages tequila drinkers can relate to. Go Low, on which he sings about wanting to lick a girl’s pussy and sip on the “sweet sweet water” that will presumably ooze out of it, grooves like classic R.

All references to the Fourth Quarter of 12 Play should’ve been removed when he decided to ditch that concept, Supaman High isn’t a saver until the very end; the best part of the album is the way the beat takes the song out; and there should be a closer after the Pregnant ballad, but the girls don’t seem to mind such artistic blunders.

my rating : 3 of 5

2009

audio review : Outer World ( song ) … Bass 305

The best part of this song is the breakdown near the middle when the drums stop to make way for what sounds like the harps of Heaven. “It creates an atmosphere,” a man says and what a peaceful atmosphere it is. It “might be dangerous”, but the music gives a sense, even if a false sense, of security.

The secret explorer concept seems to revolve around Outer space; a frequent hangout spot for Bass 305 when they’re not rattling car trunks here on Earth; but the aforementioned harp loop should’ve been expanded well beyond a mere eight bars. As is, the song ends up being rather anticlimactic.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

audio review : Bass Resurrection ( album ) ... Bass 305

audio review : 333 ( album ) … Tinashe

audio review : 333 ( album ) ... Tinashe

If the title is a reference to my rating system, Tinashe’s got it right. Almost every song here is a 3. This might be her most musically cohesive album since Nightride; her best; but the quality of that one leaves this one in the dust.

Not that 333 won’t have the girls Bouncin to its bassy summer beats. X, featuring Jeremih, is fun, but the album’s best song is Last Call; a breakup ballad on which the tipsy songstress manages to stumble upon some lovely melodies.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

video review : Killing Season

video review : Killing Season

The best thing about Killing Season is the two legends that star in it. Robert De Niro and John Travolta, who play Bosnian War veterans, are alone (together) in the woods for most of it with nothing, besides a somewhat endearing scene involving an elk, to distract from their beaming star power. It’s a shame their rivalry couldn’t play out in a more fitting movie.

Though it gets better than the cliché battle flick the flashback prelude suggests it’s going to be, the plot is too contrived for its own good. There are solemn undertones dealing with death and life; the final scene hammers that latter message home; but the story, with all its unlikely happenstances, plays out more like a cartoon than something to be taken seriously.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

video review : Paige VanZant versus Rachael Ostovich at BKFC 19

video review : Paige VanZant versus Rachael Ostovich at BKFC 19

Paige VanZant is the winner in looks; Rachael Ostovich looks like a tranny with all that fakeup on; but looks don’t win bare-knuckle boxing matches. VanZant is simply outstruck here; she gets jawed audibly hard in the fourth round; despite giving her opponent an extra coating of red lipstick by fight’s end.

The most notable part happens after the fight. VanZant’s smile flips to sulk as Ostovich is announced; Jeff Houston is a lot less annoying here than during the introductions; the winner. She (VanZant) walks off and out, leaving her team behind, perhaps to cry as her boxing career takes another hit.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

audio review : Jam And Lewis [ Volume One ] ( album ) … Jimmy Jam And Terry Lewis

audio review : Jam And Lewis [ Volume One ] ( album ) ... Jimmy Jam And Terry

The title suggests a compilation of songs from the past, but this is a new album; the duo’s first ever after four decades of making music for other people’s. Some of those singers are featured here. Every song is by a different artist or group, in fact, with one flagrant exception.

That Janet Jackson isn’t included, and starting the whole damn set, is about as disheartening as recent rumors Jam And Lewis aren’t involved in her upcoming Black Diamond project. Unbreakable was underwhelming, yes, but they should never stop making music together.

Maybe if they had a new Janet song, they wouldn’t need to restore a 2005 Toni Braxton album reject, the inclusion of which makes me wonder how much of this set is actually new. Babylove; the best song and one true jam; sure is. It’s Time for another Morris Day solo album.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

video review : Julio César Chávez Junior versus Anderson Silva at Tribute To The Kings

video review : Julio César Chávez Junior versus Anderson Silva at Tribute To The Kings

It was sad to see Anderson Silva end his once-impeccable UFC run with a knockout loss, but this is a good consolation. It can even be argued that his victory here is more impressive as Silva, in just the third pro boxing bout of his career, dominates a former WBC champion with over fifty wins under his belt.

It’s not a blowout; Chávez wins a couple of rounds and never looks to be in serious danger; but it’s a relatively easy win for Silva, despite one corrupt (Mexican) judge voting against him. Highlights include The Spider’s signature taunting in Round 3 and Canelo Álvarez congratulating him after the bout.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

video review : Israel Adesanya versus Marvin Vettori at UFC 263

video review : Israel Adesanya versus Marvin Vettori at UFC 263

Marvin Vettori insists he won the first bout, but, unless he’s as delusional as Israel Adesanya suggests in his victory speech, there’s no denying this one. Despite a few takedowns, one of which includes a near rear-naked choke Adesanya is slick enough to spin out of, Vettori does considerably worse this time around.

A lot of fans were speculating and debating about who improved more since their Fight Night pairing in 2018. The answer is clear, though Adesanya seems to move like he’s still carrying his weight from the Jan Błachowicz fight. Perhaps his Zen-like demeanor is just brought on by those new nose-breathing techniques.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

Adrenaline Shoc [ Smart Energy ] : Cotton Candy

Adrenaline Shoc [ Smart Energy ] : Cotton Candy

The flavor does remind you of Cotton Candy, at least when you first taste it. The aftertaste of this Smart Energy drink from Adrenaline Shoc is more similar to Smarties or Pez.

There’s “zero sugar” though and, aside from its suspect substitutes, the ingredients list, which include green coffee beans and ginseng root extract, looks surprisingly healthy.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Eyes Wide Open ( song ) … The B-52s

This song, an ambiguous “love” song, sounds delightful during the chorus sections. “I don’t wanna clash,” a woman sings to her mate, “I don’t want to rehash the past.” That’s an interesting statement considering the funky 1970s-style disco beat.

If the whole song sounded like those two hooks; the second of which should’ve been extended to 16 bars with ad-libs; it would easily rank among the band’s best, but the rest, which sounds more like a long stripped-down bridge, is relatively boring.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

audio review : Funplex ( album ) ... The B-52s

Bang : Frosé Rosé

Bang : Frosé Rosé

With a whopping 300 milligrams of caffeine per serving, this “potent brain and body fuel” is, according to the can, “not your stereotypical high sugar, life-sucking soda masquerading as an energy drink!” There’s actually no sugar at all, a major health benefit, though the inclusion of sucralose as a substitute isn’t much better.

The taste is hard to describe. I’ve never had Rosé (wine) but there are hints of grape, along with strawberry and maybe some Pez. It’s certainly sweet, thanks to the aforementioned sucralose, at least when you first start drinking. The sweetness seems to fade after a while. Drink it partially frozen to get the full conceptual impact.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Revolution ( album ) … Paula Cole

audio review : Revolution ( album ) ... Paula Cole

Perhaps Paula Cole’s always been an SJW; go listen to her Harbinger debut; but she’s never manifested her advocacy to this degree. The war cry begins right out the gate with a call to action in the form of a bombastic speech by what sounds like an old black man. “We are deeply in need of a new way beyond the darkness,” he says before revealing the Revolution as a way to bring about a world utopia of “love”.

For Cole, it seems to have more to do with contemporary feminism; Shake The Sky calls for the uprising of women while Silent serves as an anthem for the so-called Me Too Movement; though she also takes on racism and other political issues. Still the album isn’t as musically radical as the aforementioned Intro might lead you to believe. Most of it sounds like Paula Cole, whatever that’s worth these days.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019