audio review : Courage ( album ) … Paula Cole

audio review : Courage ( album ) ... Paula Cole

Courage? I don’t know. Paula Cole decided to play it safe on this album. What we get, after nearly eight years, is a woman who’s mature and sophisticated, relatively stable even, in contrast to the church girl who got lost in religious babble (Amen) or the Lilith who threatened to bite off the head of her housemate’s penis with This Fire.

That latter set, easily her best, is what made the world fall in Love with her in the first place and we do get a small puff of that fiery edge here. She goes into her signature bawl at the end of the first single, another breakup ballad, entitled 14. “This mighty woman’s ready to explode,” she warns, though the “volcano” never actually erupts.

Still this prettier version of Cole who prefers sweeping jazz arrangements and lite reggae over bitchy rock anthems remains a talent. Even given these romantic themes, her voice is smoother than ever and she still has a knack for the kind of ballsy vocal melodies you don’t hear much in the brave new world of pop music.

my rating : 3 of 5

2007

Old Orchard Healthy Balance : Strawberry Watermelon

Old Orchard Healthy Balance : Strawberry Watermelon

This juice tastes like garbage. That’s not to say it’s nasty; it isn’t; just that its flavor is comparable to the sweet smell of trash. It also smells like trash; it’s probably the smell that causes it to taste that way; but without the repugnant stench that often comes with it.

Aside from that, the drink, from the Old Orchard Healthy Balance line, isn’t bad. It’s mostly water and apple juice, so the name is misleading, but there is some Strawberry and Watermelon juice added. No sugar though; just sucralose, which may be as bad for your Health.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : High Off Life ( album ) … Future

audio review : High Off Life ( album ) ... Future

Future is a rich man with a lavish collection of jewelry and several luxury cars; his money and fame attract so many “bad bitches”, it’s Hard To Choose One; so it’s no wonder he’s High Off Life. He’s also high on “green”. This, his eight album, serves as a soundtrack to his biography; at least the parts he wants us to know about.

Not that his heavily Auto-Tuned vocals are the highlight here. The best parts are the gritty Trap beats; those of us who can’t switch the “yellow Lambo” with the “green Ferrari” have to be careful not to blow our woofers with all this bass; though the set would be a lot less interesting without his singsong raps to set the scenes.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

Phineas Gage [ A Gruesome But True Story About Brain Science ] ( book ) … John Fleischman

Phineas Gage [ A Gruesome But True Story About Brain Science ] ( book ) ... John Fleischman

This book; a True Story only in the sense most historical biographies are, meaning it’s based on what someone says other people said happened; is compelling at the start. That’s partly because it begins with the Gruesome; Phineas Gage is “world famous” for being cranially impaled by a tamping iron; instead of eventually leading into it.

Once the tale of his Horrible Accident is told, John Fleischman is left stretching the rest of Gage’s otherwise unexceptional life out with what comes across as an extended epilogue. He does so by digressing into detailed medical synopses and Science lessons regarding the Brain, comparing what we “know” now to what they knew back in the 1800s.

my rating : 3 of 5

2002

video review : Cassidy versus Hitman Holla at Max Out

video review : Cassidy versus Hitman Holla at Max Out

It’s a nice surprise what Hitman Holla does at the end of his third and final verse, but Cassidy wins this battle handily. Neither rapper has the skills to justify their inflated egos, but Cass is consistently better.

The “half to death” bit from his second verse would be a classic if he had the gumption to delivery it right. No such quotables from Hitman Holla, the rambunctious little brother of whom needs to be put in time-out.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

audio review : Basket Case [ Original Motion Picture Soundtrack ]

audio review : Basket Case [ Original Motion Picture Soundtrack ]

The only music that matters here is that of the End Credits and all of its interpolative preludes. That is the Basket Case theme song and it’s epic; much better than the movie itself actually; which makes this official Soundtrack, composed by Gus Russo and released about 35 years late, the opposite of anticlimactic.

my rating : 3 of 5

2017

audio review : This Is An EP Release ( EP ) … Digital Underground

audio review : This Is An EP Release ( EP ) ... Digital Underground

The first song; Same Song; is a good song. They, rather Underground frontman Shock G, should’ve saved it for the next album. It seems a little out of place here as one of only three new cuts; the other two are merely decent; on an oddball EP that should’ve never been Released.

Parts of it are from the soundtrack to the movie Nothing But Trouble. Others serve as a Remix companion to Sex Packets. There’s a tamer version of The Way We Swing and a dub version of Rhymin On The Funk in which Shock G and alter ego Humpty Hump Argue about said music.

The best song though, not just of the Remixes but the whole set, is a new and improved version of Packet Man. The original basic beat is replaced with the kind of horny piano ensemble Vanessa; uh-uh, not the X-rated video queen; might sing to and it sounds quite gratifying.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

video review : Contact

video review : Contact

Like observing deep space via satellite, waiting for some sign of intelligent life, this movie is boring for a long time. About a third of its two-and-a-half hours goes by before the catch of the plot finally beams in and things start to get interesting.

Based on a Carl Sagan sci-fi novel, Contact propels itself with a wonderous concept, brilliant visual effects and mind-bending philosophical undertones, but the story, bogged down by extraneous love themes, doesn’t reach good fast enough.

my rating : 3 of 5

1997

audio review : 2000 ( album ) … Grand Puba

audio review : 2000 ( album ) ... Grand Puba

I don’t know why Grand Puba’s so obsessed with the year 2000; that concept would’ve made a lot more sense if this were released that year or just prior; but he seems to be stuck in the future. The beats; raw boom-bap produced by the likes of Mark Spark and Minnesota; are anything but. They’re also the one good thing about the album.

Puba’s often trying to amuse; cracking jokes and interpolating old soul songs into his raps; but his sense of humor is usually more corny than funny and his skills aren’t Special enough to make up for it. Still the set is a decent listen if only for the aforementioned beats, the best of which include I Like It, Don’t Waste My Time and Change Gonna Come.

my rating : 3 of 5

1995

audio review : Funplex ( album ) … The B-52s

audio review : Funplex ( album ) ... The B-52s

They got the title right. This album, which marks the return of The B-52s, including Cindy Wilson, after a long hiatus, is all about Fun. That comes mostly in the form of Dancing and Partying, though wacky wordplay at times make for sexually suggestive undertones. “There’s a G-spot,” Fred Schneider announces, “Pull the car over!”

That car might as well be a Mercury Lynx as the band, with the help of New producer Steve Osbourne, rocks out in 1980s retro fashion. The best parts are some of the catchy, at times refreshingly unconventional, hooks they stumble across along the way. The ones on Eyes Wide Open and Juliet Of The Spirits are particularly pleasing.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

video review : Jan Błachowicz versus Israel Adesanya at UFC 259

video review : Jan Błachowicz versus Israel Adesanya at UFC 259

Even if this were a three-round fight, I’d give Jan Błachowicz a close decision victory. Israel Adesanya seems a little off (slow/hesitant) here, probably because he’s fighting in a higher weight division than normal. The final two rounds, in which Błachowicz takes him down and holds him there till the ends, just reinforces it.

I thought Adesanya would win this, but I also thought it was a bad idea to risk his undefeated streak for the Polish powerhouse. Doing it and potentially becoming double champ for Jon Jones would’ve made a lot more sense. Now that epic showdown, one of the most anticipated in UFC history, seems a lot less competitive.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

audio review : Hold It Down ( album ) … Das Efx

audio review : Hold It Down ( album ) ... Das Efx

One of the best songs here is Microphone Master on which Das Efx brag about their “super rhyme” skills, but they’re bombastic claims. Despite the album title, in the two years since committing Straight Up Sewaside, they basically let It go.

They still go Diggedy, but Seriously lacking is the showcase of wordplay they introduced themselves to the world with. There are clever bars here and there, but it’s been a steady album-to-album degression. This is the one with the best beats though.

my rating : 3 of 5

1995