Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

video review : The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

video review : The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

You don’t have to collect the trading cards to be entertained by this Movie. You need only strengthen your stomach and open your mind wide enough to dump yourself into its campy charm. It’s about a group of Kids “blessed with unusual features”.

There’s a girl who Vomits, a girl with a snotty nose, a boy who farts, a Nerd with acne who can’t hold his bladder, a 1950s-style tough guy, a Mommyless baby with bad breath and an Ali Gator with a toe fetish. Flaws and all, they’re a likeable bunch.

They’re conjured from a Garbage Pail to the “normie” world at an old antique shop ran by a philosophical magician after the boy who works there tips it over by mistake during a scuffle with the local bullies, one of which he has a romantic crush on.

The baby with the bad breath provides the funniest parts; namely the Binaca spray and movie theater slap scenes. Another standout is the Working song the Kids sing about a third in. I wish there were more. The Movie would work better as a musical.

my rating : 3 of 5

1987

audio review : Little Big Man ( album ) … Bushwick Bill

audio review : Little Big Man ( album ) ... Bushwick Bill

I’ll keep this short. Bushwick Bill is the second Geto Boy to drop a solo album. He’s also the Crazyest. This project ends with J Prince helping the Skitso escape from what sounds like the psych ward of a maximum security prison. There’s a sequel to his Chuckie theme and a KKK rant, but the best song is Ever So Clear; a poignant memoir about what happened to his eye.

my rating : 3 of 5

1992

video review : Paige VanZant versus Michelle Waterson at UFC Fight Night

video review : Paige VanZant versus Michelle Waterson at UFC Fight Night

This is a fantasy match of sorts; two of The UFC’s sexiest women going at it. Michelle Waterson begins with a death stare as Page VanZant bounces about happily. That smile is soon wiped away when Waterson throws her to the floor and locks her in a rear naked; yeah, I wish; choke. That’s when the party lights go out.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

video review : Johnny Walker versus Nikita Krylov at UFC Fight Night

video review : Johnny Walker versus Nikita Krylov at UFC Fight Night

Nikita Krylov has an effective gameplan here. Johnny Walker has explosive knockout power, so Krylov smothers him with clinches and wrestles him down whenever possible. The problem with Walker seems to be his cardio as he starts to tire out in the first round. Easy decision victory for Krylov.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

video review : Israel Adesanya versus Yoel Romero at UFC 248

video review : Israel Adesanya versus Yoel Romero at UFC 248

You can hardly blame Israel Adesanya for being tentative early, especially after taking a big shot to the face. He takes another in round 2. Yoel Romero is a beast, but his explosiveness comes in spurts, so the gaps are filled with tension. He begins this fight standing nearly still and it’s scary.

Intimidation only goes so far though and he doesn’t offer much beyond it. Adesanya, while cautious, is more offensive, especially with his leg kicks. Romero blames Adesanya’s “running” for his own inactivity during his interview with Joe Rogan, but he’s full of shit. No, I won’t say that to his face.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Ignatius ( album ) … Jadakiss

audio review : Ignatius ( album ) ... Jadakiss

Jadakiss dedicates this album to his friend Icepick Jay who died of cancer not too long ago. Ignatius was his first name. It’s an odd choice in that, as the first new Jadakiss solo release in nearly five years, we get a project based on such a specific, albeit endearing, concept.

The music itself is mostly standard Jada for better or worse. The worse includes a song entitled Me in which the rapper is constantly stilted by a Peabo Bryson song sample. The best is Government Cheese; a Christian poverty anthem featuring Dej Loaf, Nino Man and Millyz.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : The Lion King [ The Gift ] ( album ) … Beyoncé

audio review : The Lion King [ The Gift ] ( album ) ... Beyoncé

Listening from the start, you might think this album; a needless soundtrack from a needless remake of The Lion King; is going to be Beyoncé’s best in a long time. Indeed she should’ve saved the first couple of songs; Bigger and Find Your Way Back; for her next (proper) release.

Here they’re nearly lost in a mix that includes a slew of Interludes; there’s one before almost every song; and vocals from African artists most Beyoncé fans probably never heard of. Not that the beats, indigenous soundscapes served with modern drum thumps, aren’t groovy.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : Ion Cuțelaba versus Magomed Ankalaev at UFC Fight Night

video review : Ion Cuțelaba versus Magomed Ankalaev at UFC Fight Night

Ion Cuțelaba crosses the line by interrupting Bruce Buffer’s introduction to approach Magomed Ankalaev; it would’ve been funny if Ankalaev knocked him out right then; but his loss here is the result of a premature, albeit arguably justified, stoppage.

“Kevin MacDonald’s got his work cut out for him,” Brendan Fitzgerald observes, but though Ankalaev’s strikes appear to excessively wobble Cuțelaba, he steps in a bit too soon. It’s a decision made to look worse than it is when Cuțelaba immediately protests.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Make Time For Love ( album ) … Keith Washington

audio review : Make Time For Love ( album ) ... Keith Washington

Keith Washington is a handsome man who sounds like Luther Vandross when he sings. Is there any wonder why his entire debut album is dedicated to romancing women? Every single song is about Love; he’s made nearly an hour For it; which is often a euphemism for sex.

“Lie close to me; hold on; let’s make our love last all night long,” he croons while Kissing You; he always addresses her directly; “Baby, I’m yours; take all of me.” That and Are You Still In Love With Me are the best cuts. The others serve as basic background bedroom music.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

video review : Robert Whittaker versus Israel Adesanya at UFC 243

video review : Robert Whittaker versus Israel Adesanya at UFC 243

Israel Adesanya’s antics may be annoying; he comes to The Octagon as if he’s about to compete in a dance-off; but his MMA skills can’t be denied. While not a blow-out; Robert Whittaker is also an elite fighter; he does in two rounds what Yoel Romero couldn’t in ten.

Not only is Robert Whittaker defeated, he’s knocked senseless with a hook to the face, making Israel Adesanya the new Middleweight Champion. Next up is Paulo Costa, the “heavy-ass Ricky Martin wannabe”, who’s standing in the crowd with a Vida Loca shirt on.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : Ronda Rousey versus Cat Zingano at UFC 184

video review : Ronda Rousey versus Cat Zingano at UFC 184

Cat Zingano begins this fight with a flying knee. At least that was the plan. Ronda Rousey dodges, wraps her arm around her head, takes her down, does a ninja flip which also flips Zingano and somehow transitions her into an armbar.

Zingano taps quickly and, in the words of Mike Goldberg, “It is all over!” That’s “it” meaning the fight. The most poignant part comes after when Joe Rogan interviews a terribly frustrated Zingano about losing her title shot in just a matter of seconds.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015