Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

video review : Maycee Barber versus Hannah Cifers at UFC Fight Night

video review : Maycee Barber versus Hannah Cifers at UFC Fight Night

Turn your head during the break unless you want to see Hannah Cifers disgustingly spitting saliva and blood onto a Bodyarmor towel. That also serves as a metaphor for the beating she takes, which, to her credit, doesn’t really happen until Round 2.

When it comes to size and strength, Cifers is outmatched as Maycee Barber, who also has an advantage in speed and footwork, hops about sexily landing head kicks and elbows. Once she gets Cifers down and in deep water, the shark attack begins.

my rating : 3 of 5

2018

audio review : Platinum OG ( album ) … Spice 1

audio review : Platinum OG ( album ) ... Spice 1

He may have been “blowing” Since 85, but Spice 1 reached his sales peak in 93. 187 He Wrote was his second of three albums in a row to go (RIAA) Gold, so yes he is a Platinum artist. Him being one of the most popular Gangsta rappers of the 1990s is why he’s now considered an OG.

What should be reassuring to longtime fans is that, from the sound of it, this album could’ve easily come out that decade. Everything from the Pac-ready beats to the guest features, including a gang of fellow OGs like Too Short and MC Eiht, suggest a sense of Thuggish nostaglia.

Nothing here nears the level of the best from that era though. That’s most obvious when the album interpolates from said era. Dr Dre, Eazy E, even singer D’Angelo gets jacked to no avail. The freshest song is the one with the oldest verse; Playas Do featuring the late Pimp C.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : Jesus Is Born ( album ) … Sunday Service

audio review : Jesus Is Born ( album ) ... Sunday Service

Perhaps this should’ve come before Kanye West’s last album. All miracles aside, Jesus had to be Born before becoming King. I guess this is the prequel, although the title cleverly coinciding with a Christmas release date shouts gimmick.

The music is the kind of choir-led gospel you’ll hear in most urban churches; the ones with mostly black people in them; marvelous harmonies that rarely stumble upon matching melodies, even though they’re singing cover songs.

The best include Sunshine, Lord Works; well, the first third of it; Souls Anchored and Paradise. Those latter two are based on secular songs about sex and drugs. Sounds like somebody in the Sunday congregation needs another chat with Jesus.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

Double Stuf Oreo cookies

Double Stuf Oreo cookies

I don’t know why Stuf has one “f”, but these are marketed as an enhanced version of the original Oreo cookies in that they’re made with Double the creme.

I guess that makes them better; the white stuff is the best part; unless you put them in ice cream, the flavor/texture of which may clash with the extra creme.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : Of Mice And Men

video review : Of Mice And Men

George is more of a friend than me. I would’ve abandoned Lennie a long time ago. Not only is he annoying, though his kidlike personality does come with an underlining of pitiful innocence, it seems he always manages to get in trouble.

The story begins with the two workmen running from “a bunch of guys with dogs” and guns after Lennie inadvertently assaults a girl in a red dress. What he did is told but not shown, unlike what he does later to the wife of a rancher’s son.

That scene is a major plot twist and one of its two most poignant moments. The other comes at the end. The movie goes on about two minutes too long from there; the final flashback is excessive; but it’s an interesting tale nonetheless.

my rating : 3 of 5

1992

video review : Teen Wolf

video review : Teen Wolf

Werewolves must not be too rare in Beacon Town. When an average high schooler named Scott transforms into one for the first time, seeing himself in the bathroom mirror covered in hair, he seems to know what’s going on. When his peers find out, they aren’t as surprised as you’d expect.

The movie is best during the first half. Once Scott’s secret is out and everybody’s used to seeing him parade around as the Wolf, which vastly improves his basketball skills and makes him the most popular teen in town; at one point, he finally scores with a girl crush; things start to get a little silly.

my rating : 3 of 5

1985

video review : Frankie Edgar versus Chan Sung Jung at UFC Fight Night

video review : Frankie Edgar versus Chan Sung Jung at UFC Fight Night

I figured Chan Sung Jung would win this, but damn. I thought Frankie Edgar would last longer. To his credit, he did take this fight on short notice. Still Jung almost knocks him out under a minute in. Edgar is tough though, just not tough enough to survive the onslaught of The Korean Zombie in Korea.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : The Vault ( album ) … Too Short

audio review : The Vault ( album ) ... Too Short

The title and cover picture suggest unreleased demos from the past, but most of these songs sound relatively new. That’s partly because Too Short’s an old dog who’s never really been interested in learning new tricks unless those tricks are putting money in his pockets.

It’s pimping from the start; a topic I hope he never stops rapping about, no matter how frowned upon it may be to the sensitive squares of 2019. When he’s not pimping, he’s fucking a “bitch” or getting his dick sucked… or rapping about the history of racism in America.

Information should’ve been left in storage though, along with Whatcha Got; two obvious demos with low-volume vocals. Bancroft, the only song with no hook; the hooks are the worst parts of the album; sounds good. Most of the rest are decent enough for Vault grabs.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : House Money ( EP ) … Max B

audio review : House Money ( EP ) ... Max B

I don’t know how Max B is recording what sounds like studio-quality vocals in prison, but you’d swear he made this EP in early 2009. That is to say the rapper hasn’t missed a beat.

The best songs are the ones he’s singing on, of course, as he should be doing on every one. When he just raps the hooks, as on Ride On Em and Super Bad, it just doesn’t sound as “wavy”.

Almost every song features a guest rapper. French Montana, Jadakiss and others drop by the Blackjack table, though the illusion is thrown off when one mentions him being in prison.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : Street Light [ First Edition ] ( album ) … KRS-One

audio review : Street Light [ First Edition ] ( album ) ... KRS-One

This seems more like a mixtape-like side project than a proper album. As far as I know, it could be. The First Edition subtitle certainly suggests so. If it isn’t, it’s the third KRS-One album in a row with the same song on it. Invader is included on Now Hear This from 2015 and The World Is Mind from 2017. The decision to include it here, albiet a 2019 version, is baffling.

It’s still one of the best songs though, thanks in part to a groovy Mad Lion beat, though I would’ve given it a Mexican vibe to fit the concept. Forever Hip Hop gets it right. The other best songs are the ones KRS-One’s wife G Simone sings the chorus on; Ride, Miracle and God. Perhaps he should’ve let her sing every hook. Most of the others are defective.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : Michael Page versus Richard Kiely at Bellator 227

video review : Michael Page versus Richard Kiely at Bellator 227

Dan Miragliotta acts like a sensitive bitch here. He docks a point from Michael Page for taunting Richard Kiely; fighters are supposed to show “respect” while trying to knock each other unconscious; but that’s just Page’s style. It’s part of what makes his fights entertaining. Not that the point matters in the end. The bout doesn’t go pass the first round.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019