Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

Mountain Dew : Sweet Lightning

Mountain Dew : Sweet Lightning

I understand the Sweet part. It’s the Lightning that’s confusing. This isn’t promoted as an energy drink and the taste, which has a peachy citrus vibe, isn’t particularly jolting, but I imagine a cold cup would be nice and refreshing on a lazy summer day.

You’re not supposed to drink it by itself. Sweet Lightning, a version of Mountain Dew, is apparently made for the sole purpose of drinking it while you eat a Breast, Drumstick or Thigh from Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is the only place to get it.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : I Don’t Want [ The Gold Fire Sessions ] ( mixtape ) … Santigold

audio review : I Don't Want [ The Gold Fire Sessions ] ( mixtape ) ... Santigold

Any of the other songs would’ve made a better album title. Crashing Your Party would be particularly fitting since this set, presented as a mixtape, is mixed more like a party playlist.

Dre Skull is not only the DJ but the main producer as he provides an assortment of dancehall beats; this is hot summertime music; for Santigold to sing mostly about boys to.

my rating : 3 of 5

2018

video review : Jéssica Andrade versus Weili Zhang at UFC Fight Night

video review : Jéssica Andrade versus Weili Zhang at UFC Fight Night

Well, that didn’t last long; this fight nor Jéssica Andrade’s title reign. Rose Namajunas, the other former Women’s Strawweight champion, exposed the flaws in Andrade’s striking during their UFC 237 bout. Weili Zhang, fighting in her homeland China, destroys her less than a minute into the very first round.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : Lover ( album ) … Taylor Swift

audio review : Lover ( album ) ... Taylor Swift

“I Forgot That You Existed,” Taylor Swift tells a past Lover, “It isn’t love; it isn’t hate; it’s just indifference.” If that were true, she doesn’t seem to realize, the song itself wouldn’t exist. Perhaps it shouldn’t, at least not where it is. It’s a decent ditty for my money but an odd way to start an album about the “love” she claims it isn’t.

Cruel Summer, the album’s worst song; it’s the annoying chorus that’s cruel; should also be cut. That would put the lush title track in the lead where it belongs. Not that editing the playlist would make this a Lovable or even likeable set. It’ll Get Better, but not by much. There are maybe a couple of good songs in the whole bunch.

False God resurrects Prince in his prime with its beatific groove and even Taylor Swift stretching “love” out to five syllables can’t ruin the experience. Me, featuring Brendon Urie, is flawed by a cringey pitch change during its otherwise wonderful chorus. For some reason, they decide to go high on the “you” in “fun of you”.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : I Wanna Thank Me ( album ) … Snoop Dogg

audio review : I Wanna Thank Me ( album ) ... Snoop Dogg

Snoop Dogg shouldn’t be thanking himself for these songs. Most of them are decent enough, thanks mostly to an assortment of Long Beach hood beats; the Looking For You summer anthem is the best in that regard; but some parts are annoying.

It’s good to hear Slick Rick in 2019; he was also featured on Mariah Carey’s newest album; but the song he’s on is on some tired race card bullshit. It’s also disappointing hearing banal Bob Marley, Whodini and Boyz 2 Men song bits used for hooks.

The title is silly, but it’s not Snoop’s worst. Remember Malice N Wonderland? It would be appropriate if this were his final album. I doubt it is; the Thank Me concept is based on his Hollywood star acceptance speech; but maybe it should be.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : No Holds Barred

video review : No Holds Barred

Hulk Hogan may as well be playing Hulk Hogan. That’s how close WWF superstar Rip is to the real-life entertainer. His nemesis here is a beast of a man named Zeus who, at one point, puts a brutal beating on Rip’s little brother.

It’s Rocky with a wrestling slant and trainer Charlie is Mickey Goldmill. The movie is hackneyed and somewhat predictable from beginning to end, but there are funny moments and the peak showdown is better than expected.

my rating : 3 of 5

1989

audio review : Bang ( song ) … Tori Amos

This song is rather dull and dreary until about the final third when Tori Amos, over spacey electric guitars, starts listing chemical elements from the periodic table. That whole end section, in which she sings of wanting to be “the very best machine I can be”, is rather dazzling. The whole song should sound like that.

my rating : 3 of 5

2017

audio review : Native Invader ( album ) ... Tori Amos

video review : Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

video review : Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino says he wants to retire after ten movies. This is number nine. If he were to ask me what I think he should do to end his career on a high note, I’d sum it up with one word; suspense. That’s what makes his best movies; Inglourious Basterds and Jackie Brown; the classics they are. They’re filled almost to the brim with moments of suspense.

There’s a scene in Hollywood in which one of its two leading men; Brad Pitt as stuntman Cliff Booth; drives a sexy hitchhiker girl to Spahn Movie Ranch, where she says she lives. She invites him on the premises to meet her hippie friends. The tension that follows could be cut with a knife, but it leads nowhere. The suspense doesn’t return until the movie is about to end.

That ending, in which members of Charles Manson’s killer cult target Cliff and his famous actor buddy Rick Dalton; Leonardo DiCaprio as the other leading man; is violent and enthralling. Most of what comes before it is relatively uneventful. A lot of the movie is spent watching Dalton act in movies that are more entertaining than the one you’re watching.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : Practice Makes Paper ( album ) … E-40

audio review : Practice Makes Paper ( album ) ... E-40

E-40 announced this album about a year ago. It was supposed to be the third in a trilogy having to do with the definitions of the title phrases. The first was The Gift Of Gab. The second was supposed to be Rule Of Thumb. He either changed the order or canceled that one. This does seem to be two albums combined into one.

There are 26 songs, one of which features Scarface. I remember E-40 saying in an interview that Scarface was the one rapper he wanted to collab with but never have. Also featured are Rick Ross, Redman and Method Man. E-40 is never outshined though. Even when the hooks are lacking, as is often the case, he’s spitting game.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : Child’s Play

video review : Child's Play

This Child’s Play remake, however unnecessary it may be, is, at worst, as watchable as most of the other movies in the series. That’s not saying much; I don’t think most are particularly good; but it makes for a surprisingly amusing experience.

Chucky, who doesn’t really look or sound like Chucky; Brad Dourif is replaced by Mark Hamill; dabbles not in Vodou but smart home technology. The story, which relies heavily on horror/comedy clichés, brings the old killer doll to 2019.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : Won’t You Be My Neighbor

video review : Won't You Be My Neighbor

The title song, also the official theme song to Mister Rogers Neighborhood, is damn good. It’s the one part of the show I still enjoy as an adult. The show itself hasn’t aged nearly as well. This documentary; featuring biographical monologues from Fred Rogers, his family and associates; serves as a reminder. It teaches viewers a lot of new things about the Neighborhood, but nothing interesting enough to justify its existence.

my rating : 3 of 5

2018