Category: reviews with a 4 of 5 rating

audio review : Summertime ( song ) … Will Smith

It would be hard to go wrong over a sample of Kool And The Gang’s Summer Madness; a song that, in contrary to its title, could induce even the purest of grammarians to use “chill” as an adjective; in any case. Still The Fresh Prince deserves props for updating the scene from a general sense of summer to a hot day on the streets of urban America. “Girls out hunting and guys doing likewise,” he observes, “honking at the honey in front you with the light eyes.”

It’s “a groove that soothes and moves romance,” which for most of the college crowd is code for sex. Others are satisfied simply showing their fashion and beauty; “fresh from the barbershop, fly from the beauty salon”; playing basketball, eating barbeque or just partying and having fun. Will Smith and the gang; his background boys provide a fitting soundscape; cover it all, but it’s the girl singing; for her, it’s “time to sit back and unwind”; that keeps you hooked.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

audio review : Brilliant Classics music : Viotti [ Flute Quartets Opus 22 ]

audio review : Brilliant Classics music : Viotti [ Flute Quartets Opus 22 ]

Viotti was Italian, as is the Quartet covering him on this Brilliant Classics set, but it’s an old oil painting of Westminster Bridge that sets the scene. The composer, the liner notes tell us, resided in England when this opus was probably written.

The music, which goes from placid (Andante) to lively (Allegro) over the course of nearly an hour, sounds pleasant enough to my unchambered ears. It would certainly serve as a fitting backdrop as one paddles back in time to early 1800s Europe.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

audio review : We Got Love ( song ) … Teyana Taylor

What’s missing on the official version of this song is Kanye West’s melodic ad-libs from the demo. It didn’t really make sense for him to back only Teyana Taylor’s first verse; the second verse would’ve been better; but instead of being moved, he’s cut from the song entirely.

Still the best parts aren’t Teyana Taylor’s. That little scream she does after “Home is where the heart is” sounds mildly annoying. It’s the music she’s rapping to I like the most. What I Love is the ending where Lauryn Hill does a bombastic monologue over gorgeous synth chords.

my rating : 4 of 5

2019

Barber’s Eggnog

Barber's Eggnog

I don’t know who Barber is; their distributor is Prairie Farms Dairy in Illinois; but they make some good eggnog. If there’s a complaint, it’s that it could (should) be a little thicker, but even that isn’t a problem if you’re drinking it with a mouthful of graham crackers like I do. Consider it an early Christmas gift. “Season’s greetings” indeed.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : The Don And The Boss ( song ) … Vybz Kartel + Busta Rhymes

This is an ode to big “bumpa” women like Nicki Minaj and Megan Thee Stallion. That specific celebrities are mentioned by name during the hook serves as the song’s one notable blunder.

The vocals, specifically their Rastafarian delivery, and the beat; the sole purpose of which is for sweaty subservient females to dance like they’re fucking to; make for a sultry club banger.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

video review : Anderson Silva versus Forrest Griffin at UFC 101

video review : Anderson Silva versus Forrest Griffin at UFC 101

This is not only “one of the most embarrassing knockouts I think we’ve ever seen,” it’s also one of the funniest. Forrest Griffin looks like he’s goofing around when he falls down for the third time from a paw punch that looks like it’s “not even a very hard one”.

I don’t know if what happens in this short bout; it ends in the first round; has more to do with Forrest Griffin having a bad day or Anderson Silva being arguably the best (pound-for-pound) fighter in The UFC, but both factors seem to be at play.

my rating : 4 of 5

2009

video review : Khabib Nurmagomedov versus Justin Gaethje at UFC 254

video review : Khabib Nurmagomedov versus Justin Gaethje at UFC 254

“Number one pound-for-pound fighter in the world”? My reply to such a bombastic claim is probably not; there are a lot of unknown fighters in the world; but it seems Khabib Nurmagomedov is currently the best pound-for-pound fighter in The UFC. He’s also one of the best ever, which makes news of his retirement; he announces it in his post-fight interview after an emotional salute to his father; that much more impactful.

I thought Justin Gaethje’s chances of winning this bout were being overhyped by MMA fans, but he does even worse than I guessed. That’s not so much a criticism of his skills; he does manage to land a few of his “patented” leg kicks, which Nurmagomedov doesn’t have much of an answer for; but how long he lasts. At not even two full rounds, it’s the champion’s quickest victory since pummeling Thiago Tavares back in 2013.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

video review : The Worm Eaters

video review : The Worm Eaters

Herman Umgar, an old clubfooted man who lives a life of seclusion but for his collection of pet worms, is a “strange one”. He’s also the most endearing character in this movie; a horror comedy you’ll have to embrace the low-budget campiness of in order to enjoy. It’s not a good movie in the traditional sense, quite the contrary, but its flaws; the outrageous acting being the most obvious one; are greatly exceeded by its charm.

The plot has the villainous mayor launching a campaign to rezone Umgar’s land (lake) in order to build estates for profit, which provides just enough suspense to keep things crawling along. The title scenes, featuring close-ups of people eating what looks like real worms, are gross. The ones of Umgar bonding with his beloved pets are engaging, along with the (diegetic/non-diegetic) music, which include his own home ditties.

my rating : 4 of 5

1977

audio review : Can’t Let Her Get Away ( song ) … Michael Jackson

The verses and bridges, sang from the perspective of a guy distraught because his girlfriend is leaving him, sound superb. That’s partly because of pretty chords introduced to the otherwise sparse Swing beat. It’s the hook, one of Michael Jackson’s worst if only because it seems so incomplete, that’s anticlimactic.

The whole song, in fact, sounds like a demo, especially during the second half when the aforementioned verses and bridges are abandoned for what comes across as an extended Dub Mix. It’s a groovy song, strange structure and all. I’m just surprised it actually made it onto a Michael Jackson album as it is.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

video review : Hell Or High Water

video review : Hell Or High Water

The Tanner and Marcus characters; a bank robber and Texas Ranger; are a bit over the top. It’s their partners; one in crime, the other in justice; that serve as their relatively normal counterparts if there is a such thing as normal people in Texas.

Hell Or High Water is a game of cat and mouse that’s both fun and mildly riveting from the start. That’s mainly due to the plot’s balance of humor and tension money-rolled with a tender backstory that’ll have you rooting for the purported bad guys.

my rating : 4 of 5

2016

McDonald’s Big Breakfast With Hotcakes

McDonald's Big Breakfast With Hotcakes

Aside from their legendary Filet-O-Fish, the best-tasting food you can get from McDonald’s is their Hotcakes with butter and syrup. The most delicious eating method is to use the syrup sparingly by not pouring it onto the cakes but dipping the cakes into it; the sweetness can become overbearing otherwise; after covering them in the whipped butter.

This Big Breakfast, which for me is a normal-sized breakfast, adds not only a sausage patty; the best side; but scrambled eggs, hash browns and a biscuit. That last bit comes across as a random add-on; pancakes are already a kind of bread; and hash browns aren’t a part of my ideal breakfast, but they help get you full, which is the ultimate goal here.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : U Got The Look ( song ) … Prince ( featuring Sheena Easton )

The concept here is a little confusing. The U in the title refers to “a pretty girl” Prince is “taken aback” by, but Sheena Easton sings the chorus and it’s hard to determine whether she’s supposed to be the girl or an artistic extension of Prince’s thoughts about the girl. The third verse, a repeat of the first, suggests the former, but who knows.

That hook is the best part of the song, especially the first four bars, though it’s the in-your-face drumbeat and sparse guitar riffs that keep it rocking. The setting seems to be some kind of dance club with “ugly lights”, but it’s the bed that will be rocking if heterosexual allure gets its way. “If your love is good,” one line goes, “let’s get to ramming”.

my rating : 4 of 5

1987