video review : The Goonies

video review : The Goonies

The Goonies are reject kids who live for fun and wonder, use “gnarly” as an interjection, scream “Geronimo” down water slides and refer to each other as “guys” a little too much.

These imitation Hardy Boys and girls journey thru caves and taverns rigged with traps and bats, but the scariest bit is a grotesque being who looks like Bert from the back.

Maybe the movie, with its crude plot, idiotic comedy attempts and all, wouldn’t be so bad if the kids, especially the fat one and the Chinese one, weren’t so damn annoying.

my rating : 1 of 5

1985

audio review : Son Of A Gun [ I Betcha Think This Song Is About You ] ( song ) … Janet Jackson ( featuring Carly Simon )

The beat, led by what sounds like a sample of Klaus Voorman’s bass riff from You’re So Vain; the Carly Simon song this Janet Jackson song interpolates; is fire. It’s also hip-hop. That might be why the women decided to rap, which comes across more like spoken word poetry.

To be clear, Carly Simon provides new vocals here; psychotic ramblings are more like it; and she’s pretty annoying, but there’s a part at the end of a bridge in which she brings the song to an aesthetic high. “I’m a storm cloud, baby,” she says, “You can roll like thunder all over me.”

The Vain chorus the subtitle comes from, which serves as the chorus here too, is the worst part, but it’s one of those relatively rare cases in which a song is good even though its chorus isn’t. Aside from the classic Jam/Lewis beat, that’s thanks mostly to Janet Jackson’s sassy singing.

my rating : 4 of 5

2001

audio review : All For You ( album ) ... Janet Jackson