The best song here is about a talkative girl named Elizabeth Einstein. It’s a “love” ballad that stands out for its vocal melodies and harmonies. “We could be a good idea some time,” a smitten Adam Schmitt thinks to himself as she blathers on. It’s a good song on an album that, despite its title, is mostly a dull affair.
my rating : 3 of 5
1991
The best way to enjoy this treat, released to Publix stores as a Limited Edition during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season, is to melt it down in a bowl so that you’re left with creamy lumps of Ice Cream in a pool of yummy Eggnog. Flavored with a hint of rum, this Publix Premium is a delectable dessert I wish were available all year round.
my rating : 5 of 5
The carton says Grade A and they got that right. Even if the A stands for Astounding or Astonishing, it’s a fitting exaggeration. This Eggnog is thick and creamy. It also tastes delicious. Drink it ice cold with Publix Cinnamon Graham Snack Crackers in your mouth for the full experience.
my rating : 5 of 5
This song doesn’t really vibe until the chords drop halfway in. That’s when it goes from just a bassy party anthem; the scene is the ballroom of a five-star hotel; to something special. It’s an example of how effective the addition of one music instrument can be, but it should’ve sounded that way from the start.
The queen is faultless though as she struts a path thru the crowd. The title is literally her telling them to get out of the way, though it also serves as a command to dance. She’s headed to the VIP section, but not before grabbing a glass of Champagne and sharing a kiss with some guy who doesn’t look like Jay-Z.
my rating : 4 of 5
2022
It’s the beat, specifically that little piano riff, that leads here. Flavor Flav is more or less a backdrop. The first verse barely makes sense, though it does contain his best line about a man whose “turkey ain’t got no stuffing.” This is a rare example of a good song with a weak hook. Harry Allen, with his corny News reporter voice, adds authenticity to the concept.
my rating : 4 of 5
1991
You’d think a soap “exclusively created for guests of” Rosen Hotels And Resorts would be mild and unobtrusive, but this is anything but. The bar looks pleasant enough and the lather is okay, but it smells like a mix of lemons, pepper and wood burning under a chimney. It also makes your skin feel sticky, which is weird.
my rating : 2 of 5
James Cameron’s Avatar is comparable to his Terminator movies in that a so-so science fiction flick is followed by a sequel that totally blows it out of the ocean. The Way Of Water at the start seems underwhelming, too much like a visual and narrative rehash of its predecessor, until you’re spirited away to a new world and the brilliant title concept comes into play.
The gist is simple. Several years have passed. “The sky people”, led by a resurrected and vengeful Colonel Quaritch, have returned to Pandora. The Sully family; Jack and Neytiri now have three kids of their own and two they’ve adopted; are therefore forced to leave the Omatikaya in order to keep them safe from harm, which eventually endangers their new Metkayina friends.
Everything about this Avatar is better than the original. It’s an aquatic, ultimately Titanic, adventure. The characterization is especially improved. Jack and Neytiri are actually likable here and their daughters, along with their son’s potential girlfriend Tsireya, provide plenty moments of cuteness. It’s a tulkun (whale) named Payakan though who’ll steal your heart.
my rating : 5 of 5
2022
Why R Kelly would put out a song entitled I Admit while being publicly accused of, and potentially investigated for, real-life sex crimes; a song at least partially about said allegations; is beyond me. He stops short of confessing to an actual crime; in fact he strongly implies his innocence; and a song, even a long-ass rambling one, is just a song, but it’s not a good look.
“I admit it,” the ill-advised hook goes, “I did it.” His detractors (“haters”) will isolate those words and use them as weapons, but his sentiments aren’t lost on me. This is, from the prolific R&B artist whose album titles include Love Letter and Write Me Back, an open diary entry in which the singer; a famous one on the verge of becoming infamous; laments his life struggles.
You can say he’s playing the victim, but, in some ways, he is one. A lot of celebrities are. They’re often taken advantage of for the sake of fame and fortune and Kells is no exception. I think that’s him in “the tape”. I saw it before deepfakes. I also think he’s being falsely accused by lying-ass groupies. Don’t get me started on Jim DeRogatis and the biased news media.
my rating : 3 of 5
2018
I don’t consider this a Classic, but perhaps it could be with one major alteration. The best part is the Cheesecake itself; the actual cream cheese filling; and the Strawberries make for a fitting topping. I certainly prefer them over cherries. It’s the crumbly graham cracker crust the pie would do better without.
my rating : 4 of 5
Mount Westmore should be the album title. There’s no need for a group moniker. Stating each rapper’s name; Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, E-40 and Too Short; doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it’s better than cramming them together for what ultimately makes for an awkwardly self-titled debut. That’s if you don’t count the obscure NFT version; Bad MFs; released a few months ago.
The songs are about what you’d expect. All four Californians are, as the farcical cover picture suggests, gods of the rap game. They’re also long past their creative slash stylistic primes, though E-40 remains the most unique and interesting character of the bunch. His verses and the beats are the best parts. The worst are the hooks, most of which are, despite claims to do their Best, half-assed.
my rating : 3 of 5
2022
This soap is “exclusively created for guests of” Rosen Hotels And Resorts. The Cleansing bit is redundant; what soap doesn’t cleanse; and the scent is surprisingly pungent, but it’s fancy stuff. There’s actual (visible/feelable) Oatmeal embedded in the bar, which, beside looking like it fell on a dirty floor, is fun to use.
my rating : 4 of 5
MC Shan must’ve been on that Rock Stuff when he decided to include on his third solo album a song by M And M. Their “groove”; a chorusless demo; is easily the worst here. The best, which, true to the liner pictures, ends the set on a romantic note, is How I Feel About You; the heartbreak beat of which is quite beguiling. Ain’t It Good To You? Yeah, it is. I also like Ran The Game and Funkin.
Shan, with his sneakily clever rhymes and charismatic vocal inflections, is fun to listen to. It’s when nothing interesting’s happening during the breaks that the album falters. The vocal samples on Time For Us To Defend Ourselves, which protests police brutality, are quite effective, but the Richard Pryor bits on Death Was Quite A Surprise and Music You Can Dance To won’t induce any encores.
my rating : 3 of 5
1990