This Fast Twitch, “from the makers of Gatorade”, tastes like Kool-Aid with too much water in it… or not enough sugar. That’s appropriate enough considering there’s “zero sugar”; a health boast nearly rescinded with the addition of its sucralose substitute. It’s an energy drink made for sports athletes.
my rating : 3 of 5
This is supposed to taste like Gummy Bears. It sort of does, but not enough to warrant the namesake. Speaking of which, as far as energy drinks go, it’s far from the “Greatest of all time”, though the can suggests the acronym actually refers to the quintessential drinker; the Muhammad Alis and Michael Jordans of the sports world.
my rating : 3 of 5
This Fast Twitch, “from the makers of Gatorade”, tastes like the Grape Robitussin or Dimetapp I was given as a child. It smells like Grape Jolly Ranchers. Grape is one of my favorite flavors/scents, so, nostalgia aside, I like it.
The fact that it also provides enough caffeine and electrolytes “to help athletes ignite power and athletic performance”, with no stinging carbonation to damper the experience, ranks it among the better energy drinks.
my rating : 4 of 5
These Original Pringles, promoted as “bursting with flavor”, are certainly good enough to eat; the addition of salt makes for a delightful contrast when eaten with a sweet drink; but they’re not as good as Lay’s Stax. That’s partly due to their comparatively flimsy bite.
my rating : 4 of 5
The prosaic title of this song, which I would’ve made The Goods, refers to a guy’s girlfriend’s vaginal skills when it comes to sexual intercourse. Total; Kima Keisha And Pam; play the role of the (booty) call girl who brags she can do it better because she puts her “back into it”.
It’s a sexy song indeed; the music is sleekly produced; but it would be better without Missy and Diddy’s ad-libs. The biggest turnoff is when the latter breaks the fourth wall and promotes the former by name, which takes you; the aforementioned beau; right out of the fantasy.
my rating : 4 of 5
1998
If the Ranch bit has to do with dressing, it’s a case of false advertising because the flavor is basically undetectable. Still these Doritos taste damn good, about as good as the Nacho Cheese version, especially when you happen to grab one coated with extra seasoning.
my rating : 4 of 5
This Rockstar Energy Drink tastes like Smarties; the candy. That’s despite the fact that it’s Sugar Free. If that bit has to do with health, the sucralose added in its place probably isn’t much better. There are also 160 milligrams of caffeine, which, according to the can, “provides feelings of increased alertness and reduced tiredness for up to 5 hours.”
my rating : 3 of 5
JT Money is Immortal in the sense of being a permanent part of “hip-hop history”, but he’s more of a footnote than he seems to realize. He’s known mostly from Poison Clan; a duo; Debonaire actually drops a surprise verse here; turned group known mostly as a protégé of Uncle Luke. Now, like too many OGs in the game, he’s more concerned with making Mount Rushmore lists than making good songs.
my rating : 2 of 5
2024
This “limited edition” G Fuel Energy Drink is based on Crash Bandicoot 4. It’s About Time goes the subtitle, but it’s mostly about promotion as the drink was apparently created for the sole purpose of advertising the game. The flavor is Wumpa Fruit, appropriately enough, which is actually a fun apple mango blend.
my rating : 3 of 5
“It’s so warm inside,” Phil Collins says, but the indication doesn’t make sense on a song that has him outside of presumably an ex-girlfriend’s window begging her to Come Out. The Tonight bit, over this lush and enchanting soundscape, makes for a fitting serenade. Then again his words may just be thoughts of what he would say if he had the courage to invite her back into his life.
my rating : 4 of 5
1993
This sequel, which fans of the original had to wait 36 years for, is abysmally disappointing during its first half. It isn’t until Beetlejuice; the title cleverly makes way for a future trilogy; is conjured that the plot starts to come to life. It’s still a stupid movie; a definite drop down from the aforementioned original; but there are wacky bits of fun buried about.
my rating : 2 of 5
2024
Beetlejuice is supposed to be funny. It occasionally is; “I’ve been feeling a little flat”, says a man who looks like he was killed by a steamroller; but the nonstop jokes, led by its title comedian slash “bio-exorcist”, are mostly corny. The two lip-synced song/dance scenes; easily the worst parts of the movie; are downright cringey. A moderately entertaining plot, about a dead married couple trying to scare a family out of their house, lies (buried) underneath.
my rating : 3 of 5
1988
