audio review : Poor Georgie ( song ) … MC Lyte

“If you love someone, you should say it often,” MC Lyte advises, “You’ll never know when they’ll be laying in a coffin.” Awkward grammar aside, it’s a poignant message and the lesson of this story about a guy she met one night at a (dance) club.

There are “kiss/cry” breaks; the Motown hit bits, while random in their inclusion, also add a nice touch; but no chorus. It’s the lonely guitar loop; the whole song is based on Toto’s Georgy Porgy; that keeps you hooked till the tragic end.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

audio review : Act Like You Know ( album ) ... MC Lyte

video review : Miranda Maverick versus Erin Blanchfield at UFC 269

video review : Miranda Maverick versus Erin Blanchfield at UFC 269

In hindsight, it’s easy to say Miranda Maverick shouldn’t have taken this fight. She stepped in, on about a month’s notice, to replace a reportedly injured Maycee Barber, who gave Maverick her first UFC defeat back in July, but gets mostly dominated.

“How you feel right now,” Maverick’s coach starts to say between rounds, but she takes it as a question. “I’m losing,” she answers. She does good at limiting “damage”, but it’s Blanchfield’s offense; takedowns and ground game; that does her in.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

video review : Buried

video review : Buried

A lot of people say that being Buried alive is the thing they fear more than anything else. I can think of worse, but the lack of oxygen alone would make for a terrifying experience. An American truck driver named Paul Conroy finds himself in just this situation after being kidnapped by “terrorists” while doing contract work in Iraq.

The hook is that the entire movie, which is sometimes overdramatic but generally suspenseful, takes place in the coffin. That means we’re with Paul the whole time. His breathing is annoying, but there are interesting talk breaks as his abductors were thoughtful enough to leave him with a cellphone to call home and beg for ransom money with.

my rating : 3 of 5

2010

Ilhan Omar’s physical appearance

Ilhan Omar's physical appearance Ilhan Omar's physical appearance Ilhan Omar's physical appearance Ilhan Omar's physical appearance Ilhan Omar's physical appearance

A woman’s face is the most important thing when it comes to her physical appearance and often the most important thing about her period, but that’s basically all Ilhan Omar shows. She’s apparently fully clothed any time she expects to be seen by the general public. Aside from her mugshots, we never even see her hair.

That makes for a tough review, but I can tell she’s nowhere near fat. In fact she’s quite slim. My body standards are wide open from there. The aforementioned face is also acceptable. She’s actually somewhat cute; the only notable drawback being her seemingly bloodshot eyes and the way the middle part of her nose droops down.

I want to see more of her. If not an outline of her tits and ass, full bare legs and arms would be nice. When she’s feeling frisky, or risky given the strict fashion boundaries of her Muslim religion, she’s been known to show a little arm. I was also (surprisingly) able to find some pictures of her lovely feet, which for me is like porn.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

audio review : Breath Control 2 ( song ) … KRS-One

This beat, perhaps the best KRS-One’s ever rapped to, should’ve been put aside for a different artist. It’s a marvelous reggae loop that would’ve been perfect for, say, a Jamal-Ski song for Jamaican girls to shake their butts to. KRS-One is too obsessed with his skills as an MC to allow such mindless fun.

To be clear, it is a good song. Not just for the beat but also KRS-One’s vocal delivery and flow, which goes nicely with it. It’s the concept; a very unnecessary sequel to Breath Control; it would be better without. Even worse is how he dates it by mentioning the year during the “dope style” introduction.

my rating : 4 of 5

1990

audio review : Edutainment ( album ) ... Boogie Down Productions

audio review : Amerikkka’s Nightmare ( album ) … Spice 1

audio review : Amerikkka's Nightmare ( album ) ... Spice 1

“Now they try to wonder and figure how the fuck Charles Manson turn himself to a nigger,” Spice 1 says. The first bar of that line doesn’t really make sense, but the second one is a rare moment of metaphorical brilliance from an otherwise run-of-the-mill gangsta rapper. You listen to Spice 1 albums not for his wit but for his cap-busting tough talk and the grimy beats they’re presented upon. In that regard, AmeriKKKa’s Nightmare doesn’t disappoint. It’s his third, longest and perhaps best album so far.

D-Boyz Got Love for Me, featuring Jive labelmate E-40, is an odd start, but it’s addictive vibe, led by one of the sickest basslines you ever heard Spice 1 rap to, makes it one of the best songs on the album. The piano-led Tell Me What That Mail Like is another. In almost every case, with the exception of a few G-Funk knock-offs, it’s the music, most of which is carefully produced by Blackjack, that overshadows the vocals to the point where you almost start to wonder if the album would be better as an instrumental.

I don’t know, but the only major gripe I have with the album, other than the fact that Spice 1 insists on dating his songs with “94” references, is the diss song. It’s dedicated to Pooh Man; a “fat-ass pudgy” rapper Spice 1 is apparently beefing with. It’s interesting to hear him go at a real person, but the hook, which makes the artistic blunder of stealing a line from Menace To Society, is awkwardly off-beat. Worse yet, the song, which ends the album, has basically nothing to do with the overall concept.

my rating : 3 of 5

1994

audio review : God Only Knows ( song ) … The Beach Boys

This song has one of the most beautiful endings you’ll ever hear. Almost exactly 2 minutes in; when a piano, tambourine and string ensemble give way to what sounds like gentle tap dancing; it goes from just a nice serenade to something special.

“God Only Knows what I’d be without you,” the Boys sing in succession, seemingly trying to outdo each other with their melodic acquities, until the music fades. It’s a marvelous sequence. Too bad the whole song doesn’t sound like that.

my rating : 4 of 5

1966

audio review : God Only Knows ( song ) ... The Beach Boys

Roger Wood Lumber Jack Smoked Sausage

Roger Wood Lumber Jack Smoked Sausage

The catchphrase; Great Tastin Good; makes no sense, but these Smoked Sausages are tasty enough to eat and enjoy. At least that’s the case when you put them on a bun with ketchup and mayonnaise or use them as a side with macaroni and cheese.

What’s a bit annoying is how they come tied in pairs, meaning you have to cut them, umbilical-cord-style, before you cook one. It also means, unless you snip off the parts you cut, you’re often left chewing on tough strings, which could potentially kill you.

What’s fun, though it might also make your skin crawl, is how they burst open, sometimes violently, when you boil them too long. It’s a grotesque sight, but the laceration makes for a convenient place to hold the aforementioned ketchup and mayo.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Brown Eyed Girl ( song ) … Van Morrison

The only thing I dislike about this song; an ode to a Brown Eyed Girl Van Morrison used to have romantic and sexual relations with as a youth; is when he recites the “sha-la-la” song they used to sing. It serves as a sort of bridge or post chorus, but the song would be better without it.

Everything else, from the vocal melodies to the bouncy instrumentation they’re layered upon, sounds beautiful. I wonder if the Girl had the looks to match. Typically when a guy focuses only on a girl’s eyes, as Morrison does here, it means there’s not much else about her to compliment.

my rating : 4 of 5

1967

audio review : Brown Eyed Girl ( song ) ... Van Morrison

video review : Charles Oliveira versus Michael Chandler at UFC 262

video review : Charles Oliveira versus Michael Chandler at UFC 262

Michael Chandler comes close to a TKO victory in the very first round of this fight, but Charles Oliveira survives. What happens early in round two is akin to Oliveira; “the number-one submission guy in the history of The UFC”; being submitted by Chandler, the “gorilla”.

Oliveira lands a left to Chandler’s face that puts him on his ass. He (Chandler) spins back up only to get caught again, with the same punch, a few seconds later. Down he goes again and Dan Miragliotta’s seen enough, which makes Oliveira the new Lightweight Champion.

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

audio review : 14 Shots To The Dome ( album ) … LL Cool J

audio review : 14 Shots To The Dome ( album ) ... LL Cool J

This LL Cool J album begins like his previous one should’ve. How I’m Comin, a Marley Marl production seemingly created and released as the first single to recapture the commercial success of Mama Said Knock You Out, is an appropriate starter. Crossroads, about Biblical Revelation, is a fitting closer.

There’s only one good song in-between; a lament entitled Diggy Down on which Cool J covers societal problems such as poverty and crime. “In every alleyway, they’re getting high,” the occasional philanthropist observes, “On playgrounds, they’re selling crack and every day another baby dies.”

my rating : 3 of 5

1993

audio review : Mama Said Knock You Out ( album ) … LL Cool J

audio review : Mama Said Knock You Out ( album ) ... LL Cool J

“Don’t call it a comeback; I been here for years,” LL Cool J warns, “I’m rocking my peers, putting suckers in fear.” Why the battle rapper’s suddenly being coached by Marley Marl; the producer provides the music for every song here; as if he’s a member of The Juice Crew is anyone’s guess. They’re a good match though.

The album starting with a random jam about cars Boomin loud music instead of the go-hard title track comes across as an artistic blunder, though they’re two of its better cuts. Other highlights include Cheesy Rat Blues; a funny anecdote about going broke; along with the Ladies Love songs 6 Minutes Of Pleasure and Mr Good Bar.

my rating : 3 of 5

1990