Category: reviews

McDonald’s Big Breakfast With Hotcakes

McDonald's Big Breakfast With Hotcakes

Aside from their legendary Filet-O-Fish, the best-tasting food you can get from McDonald’s is their Hotcakes with butter and syrup. The most delicious eating method is to use the syrup sparingly by not pouring it onto the cakes but dipping the cakes into it; the sweetness can become overbearing otherwise; after covering them in the whipped butter.

This Big Breakfast, which for me is a normal-sized breakfast, adds not only a sausage patty; the best side; but scrambled eggs, hash browns and a biscuit. That last bit comes across as a random add-on; pancakes are already a kind of bread; and hash browns aren’t a part of my ideal breakfast, but they help get you full, which is the ultimate goal here.

my rating : 4 of 5

video review : The Lodge

video review : The Lodge

The subgenre here is Christian horror, but those scenes, which revolve around a potential stepmother and ex-cultist named Grace, are the worst parts. The Lodge, the lazy title of which comes from the story’s main setting, is best during its build-up; a man coaxes his kids into spending Christmas with his “psychopath” fiancée months after the suicide of their mom; before the scary music and cliché dream sequences come into play.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : U Got The Look ( song ) … Prince ( featuring Sheena Easton )

The concept here is a little confusing. The U in the title refers to “a pretty girl” Prince is “taken aback” by, but Sheena Easton sings the chorus and it’s hard to determine whether she’s supposed to be the girl or an artistic extension of Prince’s thoughts about the girl. The third verse, a repeat of the first, suggests the former, but who knows.

That hook is the best part of the song, especially the first four bars, though it’s the in-your-face drumbeat and sparse guitar riffs that keep it rocking. The setting seems to be some kind of dance club with “ugly lights”, but it’s the bed that will be rocking if heterosexual allure gets its way. “If your love is good,” one line goes, “let’s get to ramming”.

my rating : 4 of 5

1987

Ivanka Trump’s physical appearance

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Ivanka Trump is a businesswoman who’s rarely seen in public without being dressed up in fancy clothes and makeup, so it’s hard to get an idea of how she really looks. Her image is sexy, seductive even, but her face; the most important part; is only almost pretty.

Her nose, which seems to point downward, is a bit of a distraction, but it’s perhaps her only notable flaw. Her height is more forgivable. I prefer short women, but, at 5 feet and 11 inches, she has some nice long fashion model alumna legs. She also has excellent teeth.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

video review : Israel Adesanya versus Paulo Costa at UFC 253

video review : Israel Adesanya versus Paulo Costa at UFC 253

It seems Israel Adesanya is fulfilling his own prophecy by becoming one of the greatest UFC champions of all time. He has to acquire a lot more wins to reach the level of Anderson Silva and Jon Jones; two fighters his style comes across as a combination of, also my two favorite fighters; but he’s on his way.

“I wanna make him my bitch,” The Last Stylebender said of Paulo Costa in a promo interview and that’s exactly what he does. He bruises his body with vicious leg kicks, bruises his ego with a second round knockout and simulates prison rape via dry humps right there in the center of The Octagon.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

video review : Dominick Reyes versus Jan Błachowicz at UFC 253

video review : Dominick Reyes versus Jan Błachowicz at UFC 253

It doesn’t really make sense that Jan Błachowicz calls out Jon Jones after this fight, which is a title bout only because Jones decided to vacate the Light Heavyweight belt to compete in the Heavyweight division, but his victory is damn impressive. He’s able to do to Dominick Reyes what the former champion couldn’t, knocking him down and out in just the second round. “Polish power” indeed.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

audio review : Something About The Way You Look Tonight ( song ) … Elton John

The best part of this song, which is conceptually reminiscent of Chris De Burgh’s Lady In Red; though, knowing Elton John, he’s probably singing about some dude; comes at the end. “The way you look tonight,” he says with passion, stretching the word “look” out to three seconds. I love that part.

my rating : 4 of 5

1997

video review : Cuties

video review : Cuties

Cuties are a dance group comprised of eleven-year-old girls. The movie focuses on a member named Amy as she deals with the juxtaposition of her school and home life. Her mother raises her and her little brother to conform to the traditions of their African religion. Her mischievous schoolmates; the other four Cuties; are her escape.

The plot revolves (gyrates) around a dance contest the girls want to compete in, but there’s little suspense in the buildup. The main character is mostly used as a sexual case study. Watch as she goes on her first period and shares her first pussy pic; interesting tidbits in a coming-of-age story that’s barely adequate as a whole.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

Still Blowin ( mixtape ) … Too Short

Still Blowin ( mixtape ) ... Too Short

This is only a mixtape because Too Short says so. Sloppy production and spotty mastering aside, it sounds more like an official album to me. Either way it’s better than his previous, Get Off The Stage, which isn’t saying much.

He’s Still Blowin and still pimping, so he’s best when checking his Hoes. Listen and laugh at him telling a “bitch” to rub his back, suck his dick and cook his breakfast. Other highlights include All For Love and International Player.

my rating : 3 of 5

2010

audio review : Out For Fame ( song ) … KRS-One

This is a song about graffiti; probably my least favorite aspect of hip-hop culture. KRS-One is an advocate as he raps from the perspective of an artist with “25 cans in my knapsack… putting up my name with a fat cap.”

He goes on to shoutout Phase 2, Stay High, Presweet and other popular “writers”. The appeal is still lost on me, but I do like the song. That’s mainly because of the beat and the way the rapper flows onto it like a mural.

my rating : 4 of 5

1995

audio review : Spell My Name ( album ) … Toni Braxton

audio review : Spell My Name ( album ) ... Toni Braxton

It seems ever since her Divorce; ex Babyface actually provides a bonus song for this album; Toni Braxton has been a horny cougar. Her last album was called Sex And Cigarettes. The title song on this one has her asking a “young’un” if he “Wanna play”. It’s a fuck game called Spell My Name. The pedophilic undertones would be okay with me in any case; music is art; but the amount of eyebrows that would raise if Braxton was a male is an embodiment of sexist double standards.

The most obvious blunder here is that there are two versions of Do It. The original, released a few months ago, is a soothing breakup ballad. It’s also one of her best songs. The new one, which should’ve been replaced with the Babyface (Nothin) bonus, is an inferior remix of sorts featuring the annoying vocals of Missy Elliott. Fallin, about falling in love; every song on the album is enveloped in romance; is groovy though. OVERr, another breakup ballad, is another standout.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

video review : Uriah Hall versus Paulo Costa at UFC 226

video review : Uriah Hall versus Paulo Costa at UFC 226

Uriah Hall might’ve won this fight if he were more evasive. Instead of sticking and moving, he stays planted in front of powerhouse Paulo Costa, where he does find some success. That comes mostly in the form of a “nasty” jab that bloodies Costa’s face in the very first round. He gets tagged and knocked down (out) in the second.

my rating : 4 of 5

2018