Category: reviews

video review : Dawn Of The Dead

video review : Dawn Of The Dead

Night Of The Living Dead is a horror classic. Dawn, the title of which suggests it takes place the following morning; if the background calendars are up to date, it’s actually over a decade later; is a mess.

This, in comparison to the original, is easily the worst movie sequel I’ve ever seen. The narrative degradation from a serious thriller to what at times seems like wacky slapstick is staggeringly disappointing.

That the ghoul-shooting protagonists are no longer confined to a small house; most of this story takes place in an “indoor” shopping mall; is part of the problem. The rest has to do with the deadpan plot.

my rating : 1 of 5

1979

audio review : I’m Singin ( song ) … Biz Markie ( featuring Cool V )

This song, the drums of which sound like the first two cuts from the Cleared album this one is from, could be decent with a better hook. What Biz Markie sings is an annoying interpolation of Singin In The Rain, the ballad made famous by Gene Kelly in the movie of the same name.

my rating : 2 of 5

1993

audio review : All Samples Cleared ( album ) ... Biz Markie

audio review : All Samples Cleared ( album ) … Biz Markie

audio review : All Samples Cleared ( album ) ... Biz Markie

Biz Markie was sued for sampling a Gilbert O’Sullivan song on his last album. It was a historical case that changed the entire music biz. Rappers used to steal bits of other artist’s songs with little to no legal consequence. Now those Samples have to be Cleared.

The most recognizable bit is a fun disco anthem entitled Let Me Turn You On, which, perhaps because it’s permitted, not only samples but nearly karaokizes McFadden And Whitehead’s Ain’t No Stoppin. Other songs utilize their samples in a more conventional way.

The rapper also covers his own songs. Family Tree is a needless and inferior interpolation of the On And On verse before he started freestyling. In contrast, the first cut sounds like it was co-written by Big Daddy Kane. The album is otherwise slightly subpar.

my rating : 3 of 5

1993

Rockstar Pure Zero : Grape

Rockstar Pure Zero : Grape

This drink is supposed to have Zero calories, but my can says “5”. It does have Zero fat and Zero sugar. It also has Zero juice, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

When it comes to artificial flavors, grape is one of the best and this Rockstar is no exception. The problem is the carbonated sting, which distracts from its sweet taste.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : You Will Know ( song ) … Stevie Wonder

For this ballad, Stevie Wonder plays the role of Jesus Christ. You Will Know, The Lord sings in reply to the prayers of his troubled believers, “Trust and I will show.”

Perhaps it’s merely a metaphor to say that “problems have solutions”, but the vocal melodies sound about as soothing and reassuring as any good gospel song.

my rating : 4 of 5

1987

audio review : Characters ( album ) ... Stevie Wonder

Coca-Cola

Coca-Cola

What I like most about Coca-Cola is that it’s sweet. What I dislike most is that it’s carbonated. The cinnamon-vanilla-like taste is pleasant enough, especially when you drink it cold on a hot summer day, but that’s despite the mild discomfort soda (pop) and other bubbly drinks cause going down.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : Corey Anderson versus Jan Błachowicz at UFC Fight Night

video review : Corey Anderson versus Jan Błachowicz at UFC Fight Night

Johnny Walker was talking about being the first guy to beat Jon Jones until Corey Anderson knocked him out in the first round of their fight. Then Anderson claimed he’s the one. Guess how this fight turns out.

It took several punches for Anderson to finish Walker. Jan Błachowicz takes Anderson out with one. That says less about Anderson’s chin than Błachowicz’s “legendary” Polish power. This dude hits hard. Jon Jones beware.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

video review : Valentina Shevchenko versus Katlyn Chookagian at UFC 247

video review : Valentina Shevchenko versus Katlyn Chookagian at UFC 247

Katlyn Chookagian looks good when it comes to her fighting skills; her face looks like a young Jamie Lee Curtis; but Valentina Shevchenko is on a higher level. Watch as the Bullet slices her open with a “nice” elbow in the first round and nearly KOs her with a spinning back kick in the second.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

video review : Jon Jones versus Dominick Reyes at UFC 247

video review : Jon Jones versus Dominick Reyes at UFC 247

This is like the first Floyd Mayweather versus Marcos Maidana fight when Maidana (Reyes) bettered Mayweather (Jones) early but got outskilled, or perhaps just tired, as the match progressed. Still it’s a close bout, one in which the decision could’ve went either way.

I think Jon Jones should’ve lost his previous fight with Thiago Santos. It’s tougher to disagree with the judges on this one. Dominick Reyes displays more effective striking in the first three rounds, but the pressure of Jones has him on the backfoot for most of the bout.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

Made Good Crispy Squares : Vanilla

Made Good Crispy Squares : Vanilla

These Crispy Squares, promoted as snacks for kids to eat at school, are indeed Made Good when it comes to health. Just compare the Ingredients list, which is relatively short and simple, to that of the average snack food alternative.

The obvious comparison is Rice Krispies Treats, which these taste a lot like. The main difference is the marshmallows, the lack of which make the texture less than appealing. Instead of being chewy, they sort of break apart when you eat them.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Funeral ( album ) … Lil Wayne

audio review : Funeral ( album ) ... Lil Wayne

Don’t worry about forgetting the name of this album. It’s repeated ad nauseam, which won’t fare well if these songs are ever to stand on their own. There are 24 in all or 23 if you, like me, consider the first one more of a prelude.

Outta My Head is dead, but most are decent enough. The beats bang and Lil Wayne is still one of the better spitters in the game, though the best song; a Dream duet called Sights And Silencers; is the one he doesn’t rap on.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020