![video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 [ The Dream Master ]](https://marcellee.com/posts/93616.jpg)
If you thought the Nightmare series couldn’t get any worse after that last Warriors stunt, you’re in for a surprise. Part 4 is about as bad as it gets, taking the series into sitcom self-parody status. Listen to the one-liners Krueger cracks before killings. This movie is a joke, a bad one.
my rating : 1 of 5
1988
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 [ The Dream Child ]
video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]
video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare
This is about friends who rent a cabin to party, drink and have sex. It’s in the middle of nowhere, but people begin to bother them the first night, including a man infected with some kind of flesh-eating disease.
The plot spreads out from there, but goes nowhere interesting. That’s thanks mostly to its deadpan storytelling and characterization, which, by the end of the movie, has the absurdity thermostat in the red zone.
my rating : 1 of 5
2002
This third and supposedly final serving of American Pie only proves the franchise has descended into a mushy plate of shit. It begins with Jim proposing to Michelle before building to the Wedding itself via a mix of boring dialogue, sloppy editing and bad acting.
Stifler, arguably the most memorable character of the series, holds that last category almost alone. He, like the movie itself, becomes a cliché of himself. Stifler is supposed to be obnoxious and annoying but in a funny way. Here he’s just obnoxious and annoying.
my rating : 1 of 5
2003
This Palmer lollipop, which tastes like birthday cake icing, would be better if it were made with just white chocolate. The candy sprinkles along with the color coating used for the Bunny’s eyes, nose and bow tie give it life but the combination is too sweet.
my rating : 3 of 5
You don’t have to collect the trading cards to be entertained by this Movie. You need only strengthen your stomach and open your mind wide enough to dump yourself into its campy charm. It’s about a group of Kids “blessed with unusual features”.
There’s a girl who Vomits, a girl with a snotty nose, a boy who farts, a Nerd with acne who can’t hold his bladder, a 1950s-style tough guy, a Mommyless baby with bad breath and an Ali Gator with a toe fetish. Flaws and all, they’re a likeable bunch.
They’re conjured from a Garbage Pail to the “normie” world at an old antique shop ran by a philosophical magician after the boy who works there tips it over by mistake during a scuffle with the local bullies, one of which he has a romantic crush on.
The baby with the bad breath provides the funniest parts; namely the Binaca spray and movie theater slap scenes. Another standout is the Working song the Kids sing about a third in. I wish there were more. The Movie would work better as a musical.
my rating : 3 of 5
1987
![video review : Petey Wheatstraw [ The Devil's Son-In-Law ]](https://marcellee.com/posts/93572.jpg)
This is a fireball of bad acting, brainless dialogue and inane plotting with a heap of idiotic facial expressions and corny soul music thrown in for good measure. What’s entertaining is Rudy Ray Moore when he’s doing what he does best, but even his signature shit-talking gets stale as hell after a while.
my rating : 1 of 5
1977
![video review : Spice World [ The Spice Girls Movie ]](https://marcellee.com/posts/93568.jpg)
I like their music, but neither it nor their looks; Scary is the most savory; can save this Spice Girls movie from the pits of blandness. It’s like a 90-minute Girl Power promo in which the bunch, literally playing caricatures of themselves, babble about nothing in a language only deep England can fully understand.
my rating : 1 of 5
1997
There’s a scene in this movie in which one character says to another, “You don’t understand”. That second character responds, “Try and help me understand.” “I don’t understand,” a third character says about ten minutes or fifteen years later. Yeah, it’s a confusing movie.
It’s about a former US soldier stricken with amnesia after receiving a head wound in The Gulf War. He’s charged with murder a year later after hitching a ride with a guy who kills a cop and sent to a mental institution where he becomes a lab rat for a time traveler.
The plot is as stupid as it seems. Despite its sleek visual style; the morgue drawer inspires some cool flashback scenes; the story goes nowhere interesting or entertaining fast, even when it’s going nearly two decades into the future and back within the blink of an eye.
my rating : 1 of 5
2005
George Romero created something special with Night Of The Living Dead. Land just bores you to death. There’s plenty of violent action, but that’s part of the problem. With all the explosions and gunshots, the vapid storyline never has a chance to build suspense. It doesn’t even feel like a zombie movie. For screaming out loud, since when do they know how to shoot back?
my rating : 1 of 5
2005
I’ll keep this short. Bushwick Bill is the second Geto Boy to drop a solo album. He’s also the Crazyest. This project ends with J Prince helping the Skitso escape from what sounds like the psych ward of a maximum security prison. There’s a sequel to his Chuckie theme and a KKK rant, but the best song is Ever So Clear; a poignant memoir about what happened to his eye.
my rating : 3 of 5
1992
Cool V starts this with a lengthy dedication like it’s his album and says he’s going to do it again on the next one. I guess that’s okay since he handles the music production, giving him about as much artistic credit as Biz Markie whose silly raps are fun but almost never as listenable as the beats they’re presented upon.
The Biz is best when telling a story. He reminisces about a high school crush who caught the Vapors on What Comes Around Goes Around; one of his best songs. Other interesting tales include Road Block; about a girl who brings her friend along on a date; and Buck Wild; about a young rebel headed for a life of crime.
my rating : 4 of 5
1991
This is ice cream or, as the carton reads, Frozen Dairy Dessert based on Creamsicles; those ice cream Popsicles you probably ate as a kid. The taste is basically the same with too much orange and not enough vanilla. A swirl mix ratio adjustment would make it better.
my rating : 3 of 5