Freschetta Kitchen Fresh Pizza [ Naturally Rising Crust ] : Pepperoni

Freschetta Kitchen Fresh Pizza [ Naturally Rising Crust ] : Pepperoni

The Kitchen Fresh bit is somewhat of a misnomer; it comes boxed from the grocery store; but this is one of the better frozen pizzas available. That’s partly due to the Naturally Rising Crust; it’s main selling point; which comes out soft and fluffy.

I like to eat the crust first, in fact, before getting to the yummiest part; the pizza itself, made with “mozzarella and parmesan cheeses”. It’s also topped with Pepperoni, which are a tad disappointing because they’re not as crispy as they look on the box.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Rain Your Love Down ( song ) … Stevie Wonder

This goes from being a song that’s barely good to something special near the end. That’s when the busy, albeit funky, beat is stripped down to its bare bones; muffled drums, a piano and orchestral synths; to reveal a beautiful chorus.

What was unappreciated until that point is the harmonies and melodies of Stevie Wonder’s background vocals. It’s a throwback to his 1970s heyday and, on a hymn about “God”, damn powerful. I wish the whole song sounded like that.

my rating : 4 of 5

1995

audio review : Conversation Peace ( album ) ... Stevie Wonder

Hostess Patriotic Cupcakes

Hostess Patriotic Cupcakes

I’m no Patriot, but you don’t have to be to enjoy these Cupcakes; a “limited edition” because they’re made specifically for Independence Day. They apparently come in two designs; the top red and white colors swapped; but the key is to not eat too many as the sugary sweetness; they would taste better without the creamy filling; can become overwhelming.

my rating : 4 of 5

Ice Spice’s physical appearance

Ice Spice's physical appearance Ice Spice's physical appearance Ice Spice's physical appearance Ice Spice's physical appearance Ice Spice's physical appearance Ice Spice's physical appearance Ice Spice's physical appearance

Why so many otherwise (naturally) attractive females choose to doll themselves up till they look like trannies is a mystery to me. Ice Spice, rarely seen in public without aesthetic makeup; I call it fakeup; and her signature hairdo, is a prime offender. Pics from before she was famous suggest there’s a cute girl underneath.

Her best quality is her light beigy skin tone, which does wonders for her physical appearance. As far as Spices go, she’s about the color of ginger powder, which is just lovely. There aren’t many (any) parts of her body I wouldn’t put in my mouth, but she wouldn’t look nearly as tasty if her skin resembled, say, black pepper.

She’s thicker than I normally go for; I prefer thin girls and she has some definite meat on her bones, particularly from the waist down; but she’s no Lizzo. Her dimply thighs are actually a sexual turn on; again the color helps; and I’m sure that ass would provide a warm cushion for any guy lucky enough to hit it from the back.

my rating : 4 of 5

2023

audio review : Hello ( song ) … Eminem

“My head is pounding to the beat of the drum,” a drug and sex addicted Eminem announces. That beat is the best part of the song. It’s a Dr Dre production and one of his sleekest; Mark Batson serves as co-producer; not just for the drums but the twangy synths and sneaky bassline that comes at the end of every fourth bar.

It’s an introduction slash return song; a cliché concept for a rapper whose past titles include My Name Is and I’m Back. Why it doesn’t start the Relapse LP is beyond me, but, after the mediocrity of his previous two (Show/Encore) albums, Eminem is indeed “resuscitated and rejuved” when it comes to lyrical prowess.

my rating : 4 of 5

2009

audio review : Relapse ( album ) ... Eminem

audio review : Big Bad Sister ( song ) … MC Lyte

MC Lyte contradicts herself here. “The Big Bad Sister from around the way,” she describes herself as before declaring, “I’m not tall but I’m small; don’t matter what I weigh.” That last comment sounds more clever than she probably meant it when you consider how self-conscious women generally are about their weight.

It’s a good song though. That’s partly due to the rapper’s “funky lyrics”; it’s basically just a short verse and a long verse with no chorus; but mostly because of the funky New York City beat, produced by The 45 King and led by what sounds like a rendition or altered sample of the bassline from The Whatnauts’ Help Is On The Way.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

audio review : Act Like You Know ( album ) ... MC Lyte

MagicaLicious

MagicaLicious

This cereal; a Laura Lynn product distributed by Ingles Markets; is a blatant ripoff of Lucky Charms. If the similarity of the frosted oats and marshmallows weren’t obvious enough, the mascot is a Magician dressed like a leprechaun.

It tastes better though. What put me off Lucky Charms is when they started skimping on the marshmallows. These seem to have enough. Even if they didn’t, the oat pieces, all of which are shaped like stars, taste better than theirs.

my rating : 4 of 5

the Udison Portable Speaker

the Udison Portable Speaker

While certainly Portable, this would more accurately be described as a Udison Bluetooth Speaker considering it can’t be used without said technology. With just four buttons; the blue light, which can be distracting in the dark, can’t be turned off; its features are as basic as the name. Still I like it, especially in regard to its handy size and durability.

my rating : 4 of 5

Checkers Crispy Fish Sandwich

Checkers Crispy Fish Sandwich

This; a rare example of a popular fast-food Fish Sandwich available any time of year; is “topped with iceberg lettuce and tartar sauce for”, as Checkers describes it, “a boatload of flavor”.

That last bit is clever hyperbole; I wish it came with more sauce than it does and usually add my own mayo to compensate; but it’s a damn good alternative to a typical hamburger.

my rating : 4 of 5