Strawberry Cheesecake is one of the most delectable desserts there is. It’s also generally among the most expensive. Finding, on Founders Street no less, the flavor in Ice Cream can be a tasty alternative, though it rarely, if ever, matches the real thing. This treat is no exception, but it does rank among the tastier variants. That’s despite the fact that it’s hard to melt.
my rating : 4 of 5
“In 1946, my father, James S. Herr, began making potato chips,” Ed Herr says on the bag and they’re not lying when they say they’re Crisp N Tasty. The 1980s-rap stylization is silly though and they seem to be a bit messier, with brown spots and such, than most Chip brands. The three ingredients include Potatoes, vegetable oil and salt.
my rating : 4 of 5
Canadian Style Bacon is basically ham and I don’t like ham; at least not by itself; but it’s hard to ruin pizza; my favorite food. Jack’s is one of the lower quality name brands, but this Original Thin tastes good enough. Being flat and crispy does wonders as the dough; typically the worst part of a pizza; is kept to a minimal.
my rating : 4 of 5
It makes no sense to associate this cereal; marketed as Glazed Donut Holes; with Frosted Flakes. It tastes nothing like them. The flavor, along with the strong syrupy smell, is more akin to Waffle Crisp; good but not “gr-r-reat!” It also looks nothing like Frosted Flakes, aside from perhaps the color, because Flakes and Holes obviously have different shapes.
my rating : 4 of 5
“Each pizza is crafted with the utmost care”, the box reads. That’s promo fluff, but the quality does rank among the better frozen Pizzas available at your local grocery store. Would it taste better with meat? Probably. Is it good as is? Yes; mostly thanks to its “decadent cheeses” and Italian tomato sauce.
my rating : 4 of 5
“Don’t you go nowhere,” Michael Jackson once sang to who he promised would “always be” The Lady In My Life. Of course promises aren’t always kept, so now we have a breakup ballad. “Tell me what I have to do so you stay,” he pleads, “Should I get down on my knees and pray?”
The lyrics are trite and the concept is corny. I can understand not wanting a relationship to end, but begging her not to leave you is way over the line. It’s the sweet vocal melodies that save the song, especially near the end when the backgrounds and kick drum come into play.
my rating : 4 of 5
2001
This is Superman ice cream. The Kaboom bit, along with the two caped imposters serving as mascots, is probably SE Grocers attempt to avoid a trademark violation. The taste is undeniable. That’s thanks mostly to its main flavor; blue moon; a sweet scarcity outside of the US’s so-called midwest. It sort of tastes like Fruity Pebbles.
my rating : 4 of 5
This is Michael Jackson at his most grandiose, appropriately enough considering it’s the title song to the most grandiose album in History. The concept, which pays homage to innovators and icons like Thomas Edison and Muhammad Ali, is both an anthem “for mankind” and a time capsule of sorts. Among all the samples and bits, of course, there’s a song and it’s another good one, which only adds to the legacy of Jackson himself.
my rating : 4 of 5
1995
A bicycle courier named Jim awakes in an empty hospital to discover he’s in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. That’s the gist of the plot as he goes on to meet other survivors. The infected creatures they encounter are particularly scary because they’re fast and aggressive. The uninfected ones are even worse. Their dreadful predicament is resolved too conveniently in the end, even for a horror flick, but it’s a riveting journey all the way.
my rating : 4 of 5
2002
These Brownies; Freshness Guaranteed is a Walmart brand meaning you can only get them from the store; are better than the plain version. The Cream Cheese topping makes for a sweet touch; almost like a layer of white chocolate. They’re best served cold from the fridge.
my rating : 4 of 5
This drink, based on the YouTube “streamer collective” Any Means Possible, is promoted as “jaw-droppingly delicious”. That’s an exaggeration, but it is good, which is more (better) than I can say for most Bangs. It’s the carbonation that holds them back, so the flavor has to be impressive enough to outweigh it. That is the case here. It tastes like a Creamsicle.
my rating : 4 of 5
The title, as a response from Kanye West to the countless naysayers he’s accumulated as of late; mainly sensitive Jews; is quite brilliant. The song itself, which comes across more like a demo without a second verse, isn’t far behind. That’s thanks not to the crude lyrics; the “nigga” bits are redundant; but the catchy vocal melodies. This is a sociopolitical anthem of sorts.
my rating : 4 of 5
