Category: reviews

audio review : The Slim Shady LP ( album ) … Eminem

audio review : The Slim Shady LP ( album ) ... Eminem

“I wanted an album so rugged, nobody could touch it,” Eminem proclaims. If he’s referring to rap albums, this LP might just be that. I’ll say here and now with no hesitation or reservation that Eminem is the best rapper I’ve ever heard. No popular rapper you can think of, alive or dead, even comes close. I might’ve been saying the same about guest Royce Da 5-9 if he weren’t upstaged by a rapper whose comedic wit, clever wordplay and sheer rhyme skills near genius.

There is very little filler in Eminem’s verses. Even when he’s lacing them with unnecessary profanities; the Slim Shady persona is a deviant (white-trash) druggie who aims to offend; almost every two bars are a quality set and many of those sets are classic quotables. Unless he’s cheating it somehow, his creativity is close to amazing. He even does his own sound effects. The beats are also impressive, so the album’s only major drawbacks fall on Faulty choruses and silly skits.

my rating : 4 of 5

1999

audio review : The Marshall Mathers LP ( album ) … Eminem
audio review : Hell [ The Sequel ] ( album ) … Bad Meets Evil

video review : Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

video review : Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

Add this to the endless list of disappointing sequels. Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes set the scene for what could’ve been a classic movie trilogy. Dawn, the title of which is just as clunky, kills all hope.

The apes talk too much. The storyline, stitched together by a series of unlikely coincidences, is surprisingly tame and predictable. A hero found alive, a villain on a cliff; this is War Movies 101.

my rating : 3 of 5

2014

video review : War For The Planet Of The Apes

Total Slaughter : Hollow Da Don versus Joe Budden

Total Slaughter : Hollow Da Don versus Joe Budden

The battle judges say it’s Joe Budden, but the real loser is anyone who paid their hard-earned money to watch this overhyped fiasco. Both rappers had months to prepare but neither manages to come-up with anything spectacular, and hardly anything clever or interesting, to say about the other. Hollow’s puberty voice and tough-guy act are annoying, so all the while I’m hoping for him to lose, but he’s generally a decent rapper, so I thought he’d do better than this.

His lamest moment comes during the third (final) round when he stops rapping to play Captain-Save-A-Ho, threatening to beat-up Joe Budden for hitting women, which makes him (Hollow) look like a total idiot. Budden’s lamest moment comes during that same round when the rapper lets crowd booing get to him. “If yall keep booing,” he says, “I will stop rapping completely.” How embarrassing. He should’ve just kept going. It’s not like he was being slaughtered or anything.

my rating : 2 of 5

video review : Ghostbusters

video review : Ghostbusters

The Ghostbusters are annoying. Peter’s deadpan humor is particularly eye-rolling, but none are as bad as a nerdy accountant who’s, at one point, possessed by a demon called The Keymaster.

This is a silly movie with a silly plot. The main problem is that it goes for comedy and isn’t funny, nor is it scary; a double whammy that serves as a virtual death sentence for a movie about ghosts.

my rating : 2 of 5

1984

My Infamous Life : The Autobiography Of Mobb Deep’s Prodigy ( book ) … Prodigy

My Infamous Life : The Autobiography Of Mobb Deep's Prodigy ( book ) ... Prodigy

I’m not a fan of Prodigy as a rapper. This book, an autobiography grammatically molded by Laura Checkoway, is better than his verses. That assumes everything portrayed here is the truth. It’s hard to tell. He cries over a girl, which even I consider a sucker move, but doesn’t fear fighting big dudes and getting shot at.

In either case, aside from him occasionally swaying from the story to express his thoughts on race and religion, it’s an interesting read. As far as the concept is concerned though, his life before becoming famous should’ve been limited to the prologue so that he could devote more of the book to the Infamous parts.

my rating : 4 of 5

2011

audio review : Calm Down ( song ) … Busta Rhymes ( featuring Eminem )

This song begins exactly like Jump Around by House Of Pain because the first six seconds is that song’s first six seconds. The sample continues in a stuttered loop, over boomy drums, but the decision to use it at all was a banal move on the part of producer Scoop DeVille. There wasn’t anything special about it in the first place.

For what it’s worth, Eminem helps connect the concept a bit by mentioning the House Of Pain song in his extra-long verse, which is about as verbose but more entertaining than Busta’s rhymes. It’s far (far) from his best, but the Abraham Lincoln, Wake-Up Show and Stan bits rival highlights from the (first/good) Marshall Mathers LP.

my rating : 3 of 5

2014

audio review : 7 Dee Jays ( song ) … KRS-One + Harmony + Heather B + Ms Melodie + Jamalski ( featuring D-Nice )

“It takes 7 Dee Jays to control a sound”, but it takes only six MCs to hold it down. This is perhaps the first and only true Boogie Down Productions song in the sense that it features vocals from every member. Then again, while the absence of Scott La Rock is excused; he died in 1987; Kenny Parker and D-Square, the latter of whom seems to have been in the studio during the recording process, are (also) represented via shoutout only.

An organized structure; equal chorus intervals and equal verse time; would make the song even better than it is. Though most of the lyrics were apparently composed in advance, it comes across as a freestyle rap session, especially when KRS-One and Jamalski do a reggae takeover near the end. The best part is the beat, which itself bounces about like a reggae groove. This song should’ve been officially included on the Edutainment album.

my rating : 4 of 5

1990

audio review : Blue Empire ( album ) … Trashlagoon

audio review : Blue Empire ( album ) ... Trashlagoon

As far as mellow night vibes go, Trashlagoon’s music; bassy electro beats fused with pianos and synth chords; is nearly perfect. Even when they add gay male falsettos, the melodies are groovy.

What the album would do conceptually better without are the two interludes and one of the two versions of Struggle, all of which serve as clunky additions to an otherwise majestic tracklist.

my rating : 4 of 5

2014

Reese’s Pieces

Reese's Pieces

I’m with ET on this one. Reese’s Pieces are a sweet treat; particularly for those of us who prefer the taste of peanut butter over chocolate, of which this candy has none. In that sense, they’re a perfect alternative to “M&M’s”.

my rating : 4 of 5

Real Medleys : Cherry Almond Pecan

Real Medleys : Cherry Almond Pecan

Cherry is one of my least favorite artificial fruit flavors. When it comes to candy and such, I’d pick almost any other over it. The cherries in this cereal; real pieces not dehydrated but seemingly sun-dried, thus chewy like raisins; don’t taste like that.

Dare I say they’re the best song in the mix. They’re certainly the sweetest. There are almonds, pecans, granola clusters and flakes also; the kind of flakes that don’t get soggy fast; which, with milk, makes for a hearty, relatively healthy, breakfast.

my rating : 5 of 5

audio review : Rebellion ( song ) … Linkin Park

All Linkin Park and music artists in general usually need to make a song good, as far as I’m concerned, is a catchy hook. This faux-rebel rock anthem, featuring guest Daron Malakian on guitar, is a shining example of that.

“We are the fortunate ones who’ve never faced impression’s gun,” Mike Shinoda sings. The melody only lasts 3 bars before the title chant comes; they should’ve repeated the “gun” bit; but it expands nicely near the end.

my rating : 4 of 5

2014

Hanes Cool Dri Performance Men’s Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

Hanes Cool Dri Performance Men's Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

I prefer to wear long sleeves when I go out, even in the summer, so a shirt like this is just right for me. It’s made of polyester, not cotton, in an interlocked jersey knit that wicks away moisture, so it makes your torso and arms less warm than most shirts. That means you probably shouldn’t wear it in cold winter weather unless perhaps you’re wearing it as an undershirt.

It doesn’t hold much odor, so it doesn’t necessarily need to be washed between every “Performance” and it doesn’t get too wrinkly, so it never really needs to be ironed; major pluses for busy (lazy) people like myself. I also love the fact that there are no visible tags or logos on the outside. The one drawback is that the fabric is thin enough to show the imprint of man nipples.

my rating : 5 of 5