Category: reviews

Alex And Me ( book ) … Irene Pepperberg

Alex And Me ( book ) ... Irene Pepperberg

Alex was a parrot; perhaps the most intelligent parrot to ever live; thanks to years of extensive training at the hands of his owner; scientist and animal cognition professor Irene Pepperberg. She, along with her team of researchers, taught the bird not only to talk but also to understand language and numerical concepts up to about the level of a five-year-old human, which opened doors to new study in the field. In a nutshell, what Alex showed the world is that “bird brain” isn’t such a disparaging term after all.

This book; a memoir; covers the thirty years Irene spent working with Alex without bogging readers down in scientific explanations. The learning experiments she conducted are covered in simple terms and, aside from a few irrelevant details regarding her career struggles, pages fly along fairly interestingly. What’s amazing if true, of course, are the little, often humorous, anecdotes of Alex and his intellectual antics; accounts of him doing things popular science says birds simply shouldn’t be able to do.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

Ball Park Franks

Ball Park Franks

These hot dogs are named after baseball park Tiger Stadium, but they taste just as delicious at home. They plump when you cook them, which causes the ends to split quicker than you might think, but that’s what gives them their juicy tender texture. Two on buns with ketchup, mayonnaise and Lay’s Classic potato chips on the side, ranks as one of the best-tasting meals I ever had.

my rating : 5 of 5

video review : Beyoncé : I Am [ World Tour ]

video review : Beyoncé : I Am [ World Tour ]

The best part about seeing Beyoncé in concert is her legs. She is sexy from head to toes; the urban prototype of a beautiful woman; and you might be surprised how cute her face is with little or no makeup, but it’s those legs that steal the show. And she knows it. So she wears skimpy outfits and exposes them to the world. Tina Turner, step aside. You’re too old. That spotlight right there is for Sasha Fierce.

The gay guys and most of the girls in the audience cheer her on for a different reason. They’re real fans, like of her music. So when she struts her stuff, a pretty loud-mouthed Diva oozing with charisma, they scream louder. Sometimes they even pass-out, à la Michael Jackson, but; while the Halo dedication, featuring a childhood clip of Beyoncé about to go to his concert, is touching; her music simply can’t compare.

I like her first solo album, Dangerously In Love, so this set starts off pretty good to me, but most of the newer songs leave a lot to be desired. I generally need catchy vocals in order to sing along, leaving it up to the visuals to entertain. That they do with quick edits and flashy stylizations. Say whatever you want about Beyoncé’s singing; I say she yells too much; you have to admit, she does put on quite a show.

my rating : 4 of 5

2010

Willa ( story ) … Stephen King

This story is best at the start as a man, stranded at a Wyoming train station with other derailed passengers, searches for his missing fiancée. Soon he wanders off into the darkness to look for her, despite the danger of being eaten by wolves or other creatures lurking in the night.

From there, a major revelation is revealed to both the reader and the character. That’s when the plot, which goes from mystery to folklore, starts to get silly. By the end, the title seems incomplete. The story is ultimately about a romantic bond between a woman and a man.

my rating : 2 of 5

2006

Willa ( story ) ... Stephen King

N ( story ) … Stephen King

The title is the first letter of a man’s name; a psychiatric patient who suffers from an extreme case of OCD. He fixates on counting, touching and ordering things; mundane objects like shoes and plates; in an effort to avoid odd numbers, which are a terrible thing, thus maintaining the order of the world. His mind didn’t always work that way, of course, and it’s how he got that way that gives the story its eerie undertone.

I like that it’s written not as a traditional narrative but a series of case notes, news articles, personal letters and emails from the perspective of four characters who ultimately have a lot in common. What I don’t like is that most of those manuscripts ramble on with meticulous detail in signature Stephen King fashion. In the end, it’s a novella that, though interesting, could’ve been much better if it were more concise.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

N ( story ) ... Stephen King

video review : The Strangers

video review : The Strangers

You’re not always safe at home. That’s the lesson here. It’s a story about home invasion as a trio of masked killers visit the summer house of James and Kristen, a couple romantically involved but unmarried. It’s almost morning but still dark. If there are neighbors within screaming range, they’re probably asleep. It’s a terrific setting for a horror movie.

That horror begins interestingly enough but stalls itself all the way to the end. The killers seem to realize they’re in a movie, so they play around with their victims, appearing then disappearing, in what seems like a collaborative effort to stall time. It’s an effective technique at first; loud knocks are scary at night; but the threat wears thin after a while.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

video review : Malcolm X

video review : Malcolm X

If this Spike Lee Joint, which plays as a neutral biography for three hours before suddenly transitioning into a propaganda piece, presents an accurate portrayal of Malcolm X, I don’t think his legacy deserves celebration. His mission, to lift the social oppression of the black race, was a commendable one. Racism, primarily by white people toward black people, which remains an issue today, was even more of a problem during his lifetime; the end of which happened to coincide with the end of The Civil Rights Movement; but he too was a racist. He was a brainwashed follower of The Honorable Elijah Muhammad, The Nation Of Islam and all their anti-white philosophies for a long time.

That Malcolm X may have began to shed his bias during his final chapters; it wasn’t until he made his pilgrimage to Mecca that he realized not all white people are devils; isn’t good enough. Accurate or not, Spike Lee has done a remarkable job of visually depicting the life of a man I may not have otherwise cared enough to learn about, but the man we’re supposed to be praising comes across as not much more than a buffoon. As educated as he is when it comes to the English language; he studied every word in “the white man’s” dictionary; he doesn’t seem to be much of a thinker in the way of general logic; the kind Martin Luther King had that says you can’t end racism with racism.

my rating : 4 of 5

1992

Angelina Jolie’s physical appearance

Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance

She’s considered by many to be one of the most beautiful celebrities when it comes to physical appearance, but I’m not one of those people. She’s not an ugly woman by any means; she might even look better when she’s not hiding her face under makeup; but she’s far from the most beautiful. Her collagen-like lips are actually a minor flaw to me. The dent is distracting. She does have some sexy cat eyes.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : The Block Brochure [ Welcome To The Soil ] ( albums ) … E-40

If E-40 keeps this up, he’s on his way to becoming the most prolific rapper ever. He released the Revenue Retrievin set, about eighty songs on four albums, in 2010 and 2011. Now’s he’s up to three albums at once with this new Block Brochure. “Welcome To The Soil,” the cover page reads, but there’s a hint of sarcasm because; while there is plenty of pussy to fuck, Mary Jane to smoke and alcohol to drink; it seems there’s more bad than good happening in the slums of San Francisco’s Bay Area. “Just the other day,” he informs us, “a little baby got hit with a stray.”

E-40 isn’t just another careless thug. He’s a moral-minded rapper with a lot of street wisdom or “game” as he prefers to call it. That often comes out in his lyrics. He’s also sort of funny; at one point, he admits to once wanting to be a professional comedian; so the best parts of these albums are his verses, which manage to outshine most of his guests. A notable exception to that includes the long-awaited return of a Spice 1 collaboration. “You send some niggas at me,” The Eastbay Gangsta warns on The Other Day Ago, “I’ll eat them and scrap the plate up.”

While the verses are the strong point; along with the beats, which have gotten increasingly better since the depopularization of the Bay Area’s musically atrocious Hyphy Movement; the hooks are generally weak. Of course that’s the case with every E-40 album and most rap albums in general. What this three-volume set needs is to be condensed down to one; let’s say twelve of its best songs. That could, and probably would, make it E-40’s best album so far. As is, there are simply too many mill runs to sift thru in order to get to standouts like Pussy Loud.

The songs are only occasionally wack. One of the worst is In This Thang Breh, featuring Turf Talk and Mistah FAB. And that’s not because the hook sounds like they’re saying, “We into stank breath,” which would be at least funny. It’s because the beat, led by an annoying siren loop panned to the left, is a throw-away. The Jealous beat, on the other hand, which could almost pass for a Dr Dre production, is a definite keeper. “I’m in a class by myself,” he boasts. And that might not be too far from the truth. But you wouldn’t know by listening to these three albums.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : MDNA ( album ) … Madonna

audio review : MDNA ( album ) ... Madonna

“MDNA” is a clumsy abbreviation, but Madonna already made a self-titled album and I don’t think this one has any connection to that one, so as bad of an idea as it was in 1983 when self-titled debuts were commonplace, it’s even worse now. Surely after Hard Candy; a title both sweet and fitting; she could’ve come-up with something better.

The good thing is that, with the exception of two features from pop music’s most annoying rapper; Nicki Minaj; the album’s title is the worst part. The songs are typical Madonna, which isn’t bad. I didn’t say it was good; her teenage melodies are rarely catchy and her lyrics are consistently trite; but it’s not bad, mainly because of the beats.

The “Queen” of pop has a thing for electronic dance music. That’s what I like about her. She surrounds herself with producers like William Orbit and the Benassi Bros. They provide her with music that pops and flares with thumpy drums, pulsating bass and snazzy synths. So it’s not hard to block out lead vocals if necessary and just groove to the music.

The album’s most riveting moment comes at the end of Gang Bang, which isn’t about what you might think. Madonna has kids now. She’s not nearly as erotic as she used to be; at least not in public; but she can still shock. “Now if you’re gonna act like a bitch,” she says, while holding a gun to her lover’s head, “then you’re gonna die like a bitch.”

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

Edy’s Slow Churned Rich And Creamy Ice Cream : Vanilla Bean

Edy's Slow Churned Rich And Creamy Ice Cream

It’s “light” because it has less fat and fewer calories than “regular” ice cream, but don’t be dismayed because it’s about as tasty as any other vanilla bean ice cream on the market. What’s distinct is the texture, which is both rich and creamy, as advertised, with an almost French vanilla vibe.

my rating : 4 of 5