They stopped numbering them, but make no mistake about it; this is Halloween 6. Perhaps 666 is more accurate. As the Curse word implies, the religious anti-Christ undertone of the story; remember Michael Myers has been Evil since the beginning; has taken over and now it’s sillier than ever. There’s a funny bit involving a radio show early on, but this entry is mostly awful.
my rating : 1 of 5
1995
![video review : Halloween 3 [ Season Of The Witch ]](https://marcellee.com/posts/76894.jpg)
What the hell is this? It certainly isn’t a Halloween movie. The main character, a doctor named Daniel, watches one on TV. I guess that’s supposed to be the link. What a ruse. The plot has nothing to do with the 1978 original, which might not be so bad if it weren’t so stupid. Michael Myers is replaced with killer androids in business suits.
my rating : 1 of 5
1982
They call this a cocktail, but there’s no alcohol in it. There may as well be. I don’t think it could make the taste much worse. It’s Sea Salt And Clam, more sea salt than clam, which tastes about as disgusting as it sounds.
I don’t like anything salty. A hint can be nice, but I never put salt on anything and opt for saltless items at the grocery store. That’s the problem. This drink, juiced from sweet potatoes and tomatoes, is too salty.
my rating : 1 of 5
AMANDA MURPHY :
You don’t like anything salty but you bought a product called “SEA SALT and Clam”?
Record companies are all about making money, Liz implies, even at the expense of their own artists, but her point is lost in the wackiness of this song, which sounds more like an experimental skit of sorts.
There are crazy sounds mixed in for comical effect, but none of it works. Perhaps it’s intentionally bad. Maybe she wants to never get signed to a label again. If that’s the case, she’s on the right track.
my rating : 1 of 5
2010
There’s nothing wonderful about Tim Burton’s adaption of Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, a fantasy novel by Lewis Carroll. It’s one of the most popular children’s stories American culture has to offer. I remember attending a stage play version of it in elementary school. I don’t remember it being this bad.
This is a movie without a clear plot. The visuals; the costumes and set designs that make-up Wonderland; are artsy and imaginative. That’s something a Tim Burton presentation basically guarantees. The story, however, which lands a girl named Alice in an impossible dreamworld of sorts, fails to captivate or intrigue.
The characterization is even worse. I especially hate the incredibly annoying Mad Hatter and the cringe-inducing Futterwacken dance he does, which an otherwise likeable Alice mimics near the end. It’s just stupid and pointless as is the whole movie. Shame on Tim Burton for ruining my childhood memories.
my rating : 1 of 5
2010
Andrew J. Holliday :
“It’s one of the most popular children’s stories American culture has to offer.”
American culture? Alice in Wonderland? American? Like that other US classic, The Wind in the Willows….
The set-up is interesting. A paranormal investigator named Mike Enslin receives an anonymous postcard in the mail about a particular room in New York City’s Dolphin Hotel. All the card says is “Don’t Enter 1408”. So, of course, he goes to the city and books an overnight reservation.
There’s a satisfyingly spooky scene featuring the hotel manager. He warns the man that the room is “evil”, begs him not to stay and talks as if he knows he’s in a Stephen King story. The plot falls apart from there, to the floor of horrid randomness, and keeps getting worse until checkout.
my rating : 1 of 5
2007
The title is only half true. The stories of this Stephen King collection are indeed dark in nature; the set is bookended by tales of bloody spousal murder; but there are stars. It’s just that they’re normal people. They’re people who kill and harm other people, yes, but the author does his best to justify their actions by providing a method to their madness. Are his justifications successful? Not usually. There’s only one story in which I think the protagonist is justified and that’s the rape victim who seeks revenge on her Big Driver attacker. But their sides of the story are told. That’s the point.
It’s unfortunate those stories aren’t presented in a more interesting manner. The underlying concepts spark real suspense in the build-up, even the ridiculous Fair Extension, but the way Stephen King drones on and on in meticulous descriptions and backstory is more than enough to kill it. He’s an excellent writer when it comes to using words to tell a story, yes; possibly one of the best; but these stories lack anything interesting beyond that. There’s nothing clever or witty about them. No artistic depth. They’re just told. That might’ve been okay if the process weren’t so redundant.
The best parts of the Big Driver and 1922 stories; the rape and murder that should be their ending peaks; come closer to the beginning. After that, the plots just ramble along in boring epilogue. A Good Marriage gets the structure right, but the peak is unrealistic given everything that came before it. The normal caring protagonist, like the one in Big Driver, suddenly becomes as vicious as the man she’s up against. In this case though, it’s not a matter of retaliation, so her motive doesn’t make much sense. Not that it matters in the end. By that point, you’re just happy it’s all over.
my rating : 1 of 5
2010
Stephen King is in this show. He plays a retard; an appropriate metaphor considering he also wrote the screenplay. It’s a comic book anthology of five relatively short stories that are supposed to be scary or at least spine-tingling creepy, but come across as just plain bad.
Forget the horrible acting and laughable visual effects. The plots themselves, created by King at his hackiest, yes, but directed by the same George Romero who brought us the classic Night Of The Living Dead, are about as stupid as it gets. Attend this one at your own risk.
my rating : 1 of 5
1982
With all its outrageousness, The Hangover, about four guys on a bachelor party trip to Las Vegas, is short on laughs. I laughed once, when the fat jail-tour kid was about to take a photo of the fiancée’s brother, and smiled a few times. That’s it. The rest of the script is hack city, not amusing in the least, as hard as it tries to be, and the wandering plot isn’t interesting enough to make-up for that fact.
It’s all about what happens during the trip, much of which none of the guys can remember. They awake in their hotel room on their first morning in Vegas, the place is wrecked, there’s a tiger in the bathroom and one of the four guys, the bachelor, is missing. It’s a lazy plot device that allows for random wackiness that doesn’t have to be explained as the three try to piece together what happened the night before.
my rating : 1 of 5
2009
I’m posting this review on “11-11-11” because that’s the official release date of the movie. Not to follow its ideology that sets of the number eleven, as in a digital clock displaying eleven minutes after eleven o-clock, holds any significant meaning. It’s a superstitious (retarded) aspect of numerology that creeps upon the life of an atheist named Joseph Crone after the death of his wife and kid.
He awakes at 11:11. When he checks his watch, it’s 11:11. I bet when he gets gas, the clerk gives him eleven dollars and eleven cent in change. Sets of eleven have become the fabric of his life. It’s when those numbers start to bring him bad luck that things start to get creepy. At one point, he gets into a car accident. His friend yells for someone to “Call 911!” Nine, one and one equals eleven.
The premise might work for a comedy or mythical fantasy, but 11-11-11, which goes for horror and suspense, presents it as something real, which is ridiculous. Not that a movie like this has to be logical to be interesting or entertaining. It doesn’t. But this illogical movie is neither. It is, however, one of the worst I’ve ever had the displeasure of watching. Here’s another 1 to add to the mix:
my rating : 1 of 5
2011