Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]

video review : Freddy's Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]

While the series never managed to produce a good movie, this Final Nightmare comes back full circle to the decency of the first. The main difference is that this one takes itself less seriously as if it knows the franchise has descended into an illogical mess. It eases on the scares to allow itself to have some campy fun.

Freddy Krueger; “son of a hundred maniacs”; is almost entertaining as he cracks one bad wisecrack after another like a washed-up comedian who laughs at his own jokes because no one else will. He still knows how to kill kids in interesting ways though; listen for the hearing aid scene; and there’s actually a decent plot.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy’s Revenge ]

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy's Revenge ]

This is an improvement over part 1, but not by much. It relies more on close dialogue and careful pacing than bloody thrills and cheap scares, but, even without Wes Craven around to blame, it doesn’t result in anything more than standard slasher flick fare. By the end, when Krueger is in a psychophysical tug of war with a guy who’s been unwillingly recruited to kill for him, it actually gets kind of silly.

my rating : 3 of 5

1985

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 [ Dream Warriors ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 [ The Dream Master ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 [ The Dream Child ]
video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]
video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street

A horror flick about a dead man who kills people in their dreams is an interesting concept, but rather than offering up an interesting narrative, director Wes Craven presents his boogieman almost on the strength of that idea alone. “He wears a weird hat and a red and green sweater,” says the girl with the overbite, “and he uses these knives like giant fingernails.”

It’s mostly to annoy us with the screeching sound they make when he slides them against metallic surfaces before slashing some kid to death. His name is Fred Krueger; the guy from “that old jump-rope song”. After being burned alive by parents angry because he avoided a murder sentence on a technicality, he’s back from the flames of Hell to continue his wrath of terror.

my rating : 3 of 5

1984

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy’s Revenge ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 [ Dream Warriors ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 [ The Dream Master ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 [ The Dream Child ]
video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]
video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips : Original [ 40% Less Fat ]

Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips : Original [ 40% Less Fat ]

These are Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips made with “an extra spin in the kettle to remove excess oil for 40% Less Fat”. They’re supposedly “just as delicious as our classic chip”, but they’re not delicious. They’re harder, less crisp, than you’d expect; a matter made worse by the fact that they tend to come crumpled together, giving you no choice but to eat two or three at a time.

my rating : 3 of 5

Bang : Swirly Pop

Bang : Swirly Pop

This doesn’t taste like any Swirly Pop I’ve ever had. As far as Bang names go, it’s one of the most inaccurate. The flavor is more akin to some kind of fruit; Papaya Pop would’ve been more fitting; though the can makes sure to inform drinkers it “contains no fruit juice”. Neither is there sugar added; it actually includes an impressive amount of vitamins; which makes it healthier than candy.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : The Ultimate Fighter [ Team McGregor Versus Team Chandler ]

video review : The Ultimate Fighter [ Team McGregor Versus Team Chandler ]

The most interesting parts of this show are the Fights themselves. Perhaps that’s a given, but, aside from star Conor McGregor and his antics, they’re also the only interesting parts. They come near the end of each episode as the Team members compete for a UFC contract; Chandler, though less of a personality, has better coaching skills; but (too) much of the time is spent on their mundane lives and families.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023

video review : Chris Weidman versus Brad Tavares at UFC 292

video review : Chris Weidman versus Brad Tavares at UFC 292

This loss wouldn’t be so bad if Chris Weidman wasn’t so delusional during the promo interviews, claiming to be in his “prime” and such. He’s never looked worse. Whether that has more to do with him coming back from a devastating leg break, “ring rust” or the fact that he’s nearly 40 years old is the question. Brad Tavares and his leg kicks; how crazy would it be if he broke his kicking Weidman; also come into play.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023

audio review : Into The Future ( album ) … MC Rell And The Houserockers

audio review : Into The Future ( album ) ... MC Rell And The Houserockers

The title song makes sense at the beginning, but it also makes past reference to My Vision, which comes later in the set. That contradiction, rather the fact that one of the two weren’t excluded, serves as the album’s one major flaw, at least as far as this nitpicker is concerned. It’s a decent rap album otherwise. Highlights include Life Of An Entertainer and Hole In My Pocket.

my rating : 3 of 5

1989

Bang : Candy Apple Crisp

Bang : Candy Apple Crisp

This really does taste like a Candy Apple. I prefer the caramel ones, but it’s a sweet treat nonetheless. The only drawback is the one that flaws most Bangs and energy drinks in general; the carbonation. Imagine how much better these drinks would be if not for the grimace-inducing sting.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Good Versus Evil ( song ) … Bass 305 + Bass Mekanik

This would be Good if the angelic piano chorus, the murmurs of which conjure Does Life Exist On This Planet, weren’t abandoned halfway in. It’s a beautiful bit that should’ve been looped to no end or at least brought back near the end. As is, the song seems anticlimactic; unfinished even.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

audio review : Bass Resurrection ( album ) ... Bass 305

audio review : Deli ( song ) … Ice Spice

Why Ice Spice insists on shaking her ass in a Deli à la Lizzo as opposed to a dance club is anyone’s guess, but the beat is a banger. It better be because the rapper’s vocals, specifically her borderline-retarded voice and delivery, leave a lot to be desired. Her looks leave little. She’s a “baddie” and knows it as she bends over to show the boys a glimpse of her cold cuts.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023

Bang : Krazy Key Lime Pie

Bang : Krazy Key Lime Pie

These Bang drinks have cool quirky names, but most are disappointingly hyperbolic; this one being a prime example. There’s a hint of Lime (Skittles) at first sip, but it doesn’t taste like Key Lime Pie. Neither is there anything Krazy about it, though it might have you acting that way once the 300 milligrams of caffeine takes effect.

my rating : 3 of 5