This is supposed to taste like Gummy Bears. It sort of does, but not enough to warrant the namesake. Speaking of which, as far as energy drinks go, it’s far from the “Greatest of all time”, though the can suggests the acronym actually refers to the quintessential drinker; the Muhammad Alis and Michael Jordans of the sports world.
my rating : 3 of 5
This Rockstar Energy Drink tastes like Smarties; the candy. That’s despite the fact that it’s Sugar Free. If that bit has to do with health, the sucralose added in its place probably isn’t much better. There are also 160 milligrams of caffeine, which, according to the can, “provides feelings of increased alertness and reduced tiredness for up to 5 hours.”
my rating : 3 of 5
This “limited edition” G Fuel Energy Drink is based on Crash Bandicoot 4. It’s About Time goes the subtitle, but it’s mostly about promotion as the drink was apparently created for the sole purpose of advertising the game. The flavor is Wumpa Fruit, appropriately enough, which is actually a fun apple mango blend.
my rating : 3 of 5
Beetlejuice is supposed to be funny. It occasionally is; “I’ve been feeling a little flat”, says a man who looks like he was killed by a steamroller; but the nonstop jokes, led by its title comedian slash “bio-exorcist”, are mostly corny. The two lip-synced song/dance scenes; easily the worst parts of the movie; are downright cringey. A moderately entertaining plot, about a dead married couple trying to scare a family out of their house, lies (buried) underneath.
my rating : 3 of 5
1988
If the cover art reminds you of a Tribe Called Quest album, there’s a reason for that. Every song here, rather its music, is produced by frontman Q-Tip. That makes this the most sonically cohesive and thoroughly hip-hop LL Cool album since Marley’s Marl’s Mama Said Knock You Out. The rapper is still a Force to be reckoned with. Best songs include Saturday Night Special and Black Code Suite.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
This is a frustrating listen. The chorus, with its background harmonization, sounds awesome; it’s one of the band’s best; but it doesn’t happen enough. It goes once on the first break, twice on the second and three times on the third, but it should be two, two and four. The rest of the song is well below par. I hate the way Michael Stipe says “Give me some”, though it’s cool how Mills drags that bit out at the end.
my rating : 3 of 5
2008
The cover photo has Tinashe looking like a dirty ho, appropriately enough. This set; the second of a proposed trilogy she should’ve saved for one proper album; is mostly about sex. She speaks of romantic (Baby) “love”, but it comes down to “the dick”; albeit No Broke Boys; and probably some pussy given her LGB tendencies. “I’ve been a Nasty girl,” she confesses, or brags, and I’m all for it. Call me Thirsty and you’ll be a day late.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
Ellen Page is indeed “pretty” as Sylvia Likens; a lot prettier than the girl her character is based on. The broad title doesn’t do her justice. This is a story of not just An American Crime but domestic abuse blatant and extreme enough to reach levels of maudlinism. The plot seems improbable; family and friends joining together to beat and torture one frail teenage girl; but it’s actually whitewashed. The real-life accusations are even worse.
my rating : 3 of 5
2007
Professor X is the one who keeps calling people sissies, but it’s rapper Brother J, with his intellectual diction, who comes across as a teacher. His Lessons, which consist mostly of racial (racist) pro-Black/anti-white bigotry, are debatable to say the least, but the music, which relies heavily on 1970s/1980s soul samples, is Funkin. The best songs are the two with the word Verb in them.
my rating : 3 of 5
1990
This is supposed to be the new Rakim album; his first in a long time; but it doesn’t sound like it. His Rebirth comes across as more of a posthumous project, which is odd because the God Emcee, unlike some of the guests featured here, didn’t die. Still every one of these “Se7en” songs is a collab with at least two other rappers.
The best among them is Chino XL who kills everyone figuratively, and literally via bomb at verse’s end, on a cypher that would’ve been better with no hook. I like Sally Green on the Love song though. DMX sounds stupid on Playground. Rakim can still rap. Too bad he didn’t decide to release a proper (solo) album after all these years.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
Sir Mix-A-Lot is the Mack Daddy; “the man with the game” when it comes to luring sexy females with his ghetto glitz. The title theme is the best song. Baby Got Back; an ode to black girls with big butts; is another. The Boss Is Back; the worst song; should’ve started the album though. The order is a bit odd. It begins with a story about crooked cops and ends with a political rant against gun control.
my rating : 3 of 5
1992
This isn’t really a Twister sequel; more of a conceptual remake. The plot revolves (ferociously) around a storm chaser/tracker named Kate. She’s eventually saving the day while her two leading hunks hunker in fear; one of many eye-rollingly unrealistic clichés. The movie is fun enough on the whole, but it never lets you forget you’re watching a movie; a cash grab that speaks out against people “profiting off of” others. The irony.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
