I was sitting in the driver’s seat of the parked car as she; a real-life former roommate of mine; talked with her best friend outside. They were several feet away, but I could hear their conversation as she jokingly told her friend how annoying her voice was. It was at that point that, as I tried to adjust the rearview mirror to see them, the whole thing fell.

I don’t know whose janky car it was, hers or mine, but I was able to get a glance of her friend for the first time. I could tell she was light-skinned. My girlfriend was dark. That’s the first anomaly because I prefer my girls light, like her friend, and almost never date dark ones. The second and biggest anomaly is that I probably wouldn’t date this girl in particular.

She’s short and petite, which I like, so her looks would be fine if not for her skin tone, but her personality is a major turn-off. She’s the loud and ghetto type of black girl with emphasis on the word “loud”. Her voice is also annoying, gratingly so. That little comment she made about her friend’s took some audacity, which I told her when she came back to the car.

“You can’t talk about somebody’s voice being annoying,” I said, loud enough for her friend to hear, as she, standing just outside the door, handed me thru the window a slice of cake; it had nuts on it; on what seemed like a sheet of paper towel or napkin. The cake was a favorite she’d been getting from this place; I guess a local bakery; and wanted me to try.

It was tilted on the napkin, so she told me, in a stern tone as if I were a child, not to drop it. She said to hold it straight, which I did. Her bossiness is another reason I probably wouldn’t date her in real life. That same trait could be a major turn-on in the bedroom though when it comes to sadomasochistic sex fetishes, hence the word “probably”.

“They gave me this too,” she said as she showed me a small piece of the same cake on a separate napkin, “but it’s not really a lot though.” She said that last bit matter-of-factly with an almost Spanish accent. She also showed me the cotton candy she bought, which I wanted to taste more than the cake, as I pondered her getting diabetes from all that sugar.

2023 October 01