Category: reviews

audio review : Calm Down ( song ) … Busta Rhymes ( featuring Eminem )

This song begins exactly like Jump Around by House Of Pain because the first six seconds is that song’s first six seconds. The sample continues in a stuttered loop, over boomy drums, but the decision to use it at all was a banal move on the part of producer Scoop DeVille. There wasn’t anything special about it in the first place.

For what it’s worth, Eminem helps connect the concept a bit by mentioning the House Of Pain song in his extra-long verse, which is about as verbose but more entertaining than Busta’s rhymes. It’s far (far) from his best, but the Abraham Lincoln, Wake-Up Show and Stan bits rival highlights from the (first/good) Marshall Mathers LP.

my rating : 3 of 5

2014

audio review : 7 Dee Jays ( song ) … KRS-One + Harmony + Heather B + Ms Melodie + Jamalski ( featuring D-Nice )

“It takes 7 Dee Jays to control a sound”, but it takes only six MCs to hold it down. This is perhaps the first and only true Boogie Down Productions song in the sense that it features vocals from every member. Then again, while the absence of Scott La Rock is excused; he died in 1987; Kenny Parker and D-Square, the latter of whom seems to have been in the studio during the recording process, are (also) represented via shoutout only.

An organized structure; equal chorus intervals and equal verse time; would make the song even better than it is. Though most of the lyrics were apparently composed in advance, it comes across as a freestyle rap session, especially when KRS-One and Jamalski do a reggae takeover near the end. The best part is the beat, which itself bounces about like a reggae groove. This song should’ve been officially included on the Edutainment album.

my rating : 4 of 5

1990

audio review : Blue Empire ( album ) … Trashlagoon

audio review : Blue Empire ( album ) ... Trashlagoon

As far as mellow night vibes go, Trashlagoon’s music; bassy electro beats fused with pianos and synth chords; is nearly perfect. Even when they add gay male falsettos, the melodies are groovy.

What the album would do conceptually better without are the two interludes and one of the two versions of Struggle, all of which serve as clunky additions to an otherwise majestic tracklist.

my rating : 4 of 5

2014

Reese’s Pieces

Reese's Pieces

I’m with ET on this one. Reese’s Pieces are a sweet treat; particularly for those of us who prefer the taste of peanut butter over chocolate, of which this candy has none. In that sense, they’re a perfect alternative to “M&M’s”.

my rating : 4 of 5

Real Medleys : Cherry Almond Pecan

Real Medleys : Cherry Almond Pecan

Cherry is one of my least favorite artificial fruit flavors. When it comes to candy and such, I’d pick almost any other over it. The cherries in this cereal; real pieces not dehydrated but seemingly sun-dried, thus chewy like raisins; don’t taste like that.

Dare I say they’re the best song in the mix. They’re certainly the sweetest. There are almonds, pecans, granola clusters and flakes also; the kind of flakes that don’t get soggy fast; which, with milk, makes for a hearty, relatively healthy, breakfast.

my rating : 5 of 5

audio review : Rebellion ( song ) … Linkin Park

All Linkin Park and music artists in general usually need to make a song good, as far as I’m concerned, is a catchy hook. This faux-rebel rock anthem, featuring guest Daron Malakian on guitar, is a shining example of that.

“We are the fortunate ones who’ve never faced impression’s gun,” Mike Shinoda sings. The melody only lasts 3 bars before the title chant comes; they should’ve repeated the “gun” bit; but it expands nicely near the end.

my rating : 4 of 5

2014

Hanes Cool Dri Performance Men’s Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

Hanes Cool Dri Performance Men's Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

I prefer to wear long sleeves when I go out, even in the summer, so a shirt like this is just right for me. It’s made of polyester, not cotton, in an interlocked jersey knit that wicks away moisture, so it makes your torso and arms less warm than most shirts. That means you probably shouldn’t wear it in cold winter weather unless perhaps you’re wearing it as an undershirt.

It doesn’t hold much odor, so it doesn’t necessarily need to be washed between every “Performance” and it doesn’t get too wrinkly, so it never really needs to be ironed; major pluses for busy (lazy) people like myself. I also love the fact that there are no visible tags or logos on the outside. The one drawback is that the fabric is thin enough to show the imprint of man nipples.

my rating : 5 of 5

audio review : Me : I Am Mariah : The Elusive Chanteuse ( album ) … Mariah Carey

audio review : Me : I Am Mariah : The Elusive Chanteuse ( album ) ... Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey’s voice is raspier than it used to be, but that’s okay because it’s barely noticeable until she gets loud. Besides, she’s over 40 and even the best voices generally start to degrade at around that age. What isn’t forgivable is the clunky title of this album, which reads more like 3 she couldn’t decide on. I would’ve picked the third. Not that a fancy title can compensate for mediocre music.

Meteorite sort of soars, but most of these songs lack the (melodic) charisma of her early stuff. The worst moments are the annoying ones. I understand why she and other pop divas (cough-Beyoncé-cough) think it’s cute to hear their kids voices on their songs, but I don’t get why they think other people will want to hear them. Wale is almost as bad and the Fabolous feature has too much Fabolous on it.

my rating : 3 of 5

2014

audio review : House Rules ( mixtape ) … Slaughterhouse

audio review : House Rules ( mixtape ) ... Slaughterhouse

The Slaughterhouse dwellers are good rappers. Even annoying Joel Ortiz has bars. Listen to how he introduces the group on the album’s first four. This is better than their last album. They should’ve saved some of the songs for their next one.

When they’re not bragging and boasting, the group has an emo-like tendency to express solemn emotions; Crooked I even takes a moment to talk to his dead aunt; but my only major complaint about this mixtape is the lack of strong (catchy) hooks.

my rating : 3 of 5

2014

audio review : Turning Point ( EP ) … EMC

audio review : Turning Point ( EP ) … EMC

Masta Ace has been doing the skit thing for a while. He should stop. It’s a lame idea that does little more than bring his albums down. This EMC group release qualifies as an EP; not the official follow-up to their Show album, which is said to come later this year; but it’s no exception. The skits, most of which consist of Superbowl phone dialogue about the group’s return via Penalty Records, aren’t funny or particularly interesting. And there are seven; one before and after every song.

The rappers, with the exception of a weak Punchline; EMC really would be a lot stronger without him; are still nice as far as skills go, so the songs are best during their verses. Masta Ace uses a lot of lazy similes; hopefully he’s saving his best rhymes for the full album; but all three (MCs) are consistently better than average. The hooks, two of which are based on silly kid chants; the “monkey” bit on Sweet Potato Fries irks me almost as much as the Charly Murphie shout; don’t fare as well.

my rating : 2 of 5

2014

audio review : The Breakdown ( song ) … Prince

It starts like a Janet Jackson song from the 1980s, but this Prince ballad, which seems to be about a woman, builds into a bit of a powerhouse. The best part is when he starts doing his signature ad-libs over the final chorus section. “You keep breaking me down,” he shrieks in that gay falsetto.

It’s a classic Prince moment reminiscent of his livelier Purple Rain days. The song should end as soon as that section is over, at about 3:26, but it goes to about four minutes. The “The” also makes the title seem trite, but such complaints aren’t enough to break the song down aesthetically.

my rating : 4 of 5

2014

audio review : Art Official Age ( album ) ... Prince

video review : Wolf Creek 2

video review : Wolf Creek 2

It’s not as good as part 1; horror sequels rarely are; but it’s not too far behind. Mick Taylor is still serial killing, which makes Australia’s Wolf Creek Crater a deathtrap for clueless tourists. No cute girls this time; the main victim is a guy and the one girl before him looks like Alanis Morissette; but there is suspense in the plot, which, during one stretch, brings to mind Steven Spielberg’s Duel. Watch for flying kangaroos.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013 | 2014