Category: reviews

audio review : Everything I Thought It Was ( album ) … Justin Timberlake

audio review : Everything I Thought It Was ( album ) ... Justin Timberlake

Is this “great new JT album” Everything I Thought It Was going to be? Basically yes. A decent; nowhere near great; soul croon set with perhaps a few good songs is what I’ve come to expect from Justin Timberlake and that’s exactly what this is. He’s still romancing the girls with declarations of Love; the conceptual crutch for his genre of choice; and calling up Timbaland to make beats. Listen for the producer’s inept vocal ad-libs.

The reason Justin Timberlake never reached; again nowhere near; the level of Michael Jackson; his most obvious comparison in regard to career trajectory; to my ears is that his songs just don’t pop. Never mind his lack of stylistic flair. All it would take to make this album good, maybe even “great”, are better melodies, specifically at the choruses where it matters. The best here in that regard include Conditions, No Angels and Selfish.

my rating : 3 of 5

2024

Blue Bunny Twist Cones : Strawberry Cheesecake

Blue Bunny Twist Cones : Strawberry Cheesecake

Even as a kid, I’ve always preferred my ice cream in a cup rather than a cone; despite the fact that you can’t eat the cup, at least not without getting what I assume would be a major bellyache. These Blue Bunny Twist Cones are no exception. The actual sugar cones taste okay enough, but they don’t mesh with the “frozen dairy dessert”, which, though I wish it were more Cheesecake than Strawberry, is pretty good.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : UFC 299

video review : UFC 299

As far as main card schedules go, UFC 299 is better than 300. Both are exceptional, but the Zhang Weili title bout is a weak link and I looked forward to every fight on 299. They mostly deliver. Petr Yan starts it off on the good foot and ends his partly undeserved losing streak; he beat O’Malley; by defeating Song Yadong.

Jack Della Maddalena, though less dominant, comes off even more impressively with a Hail Mary knockout victory over Gilbert Burns. Kevin Holland versus Michael Page; the fight I anticipated the most beside the main event; ends up being a bit of a letdown as Holland loses handily not via knockout but decision.

The biggest winner of the night, aside from Donald Trump; the most popular attendee judging by crowd reaction; is Dustin Poirier. He knocks out tough guy Benoît Saint Denis in a hard-fought battle, proving he’s “still got it”. The biggest loser is Marlon Vera who’s simply outclassed by champion Sean O’Malley.

my rating : 4 of 5

2024

video review : UFC 300

audio review : The Movie ( song ) … Too Short ( featuring George Clinton + Belita Woods )

“It ain’t the kind of Movie where the leading man gets the girl,” George Clinton announces at the four-minute mark. It’s presented as a single ad-lib, but it should’ve been looped as the base of the chorus. The beat is funky, but the one thing missing from the song is a catchy hook. The “broadway” bit sounds nice, but it serves as more of a refrain.

my rating : 3 of 5

2002

audio review : In A Major Way ( album ) … E-40

audio review : In A Major Way ( album ) ... E-40

Listen to Da Bumble. It’s one long verse and it showcases just how unique E-40 is when it comes to rapping. It’s not really a matter of substance. His ghetto gab isn’t particularly clever or witty. It’s how he says what he says; his flamboyant flow and slangy style; that makes it both funny and addictive.

E-40 is the dope boy, after all, providing street drugs to the masses. This album offers back-to-back fixes until about halfway when the quality suddenly drops, mostly due to weak hooks. That’s when you start to realize that, though better than his Federal debut, it would’ve been better as another EP.

my rating : 4 of 5

1995

audio review : With A Little Help From My Friends ( song ) … Joe Cocker

Joe Cocker is no Friend of The Beatles. He took their song, revamped it and outclassed them to the point where they may as well stop performing it and pretend it was for him all along. Cocker’s version is both a melodic and sonic improvement thanks to the musical liberties taken not only by him but producer Denny Cordell. The two transform what was once a simple ditty into a soulful rock anthem.

my rating : 5 of 5

1968

audio review : 2000 Watts ( song ) … Michael Jackson

There seems to be a conceptual conflict with this being both a “dance” anthem and music to blast in your car at “high speed”; it would be hard to do both at once; but the main issue is the deepening effect on the lead vocals. It’s an artistic decision that, on an official Michael Jackson song, borders blasphemy.

The cut; literally the missing title song cut from Tyrese’s newest album, oddly enough; starts in the middle (mediocre) lane but soon reaches “the next level” as Michael Jackson puts you in the groove. It’s his ad-libs during the peak that boost it. The beat, whether you’re driving or dancing to it, is also a banger.

my rating : 4 of 5

2001

audio review : Invincible ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

audio review : The Blueprint 2 [ The Gift And The Curse ] ( album ) … Jay-Z

This isn’t only better than the original Blueprint, it’s also Jay-Z’s best album. That’s not really saying much. The rapper is vastly overrated. There are nonetheless a surprising amount of good songs here; enough to fill a single album, which is what this should’ve been. Instead it’s 2 in one; The Gift And The Curse.

I prefer The Gift. That’s where most of the best songs are, including a sequel to Dr Dre’s Watcher that’s even better than the original. It starts with perhaps Jay-Z’s best verse as he outshines even “the great Rakim himself”. Poppin Tags and Excuse Me Miss; a club serenade “for the grown and sexy”; also shine.

The other set is a bit more Cursed with mediocrity; Some People Hate, he says of critics like me; but there is a U Don’t Know Remix that, like the aforementioned Watcher, improves on the original. The Blueprint 2 title song, on which Jay-Z takes more shots at rival Nas, and Meet The Parents are also worth a listen.

my rating : 4 of 5

2002

audio review : Volume 2 [ Hard Knock Life ] … Jay-Z

audio review : Volume 2 [ Hard Knock Life ] ... Jay-Z

This is supposed to be the sequel to In My Lifetime. The reason for the missing title is anyone’s guess; perhaps to avoid the double Life; but that oddity is the album’s one major flaw. The songs themselves are mostly okay. 2 are actually quite good.

Those aforementioned highlights include A Week Ago, on which a surprisingly poignant Jay-Z plays the role of a drug dealer whose long-time friend turns snitch after getting locked up, and a group collaboration entitled Reservoir Dogs.

my rating : 3 of 5

1998

audio review : Lo ( album ) … Paula Cole

audio review : Lo ( album ) ... Paula Cole

Paula Cole should make a whole album screaming. Her best songs tend to be the ones on which she drops the inhibitions and enters maniac mode à la Nietzsche’s Eyes, Elegy and Secretary. She’s now a Wildflower, she proclaims loud enough for the world to hear, and it’s another top pick.

The rest of the album is more guarded and less interesting. It starts off divinely enough. Follow The Moon, with the exception of the last line before each break, beams with melody. The Replacements, on the other hand, should’ve been replaced. Green Eyes Crying is another Lo point.

my rating : 3 of 5

2024

Bucked Up Energy : Rocket Pop

Bucked Up Energy : Rocket Pop

This is an Energy drink based on the Bomb Pop popsicle often referred to as Rocket Pop to avoid trademark infringement. The taste is a blend of blue raspberry, lime and cherry; three of the worst popular fruit flavors. I’d much prefer strawberry, grape and peach, but it is what it is.

my rating : 3 of 5

A Shoc Energy : Swirl Pop

A Shoc Energy : Swirl Pop

This energy drink, despite having zero sugar, is based on “a nostalgic classic” in the candy world; the Swirl Pop. The flavor is an “indistinguishable” blend of cherry, orange and pineapple, though it “contains no fruit juice”. As far as ratings go, the taste is about on par with the Bang Swirly Pop.

my rating : 3 of 5