video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

video review : Wes Craven's New Nightmare

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare claws right thru the cinematic fourth wall to bring Freddy Krueger into real life. That’s done via Heather Langenkamp; the actress who plays Nancy Thompson. She, and her annoying son, are having bad dreams about the man who made her movie career a success. This is a horror flick about the horror flick you’re watching; an innovative epilogue for the franchise.

my rating : 3 of 5

1994

audio review : Human Nature ( song ) … Madonna

This is a song about erotic expression and not feeling any regrets about it. “I’m not sorry; it’s Human Nature,” Madonna reveals before laying verses of naughty rebellion against some controlling force. I’d say a boyfriend, but, knowing her, it could just as well be a chick. The beat includes a freaky backwards bassline and bagpipe loop; a sexy groove for psychological whorefare.

my rating : 4 of 5

1994


 

PZyKoTiC FaRT :

This song was released before I hit puberty, but it struck the right senses and it goes without saying: to arouse a child you must be damn sexy.

*Sigh*

I can vaguely remember her whisperin’, “Express yourself, don’t repress yourself.”

audio review : Love Don’t Live Here Anymore ( song ) … Rose Royce

Singer Gwen Dickey doesn’t have a broken heart. She has an empty one. There’s “just a vacancy” in the place her Love used to Live. He, or she, apparently left her for another; “another home” that is.

The residential metaphors don’t sound as silly as they should over such a soulful groove. Subtle snares aren’t introduced until verse two. This is quiet storm music. Thank goodness for those gutters.

my rating : 5 of 5

1978

audio review : 305.1 ( song ) … Bass 305

This is for sophisticated bassheads; audiophiles who demand top quality sound not only in their vehicles but at home. It’s a song about loudspeakers and an ideal one to test them out on. If your woofers can endure the bridge at high volume without a blowout, they’ve passed the test.

The main beat, led by an industrial slash techno-bass loop, is sleek and innovative. The chorus, sang by the enchanted angels from This Planet, is even better. The song’s one design flaw though is a major one; the pointless jazz bit at the end. It should stop at 2:30 like “What happened?”

my rating : 4 of 5

1995

audio review : Departure ( album ) ... Bass 305

video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]

video review : Freddy's Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]

While the series never managed to produce a good movie, this Final Nightmare comes back full circle to the decency of the first. The main difference is that this one takes itself less seriously as if it knows the franchise has descended into an illogical mess. It eases on the scares to allow itself to have some campy fun.

Freddy Krueger; “son of a hundred maniacs”; is almost entertaining as he cracks one bad wisecrack after another like a washed-up comedian who laughs at his own jokes because no one else will. He still knows how to kill kids in interesting ways though; listen for the hearing aid scene; and there’s actually a decent plot.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 [ Dream Warriors ]

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 [ Dream Warriors ]

Freddy Krueger is better than ever. Powered up on the souls of the children he murdered, his antics and the effects that bring them to life give the franchise a sense of charm. Worse than ever is everything else. It’s as if the characters, who all seem to know they’re asleep when dreaming, also know they’re playing a character in a bad movie.

The story itself is back on track; that Revenge chapter can be totally ignored without any lost of continuity; but it’s easily the weakest and stupidest installment in the series so far. That’s a shame because the concept, which gives potential victims special powers to defend themselves against Freddy, could be quite good in a better movie.

my rating : 2 of 5

1987

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 [ The Dream Master ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 [ The Dream Child ]
video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]
video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy’s Revenge ]

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy's Revenge ]

This is an improvement over part 1, but not by much. It relies more on close dialogue and careful pacing than bloody thrills and cheap scares, but, even without Wes Craven around to blame, it doesn’t result in anything more than standard slasher flick fare. By the end, when Krueger is in a psychophysical tug of war with a guy who’s been unwillingly recruited to kill for him, it actually gets kind of silly.

my rating : 3 of 5

1985

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 [ Dream Warriors ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 [ The Dream Master ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 [ The Dream Child ]
video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]
video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street

A horror flick about a dead man who kills people in their dreams is an interesting concept, but rather than offering up an interesting narrative, director Wes Craven presents his boogieman almost on the strength of that idea alone. “He wears a weird hat and a red and green sweater,” says the girl with the overbite, “and he uses these knives like giant fingernails.”

It’s mostly to annoy us with the screeching sound they make when he slides them against metallic surfaces before slashing some kid to death. His name is Fred Krueger; the guy from “that old jump-rope song”. After being burned alive by parents angry because he avoided a murder sentence on a technicality, he’s back from the flames of Hell to continue his wrath of terror.

my rating : 3 of 5

1984

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy’s Revenge ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 [ Dream Warriors ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 [ The Dream Master ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 [ The Dream Child ]
video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]
video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Sydney Sweeney’s physical appearance

Sydney Sweeney's physical appearance Sydney Sweeney's physical appearance Sydney Sweeney's physical appearance Sydney Sweeney's physical appearance Sydney Sweeney's physical appearance Sydney Sweeney's physical appearance Sydney Sweeney's physical appearance Sydney Sweeney's physical appearance

Sydney Sweeney has eyes that suggest she’s either always tired or trying to seduce you. I prefer to imagine the latter. She’s a sexy woman. She’s also quite cute, which I actually prefer over sexy; no fakeup needed; even with those two front bunny teeth. She has a nice slim body too with a surprisingly voluptuous pair of tits. What more do you need?

my rating : 4 of 5

2023

Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips : Original [ 40% Less Fat ]

Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips : Original [ 40% Less Fat ]

These are Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips made with “an extra spin in the kettle to remove excess oil for 40% Less Fat”. They’re supposedly “just as delicious as our classic chip”, but they’re not delicious. They’re harder, less crisp, than you’d expect; a matter made worse by the fact that they tend to come crumpled together, giving you no choice but to eat two or three at a time.

my rating : 3 of 5

Bang : Swirly Pop

Bang : Swirly Pop

This doesn’t taste like any Swirly Pop I’ve ever had. As far as Bang names go, it’s one of the most inaccurate. The flavor is more akin to some kind of fruit; Papaya Pop would’ve been more fitting; though the can makes sure to inform drinkers it “contains no fruit juice”. Neither is there sugar added; it actually includes an impressive amount of vitamins; which makes it healthier than candy.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : The Ultimate Fighter [ Team McGregor Versus Team Chandler ]

video review : The Ultimate Fighter [ Team McGregor Versus Team Chandler ]

The most interesting parts of this show are the Fights themselves. Perhaps that’s a given, but, aside from star Conor McGregor and his antics, they’re also the only interesting parts. They come near the end of each episode as the Team members compete for a UFC contract; Chandler, though less of a personality, has better coaching skills; but (too) much of the time is spent on their mundane lives and families.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023