Category: reviews

video review : The Twilight Zone : Eye Of The Beholder

video review : The Twilight Zone : Eye Of The Beholder

The best thing about this Twilight Zone episode, about a hospital patient who’s undergone a series of medical treatments to normalize (“fix”) her grotesque appearance, is the suspense in the build-up. She’s first shown with her face wrapped in gauze bandages. It’s not until the story is almost over that it, and the twist, is finally revealed.

Maxine Stuart gets annoying when she goes into a fit of overacting to convey the desperation/frustration of Janet Tyler, known by hospital staff as patient 307, but that melodramatic bit doesn’t last long. As the title suggests, the overall lesson is that beauty is in the Eye Of The Beholder; something ugly people have to repeat to themselves.

my rating : 3 of 5

1960

Pumpkin Spice Cheerios

Pumpkin Spice Cheerios

If the thought of Pumpkin Spice turns you off as it does me, don’t fret. This Limited Edition (October/November) version of Cheerios has only a soup莽on of the flavor. It tastes more like Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, albeit not quite as sweet and tasty.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : I Got Game ( song ) … Sir Mix-A-Lot

“You know a Vette only got two seats,” Sir Mix-A-Lot reminds us, “just enough room for a player and a freak.” He also has a couple of Benzes, gold around his neck and a wad of cash. The objective is to attract girls; he likes them “thick”; and have sex with as many as possible. Perhaps his flashiest accessory though is his gift of gab, which sounds especially eloquent over a funky Rick James sample.

my rating : 4 of 5

1989

Breyers Frozen Dairy Dessert : Vanilla [ No Sugar Added ]

Breyers Frozen Dairy Dessert : Vanilla [ No Sugar Added ]

Ice cream with no sugar? Well, it’s not ice cream; it’s Frozen Dairy Dessert; and the No Sugar bit comes with the caveat of the word Added. The ingredients include maltitol syrup; a natural sugar alcohol.

Breyers promotes the taste as “Simply delicious”, but that’s marketing hype. It’s good enough for what it is; basically healthy ice cream; but it lacks the sweetness and creamy texture of its sugary counterparts.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : For The Fkn Love ( album ) … Arrested Development

audio review : For The Fkn love ( album ) ... Arrested Development

The abbreviation in the title is silly; Effin would’ve been a more appropriate edit; but the worst thing about this album are the “Configa” tags that start nearly every song. He’s a damn good producer; this is vintage hip-hop that could’ve come out any time since the 3 Years 5 Months And 2 Days it took for Arrested Development to enter the world stage; but the constant credits give the set a sloppy mixtape feel.

Those beats are also the best thing about the album. Speech remains a pro-black poet; guest verses from rap veterans like Monie Love, Masta Ace and Big Daddy Kane come as nostalgic surprises; but it’s only when he stumbles upon a catchy chorus that we’re reminded why we fell in Fkn Love with his group in the first place. Highlights include We Are Not In Kansas, Where Lions Roam, Do It Up and Yes Always.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021
 

Dr Configa (PhD) :

Thanks for the review and the props when you gave them. Many producers have tags and tbh – it鈥檚 the best marketing tool I ever created. When you have ppl getting their kids to say it and ppl literally hashtagging it to you, you know it鈥檚 a winner. I鈥檝e also used it for YEARS 馃槑

African Pride Olive Miracle Braid Sheen Spray : Tension Relief And Shine

African Pride Olive Miracle Braid Sheen Spray : Tension Relief And Shine

I’d gladly recommend this Braid Sheen, formulated to nourish the hair and scalp, if not for the last item on the ingredients list. It’s the inclusion of an azo dye known as CI 19140 that makes the spray not clear but urine Yellow, which gives the head a noticeable tint.

Aside from that major aesthetic drawback; the lighter your skin, the more noticeable it is; it seems to do a fine job of “deep conditioning” with its trademark Olive and tea tree oils, which “help prevent dryness, breakage and split ends”. It also feels and smells good going on.

my rating : 3 of 5

Burger King’s Rodeo Burger

Burger King's Rodeo Burger

I don’t know what this burger has to do with a Rodeo, aside from the onion rings being somewhat reminiscent of lassos, but I can imagine a cowboy chopping one down on horseback. The inclusion of barbeque sauce makes it a tasty alternative to a regular hamburger.

my rating : 4 of 5

video review : The Twilight Zone : The Man In The Bottle

video review : The Twilight Zone : The Man In The Bottle

The Man is actually a genie able to grant wishes. The one caveat is that you only get four and can’t wish for more. That would be plenty to make my life everything I’d ever want it to be; he actually gives you time to think it over before making it “official”; but the plot of this story relies on the stupidity of its protagonist.

Enter Arthur Castle. When the genie is summoned to the struggling antique shop he runs with his wife, he’s at first skeptical and wastes his first wish on a trivial test. Once he realizes he’s for real, he wishes for money but isn’t thoughtful enough to make it limitless. His last two wishes are even more idiotic.

my rating : 3 of 5

1960

video review : Cloverfield

video review : Cloverfield

A terrorist the size of Godzilla invades New York City and goes on the attack, breaking thru that big fourth wall in the process, for Cloverfield. It’s a Matt Reeves movie; an artsy creature feature of sorts; but most of the credit goes to Hud; the guy with the (shaky) camera. Lucky for us, he continues to record even as buildings start to fall and The Statue Of Liberty’s head goes rolling by.

my rating : 4 of 5

2008

video review : 10 Cloverfield Lane

Yoplait Original : Harvest Peach

Yoplait Original : Harvest Peach

Peaches were never one of my favorite fruits growing up, but a cup of this Yoplait Original cold from the fridge is enough to make a man question his own life values. It’s smooth creamy yogurt with bits of real Harvest Peaches and it’s absolutely delicious.

my rating : 5 of 5

video review : Raw ( comedy special ) … Eddie Murphy

video review : Raw ( comedy special ) ... Eddie Murphy

When Eddie Murphy impersonates a gay guy imitating a police siren and a starving man’s reaction to eating a cracker, it’s laugh-out-loud funny, but such moments are fewer and farther between than the ones from his Delirious show.

That one rarely lets up. This one is funny; once you get past the corny introduction skit; but not nearly as often. He spends too much time on Bill Cosby, which isn’t one of his best impersonations, romantic relationships and sex.

my rating : 3 of 5

1987

video review : Mommie Dearest

video review : Mommie Dearest

I’m not sure why, but I get the feeling Joan Crawford might be mentally unstable. Perhaps it’s the way she reacts when she realizes her daughter’s dress is hanging on a, gasp, wire hanger. It’s one of the movie’s many examples of overacting but also its most iconic, and most hilarious, moment. All of Mommie Dearest’s best scenes, in fact, are ones in which she’s abusing her daughter.

To be fair, the plot is based on a book, a memoir, written by Crawford’s real-life adopted daughter, so we’re only getting one side of the story. When it comes to allegations of mistreatment, especially among dysfunctional families, the truth is often overdramatized for the sake of one’s own virtue. Her take is interesting though, even if barely enough to have been made into a Hollywood movie.

my rating : 3 of 5

1981