This is a song that uses the imagery of similes to lament a special someone or something that, “like a comet blazing cross the evening sky”, is Gone Too Soon. The vocals; both Michael Jackson’s voice and the melody it carries; are utterly marvelous. I’m not crying. Those flowers are messing with my allergies.
my rating : 5 of 5
1991
This song would be better without the intro; an orchestral piece that lasts for over a minute; especially considering a second one; what sounds like angels hymning; immediately follows. By the time Michael Jackson sings, his old Motown records Got To Be There and I’ll Be There would be reaching their ends.
This isn’t a romantic dedication to some girl though. As the angels suggest, it seems to be a religious calling of sorts. “Hold me like the river Jordan and I will then say to thee you are my friend,” Michael Jackson pleads, “Carry me like you are my brother, love me like a mother; Will You Be There?”
The church choir offers a similar melody to the verses, which suggests a lack of musical creativity, though it is a wondrous melody. The song, in fact, sounds like one that was destined to be made; perhaps a future standard generations of people will come to sing-along with and enjoy. It reminds me of Christmas.
The one major sin (flaw) other than the ostentatious prelude is Jackson seeming to not be able to hear what the choir is saying during the peak. “Lay your head lowly,” they sing to which he ad-libs about getting “lonely”. The coda, on which he recites a poignant poem over the music of Heaven, sounds divine.
my rating : 4 of 5
1991
This song, an ambiguous “love” song, sounds delightful during the chorus sections. “I don’t wanna clash,” a woman sings to her mate, “I don’t want to rehash the past.” That’s an interesting statement considering the funky 1970s-style disco beat.
If the whole song sounded like those two hooks; the second of which should’ve been extended to 16 bars with ad-libs; it would easily rank among the band’s best, but the rest, which sounds more like a long stripped-down bridge, is relatively boring.
my rating : 3 of 5
2008
This Multi-Purpose Cleaner from Lysol gives a “powerful cleaning” as advertised, probably thanks to the Hydrogen Peroxide, but the scent, which the company has the gall to call Citrus Sparkle Zest, is repugnant. It smells like somebody tried to drink lemon juice mixed with sour milk, vomited, then tried to clean it up with Lysol.
my rating : 2 of 5
Every one of these songs is a romantic dedication, but I don’t hear anything that’ll knock a woman off her feet. Producer and arranger Patrick Adams provides a funky atmosphere; it’s the melodically lackadaisical vocals of Eddie Kendricks himself that underwhelm. Perhaps that’s why the Love of his life is set to Walk Away by album’s end.
my rating : 3 of 5
1979
Leslie Smith does better this time around; I’ll give her that; but still it’s not enough. As tough as she is, her opponent is simply too much. Cris Cyborg wins every round of this rematch in what seems destined to be an unanimous decision victory until Smith eventually goes down and out with just nine seconds left on the clock.
my rating : 4 of 5
2021
With a whopping 300 milligrams of caffeine per serving, this “potent brain and body fuel” is, according to the can, “not your stereotypical high sugar, life-sucking soda masquerading as an energy drink!” There’s actually no sugar at all, a major health benefit, though the inclusion of sucralose as a substitute isn’t much better.
The taste is hard to describe. I’ve never had Rosé (wine) but there are hints of grape, along with strawberry and maybe some Pez. It’s certainly sweet, thanks to the aforementioned sucralose, at least when you first start drinking. The sweetness seems to fade after a while. Drink it partially frozen to get the full conceptual impact.
my rating : 3 of 5
Ladies and gentlemen, how about a big round of applause for the ending of this song in which the beat strips down to just hip-hop drums and what sounds like a short piano riff. It’s the manic record-scratching laid atop that sells it; thousands of tickets worth, in fact.
The J Beez are Comin Through your city on tour. They’re going from venue to venue, performing concerts for fans around the world. If you think the girl; or is that a boy; at the end says their names in the wrong order, by the way, check the Forces Of Nature album cover.
my rating : 4 of 5
1989
Tinashe’s rap is cute; she should do it more often; but the concept of it sort of contradicts what came before it. She goes from feeling sad about being played “like a symphony” to bragging about the guy’s sexual attraction toward her. “This shit got him so whipped,” she says, in reference to her pussy, “slurping it up like a snow cone.”
It’s a strange juxtaposition. She even acknowledges that he’d “wife it if I let his ass, for sure”. I guess her point is that the sex is Something she also enjoys a lot; the way she exhales on the bridge makes my dick stand up to see what’s going on; and, though she refuses to be his other girlfriend, she’ll let him keep coming around in order to get it.
my rating : 4 of 5
2015
Perhaps Paula Cole’s always been an SJW; go listen to her Harbinger debut; but she’s never manifested her advocacy to this degree. The war cry begins right out the gate with a call to action in the form of a bombastic speech by what sounds like an old black man. “We are deeply in need of a new way beyond the darkness,” he says before revealing the Revolution as a way to bring about a world utopia of “love”.
For Cole, it seems to have more to do with contemporary feminism; Shake The Sky calls for the uprising of women while Silent serves as an anthem for the so-called Me Too Movement; though she also takes on racism and other political issues. Still the album isn’t as musically radical as the aforementioned Intro might lead you to believe. Most of it sounds like Paula Cole, whatever that’s worth these days.
my rating : 3 of 5
2019
Courage? I don’t know. Paula Cole decided to play it safe on this album. What we get, after nearly eight years, is a woman who’s mature and sophisticated, relatively stable even, in contrast to the church girl who got lost in religious babble (Amen) or the Lilith who threatened to bite off the head of her housemate’s penis with This Fire.
That latter set, easily her best, is what made the world fall in Love with her in the first place and we do get a small puff of that fiery edge here. She goes into her signature bawl at the end of the first single, another breakup ballad, entitled 14. “This mighty woman’s ready to explode,” she warns, though the “volcano” never actually erupts.
Still this prettier version of Cole who prefers sweeping jazz arrangements and lite reggae over bitchy rock anthems remains a talent. Even given these romantic themes, her voice is smoother than ever and she still has a knack for the kind of ballsy vocal melodies you don’t hear much in the brave new world of pop music.
my rating : 3 of 5
2007
Though infested with killer zombies, nothing in this movie; a remake of George Romero’s Night sequel; is as Dead as the dialogue and plot, both of which lurk in dark contrast to an interesting setup. Instead of a house, Dawn traps its unfortunates; a group of wise-cracking dimwits who do things only characters in horror movies seem to do, like stand too close to running chainsaws; in a Milwaukee shopping mall.
my rating : 2 of 5
2004