Category: reviews

audio review : 8 Diagrams ( album ) … Wu-Tang Clan

audio review : 8 Diagrams ( album ) ... Wu-Tang Clan

Rza’s beats are still the most interesting thing about Wu-Tang Clan. Over the years, it’s transcended into an experimental mix of acid hip-hop and ghetto soul with old Kung Fu movie samples mixed in for nostalgia’s sake. This album presents it amid some of the rawest vocals the eight remaining Clansmen have to offer these days, but, despite guest crooners like Erykah Badu and George Clinton, the album is weak at the hooks; one of the main Diagrams to consider when it comes to making a good rap album.

my rating : 3 of 5

2007

video review : Short Circuit 2

video review : Short Circuit 2

Short Circuit 2 is better than the first one. They’re both corny, thanks mostly to the personality of the star robot, but this one has a better plot. It sends Number 5, now known as Johnny 5, to New York City to build toy replicas of himself. Of course all hell breaks loose from there.

There’s a ridiculous sequence involving a restaurant freezer and an answering machine; in a movie about a living robot, this bit comes across as the most implausible; but it’s a decent sequel. It would be better if it took itself seriously though. Johnny 5’s sense of humor is cringey.

my rating : 3 of 5

1988

video review : Short Circuit

video review : Short Circuit

Number 5 is alive? No, but he thinks he is. He’s a military robot created at Nova Laboratories. It’s when he gets struck by a magical lightning bolt and inadvertently escapes to the home of a girl named Stephanie that the plots kicks into gear.

A potentially interesting concept is ruined by the movie’s chosen genre. Short Circuit would be better as serious science fiction. Instead it presents itself as mostly comedy; the star robot is constantly making jokes; except it’s mostly corny.

my rating : 2 of 5

1986

video review : Short Circuit 2

McDonald’s Sausage Biscuit

McDonald's Sausage Biscuit

It’s often best to keep it simple and McDonald’s Sausage Biscuit is a perfect example of that. It’s just a sausage patty sandwiched between two buttermilk biscuits, but it’s one of the best-tasting items on the menu. Two is all you need for a filling 19th-century-style breakfast that also happens to be delicious.

my rating : 4 of 5

video review : Halloween Kills

video review : Halloween Kills

Jamie Lee Curtis breaks her tradition of dressing up as Laurie Strode every ten years for Halloween Kills; a sequel to Halloween, which itself is a sequel of the original. The title is fitting; the killings have always been the best parts; but the night should’ve ended long ago.

This movie is, like the series itself, a bloody mess. It starts out decent enough; the 1978 flashback bit conjures a sense of nostalgia that suggests it would’ve been better as a pseudo-remake; but the quality drops dead once the stupid vigilante concept comes into play.

my rating : 2 of 5

2021

audio review : Morphine ( song ) … Michael Jackson

This song is addictive. It rocks and rolls as a manic Michael Jackson rants and raves; the verses mimic the fragmented thoughts of a broken addict fiending for a fix; over its intense industrial-style beat.

Demerol provides some relief; the song is a rhapsody of sorts; but it’s not the opioid of choice. He “heard what the doctor said”, but he doesn’t give a shit. He’s in pain (dammit) and he wants his Morphine.

my rating : 5 of 5

1997

audio review : Blood On The Dance Floor [ History In The Mix ] ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

audio review : Pure Souls ( song ) … Roddy Ricch + Kanye West ( featuring Shenseea )

Shenseea almost ruins this song. Her coda should’ve been cut entirely. The organ sounds nice, but that whole end section threatens to drag the overall aesthetic quality down a notch.

It would be better as a Roddy Ricch song featuring Kanye West, who actually provides the best part. “Father, I’m yours exclusively,” it goes, “Devil, get behind me; I’m loose, I’m free.”

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

audio review : Donda ( album ) ... Kanye West

video review : Thelma And Louise

video review : Thelma And Louise

The story of Thelma And Louise doesn’t really start to get interesting until it’s almost over. By then, the duo’s weekend plans, which started as a simple vacation to “the mountains”, have long gone awry; thanks in part to Thelma’s decision to bring her gun.

The final scene is poignant; it’s a hell of an ending; but the following flashbacks are counterproductive. Comedic and romantic undertones also lessen the impact of the movie; an unlikely chick flick that would be better if fully embraced the thrill of the chase.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

audio review : Moon ( song ) … Kid Cudi ( featuring Don Toliver + Kanye West )

This, a sky-gazer’s hymn, is the best cut from Kanye West’s Donda album, but it would’ve been even better than it is if it had a more appropriate song structure. It barely qualifies as a song. There should be not one but two Kid Cudi verses with a Kanye West chorus break in-between.

That chorus, which has West conjuring the melodic chops he showcased on the demo/SNL version of Teyana Taylor’s We Got Love, doesn’t come till near the end. It’s a five-star bit though as he outsings both Cudi, who should also be praised for his wailing ad-libs, and Don Toliver.

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

audio review : Donda ( album ) ... Kanye West

Borden Eggnog

Borden Eggnog

That Borden cow Elsie produces delicious Eggnog but not straight from the udder. Like most commercial versions, this has “artificial” flavor on the ingredients list. It’s not as rich as the Premium version, but it’s a sweet indulgence nonetheless.

my rating : 5 of 5

Noo Fuzion : Frosé Rosé

Noo Fuzion : Frosé Rosé

What’s the difference between this Noo Fuzion Frosé Rosé from Bang Energy and the regular one? Apparently not the taste. They’re indistinguishable; imagine drinking grape-strawberry Pez; to my buds.

This new Fuzion version is marketed as a “pre-workout” drink “designed to enhance muscle protein synthesis and performance”. The can gets quite technical as it boasts about the science behind the claim.

my rating : 3 of 5