video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street

A horror flick about a dead man who kills people in their dreams is an interesting concept, but rather than offering up an interesting narrative, director Wes Craven presents his boogieman almost on the strength of that idea alone. “He wears a weird hat and a red and green sweater,” says the girl with the overbite, “and he uses these knives like giant fingernails.”

It’s mostly to annoy us with the screeching sound they make when he slides them against metallic surfaces before slashing some kid to death. His name is Fred Krueger; the guy from “that old jump-rope song”. After being burned alive by parents angry because he avoided a murder sentence on a technicality, he’s back from the flames of Hell to continue his wrath of terror.

my rating : 3 of 5

1984

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy’s Revenge ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 [ Dream Warriors ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 [ The Dream Master ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 [ The Dream Child ]
video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]
video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Sydney Sweeney’s physical appearance

Sydney Sweeney has eyes that suggest she’s either always tired or trying to seduce you. I prefer to imagine the latter. She’s a sexy woman. She’s also quite cute, which I actually prefer over sexy; no fakeup needed; even with those two front bunny teeth. She has a nice slim body too with a surprisingly voluptuous pair of tits. What more do you need?

my rating : 4 of 5

2023

Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips : Original [ 40% Less Fat ]

These are Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips made with “an extra spin in the kettle to remove excess oil for 40% Less Fat”. They’re supposedly “just as delicious as our classic chip”, but they’re not delicious. They’re harder, less crisp, than you’d expect; a matter made worse by the fact that they tend to come crumpled together, giving you no choice but to eat two or three at a time.

my rating : 3 of 5

Bang : Swirly Pop

This doesn’t taste like any Swirly Pop I’ve ever had. As far as Bang names go, it’s one of the most inaccurate. The flavor is more akin to some kind of fruit; Papaya Pop would’ve been more fitting; though the can makes sure to inform drinkers it “contains no fruit juice”. Neither is there sugar added; it actually includes an impressive amount of vitamins; which makes it healthier than candy.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : The Ultimate Fighter [ Team McGregor Versus Team Chandler ]

The most interesting parts of this show are the Fights themselves. Perhaps that’s a given, but, aside from star Conor McGregor and his antics, they’re also the only interesting parts. They come near the end of each episode as the Team members compete for a UFC contract; Chandler, though less of a personality, has better coaching skills; but (too) much of the time is spent on their mundane lives and families.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023

Gimme Grab And Go Roasted Seaweed Snacks : Teriyaki

You’d think they’d somehow found a way to make Seaweed edible when you see it packaged and promoted as Snacks, but no. These, despite being “roasted to light crispy perfection”, are as nasty as you’d otherwise expect. Teriyaki my ass. The taste is more akin to shit; thin sheets of freeze-dried feces; seasoned with powders and sugars.

my rating : 1 of 5

Waterloo Sparkling Water : Peach

There is a hint of Peach, but, unlike the actual fruit, this drink isn’t sweet at all. It’s basically just carbonated Water, which is quite distasteful. I drink sodas and the like despite their sting, never because of it.

my rating : 2 of 5

video review : Chris Weidman versus Brad Tavares at UFC 292

This loss wouldn’t be so bad if Chris Weidman wasn’t so delusional during the promo interviews, claiming to be in his “prime” and such. He’s never looked worse. Whether that has more to do with him coming back from a devastating leg break, “ring rust” or the fact that he’s nearly 40 years old is the question. Brad Tavares and his leg kicks; how crazy would it be if he broke his kicking Weidman; also come into play.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023

audio review : Into The Future ( album ) … MC Rell And The Houserockers

The title song makes sense at the beginning, but it also makes past reference to My Vision, which comes later in the set. That contradiction, rather the fact that one of the two weren’t excluded, serves as the album’s one major flaw, at least as far as this nitpicker is concerned. It’s a decent rap album otherwise. Highlights include Life Of An Entertainer and Hole In My Pocket.

my rating : 3 of 5

1989

Bang : Candy Apple Crisp

This really does taste like a Candy Apple. I prefer the caramel ones, but it’s a sweet treat nonetheless. The only drawback is the one that flaws most Bangs and energy drinks in general; the carbonation. Imagine how much better these drinks would be if not for the grimace-inducing sting.

my rating : 3 of 5

Screamin Sicilian Pizza : Sausage And Shrooms

Sausage And Shrooms; Italian sausage and white mushrooms; are the main ingredients, but this pizza is also topped with yellow onions. Would it be better without that last addition? Probably. Will they slow you down? Not at all. The pie, the crust of which is basically crispy pita bread, is indeed a “Shroomy delight”.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Good Versus Evil ( song ) … Bass 305 + Bass Mekanik

This would be Good if the angelic piano chorus, the murmurs of which conjure Does Life Exist On This Planet, weren’t abandoned halfway in. It’s a beautiful bit that should’ve been looped to no end or at least brought back near the end. As is, the song seems anticlimactic; unfinished even.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

Dirty Harry's Wet T-Shirt Contest
Crumbl cookies and milk
a girl talking about her relationship with her boyfriend
a Christian evangelist promoting his religion
a woman showing her ass and other body parts
a Christian claiming to know God is real
Saturday night lens tests
Super Kaboom ice cream
morning at a lake in Florida
Janelle Monáe performing in Jacksonville
a Jehovah's Witness talking about God and The Devil
a homeless Christian talking about his belief in God