audio review : The Resurrection ( album ) … Geto Boys

audio review : The Resurrection ( album ) ... Geto Boys

They were never really dead, not even in a metaphoric sense, so this is only a Resurrection in that the Geto Boys are back to what they once were; Scarface, Bushwick Bill and Willie D; the latter of which “left the group in 91”. There’s a verse here that insists the split was the result of real-life beef, but “we settled our differences”, so he’s back and still yelling, though not as loud as he used to. Big Mike, who replaced him for the last album, is missing in action.

With things back in place, you’d expect, or at least hope for, a fitting follow-up to We Can’t Be Stopped; their best album; but, though it’s only been five years, times have changed. The beats are more airy and vivacious; less hip-hop, more sinister mob music. It seems the Boys have also matured into grown men, so it’s mostly serious business with social and political commentary between murders; less time for funny disses, careless sex and Chuckie dolls.

That makes for a less interesting album; a dark undertaking with a conceptual fixation with death. At one point Bushwick Bill even kills himself after declaring to passenger Willie D that he Just Wanna Die. D dares him to shoot himself in the head while driving, which he does. You can hear the tires screech as the ride swerves off the road and crashes into something hard. The decision for him not to be heard again for the rest of the album was a clever one.

That bit is followed by a Willie D solo song comparing Niggas And Flies, but, while he’s Still the most entertaining (funniest) member of the group, we’ve heard better from both rappers. The best songs are actually Blind Leading The Blind, led by the Menace Clan, and Point Of No Return. The album would also do better without an on-going prison phone call from an annoyingly race-obsessed Larry Hoover to Rap-A-Lot founder and CEO J Prince.

my rating : 3 of 5

1996

Epic Venison Strip

Epic Venison Strip

The main ingredient of this jerky is Venison; “100% grass-fed”, whatever that’s worth; but it’s “grounded and formed” with beef, so the name is a bit of a misnomer. It’s seasoned with sea salt, black pepper, onion powder and garlic powder; none of which seem to help matters in the way of taste. A little sugar would be nice. As is, the Strip, quite literally, leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

my rating : 2 of 5

Frosted Flakes

Frosted Flakes

“They’re great,” Tony The Tiger says with a growl. It’s one of the few product slogans I actually agree with. Eating a bowl of Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes in cold milk is one of the sweetest experiences the cereal world has to offer.

If there’s a flaw, it’s that the flakes, which taste better crunchy, start to get soggy after coming in contact with the milk. The fix is to pour a small bowl, add milk, eat fast and repeat until your stomach and taste buds are at odds.

my rating : 5 of 5

Beach Cliff Sardines [ In Water ]

Beach Cliff Sardines [ In Water ]

These Sardines, depending on when and where you get them, are actually sprats. That’s fine with me; I prefer sprats because they’re smaller and thus easier to eat; but, while the two fish are nearly indistinguishable, it’s a blatant form of false advertising.

Still you’ll have a hard time finding a healthier food as sardines; these are “wild caught”, from places like Poland, for whatever that’s worth; are packed with Omega-3 fatty acids and other nutrients. “Savory”? Sure. Tasty? Not really. They’re best served as a side dish.

my rating : 3 of 5

Little Caesars Pizza : Classic Italian Sausage

Little Caesars Pizza : Classic Italian Sausage

I wouldn’t call this Pizza a Classic in the aesthetic sense. It’s good stuff, but it isn’t up there with Pepperoni; rather an occasional alternative when you have a taste for something different. It actually reminds me of a surrealistic version of the pizza they used to serve at lunch when I was in elementary school.

my rating : 4 of 5

Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars : Oats And Honey

Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars : Oats And Honey

I like the taste of these Granola Bars. Oats And Honey go well together. It’s the texture I have an issue with. They’re Crunchy as advertised, which is fine, but they’re also dry and messy. You’d be best off eating them outside, perhaps on a hiking trip where the ants will appreciate all the falling crumbs, with a bottle of water in hand.

my rating : 4 of 5

video review : Missing 411 : The UFO Connection

video review : Missing 411 [ The UFO Connection ]

The bombastic prelude is a bit much, but thankfully things settle down from there. The most interesting parts of this documentary; the third in David Paulides’ Missing 411 series; are when people simply tell their stories, which now have a UFO Connection.

Paulides seems to imply (believe) what they’re saying is true, but I’m more of a skeptic. The Carl Higdon Incident; in which a hunter claims to have been abducted, fed and damn-near befriended by a talking alien named Ozo; is particularly questionable.

my rating : 4 of 5

2022

Little Debbie Unicorn Cakes Ice Cream

Little Debbie Unicorn Cakes Ice Cream

Little Debbie’s Unicorn Cakes look, appropriately enough, like something a little girl would create. Whether this Ice Cream version; a collaboration with Hudsonville; is more or less fantastical is a matter of opinion, but I certainly prefer it. It’s a sweet treat with emphasis on the word “sweet”. The ingredients list includes regular sugar, powdered sugar, corn syrup and purple sprinkles.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : a song from Pretty Woman : He Sleeps

This is the music playing as Pretty Woman Julia Roberts (Vivian) discovers Richard Gere (Edward) sitting asleep on the bed. She kisses him, which leads not just to sex but the metaphorical making of “love”. It’s a nice scene and a good movie. The song is even better.

It, a homestyle orchestral ballad composed by James Newton Howard, in fact deserves a more timeless presentation. The visuals of director Garry Marshall and cinematographer Charles Minsky will become dated, but this beautiful; forget Pretty; music will remain exquisite.

my rating : 5 of 5

1990

video review : Pretty Woman

Sunny Creek Broccoli Sprouts

Sunny Creek Broccoli Sprouts

Broccoli Sprouts, or baby broccoli, are a so-called Super Food, meaning they’re one of the healthiest you can eat. They’re “nature’s best source of” Sulforaphane, perhaps the safest way to fight or prevent cancer.

What I like about Sunny Creek’s, which you can find at North Carolina grocery stores, is that it’s ready to eat; no cooking or prepping. The taste is also tolerable; probably the best I can say for any plant sprout.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Every Loser ( album ) … Iggy Pop

audio review : Every Loser ( album ) ... Iggy Pop

The song that best fits the title theme also happens to be the best song. Strung Out Johnny, on which Iggy Pop plays the familiar role of a hapless drug addict, rocks. Morning Show, Comments and New Atlantis are also decent. The rest is basically trash.

Pop, whose vocal range goes from Weird Al to Johnny Cash where applicable, revels in raunch like the rock legend he is, but here he comes across as mostly corny. Neo Punk, on which he sings of old ladies cumming; gag; is particularly atrocious.

my rating : 2 of 5

2023

audio review : Strung Out Johnny ( song ) … Iggy Pop

Iggy Pop stumbles between the first and second person perspective on this grunge anthem. It’s about a man named Johnny who happens to be Strung Out on drugs. “You can’t get enough,” he reflects, “Then your life gets all fucked up.” That bridge is the one bad part of the song. Every other part rocks, especially near the end when the chorus goes into full swing over 1980s power synths.

my rating : 4 of 5

2022

audio review : Every Loser ( album ) ... Iggy Pop