Category: reviews

video review : Undertaker : The Last Ride

video review : Undertaker : The Last Ride

The Last Ride bit references The Undertaker’s final WWE match, but there should be a question mark at the end. Many athletes get addicted to the thrill of performing for thousands of cheering fans and don’t know when or how to quit. Taker, my favorite wrestler almost since his 1990 debut, is no exception. At 55 years old and riddled with injuries, he still can’t manage to formally announce his retirement from the sport.

This behind-the-scenes documentary series, which, like most, would be better edited down to one lone project, chronicles his latter years, starting at his WrestleMania 33 bout with Roman Reigns. It stops just after WrestleMania 36 and, while compelling all the way; I lost interest in the kayfabe aspect of wrestling as a teenager but remain a die-hard fan of the shoots; it never stops feeling like an extended epilogue.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

Rest Stop ( story ) … Stephen King

It seems people vomit in Stephen King stories for reasons that seem unlikely in real life. One is a “whore”, albeit a pregnant one, being beaten by her boyfriend or husband. The other is protagonist John Dykstra after attacking the man to protect the woman.

Dykstra is a novelist with an alter ego, a “literary werewolf” named Rick Hardin, whom he conjures in order to do the deed, but the point is lost on me. Rest Stop is technically well-written; Stephen King guarantees as much; but the plot doesn’t really go anywhere.

my rating : 2 of 5

Rest Stop ( story ) ... Stephen King

audio review : Charly ( EP ) … Max B

audio review : Charly ( EP ) ... Max B

Charly Wingate, better known as Max B, is still in prison and I still don’t know how he’s making what sounds like studio music from there. He’s supposed to be released next year. Perhaps he should’ve waited till then to release these songs, which sound like the start of what could be a damn good album.

I said “start”, but the order is off. Porno Music 2; a sequel that, without a careful comparative analysis, seems to match, if not outmatch, the 2009 original; should come later in the set. It’s song two of five, perhaps because of the “2”, but it should be song four or three. That’s my only major gripe here.

The lame title is more forgivable, especially when you’re distracted by a catchy chorus. This EP, which is better than the crowded House Money, confirms that Max B is still the best relatively famous rapper when it comes to singing hooks. He’s just warming up on the first song. It gets better from there.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

Espresso Monster : Vanilla Cream [ Triple Shot ]

Espresso Monster : Vanilla Cream [ Triple Shot ]

“Italians are famous for artistic masterpieces, fast cars, fashion, beautiful women and the perfect espresso,” the can reads, “The latest trend is the Macchiato, a blend of strong espresso and milk.”

The milk is nice and smooth. It’s the strength of the Triple Shot of coffee, which, along with the milk, is apparently imported from Europe, that’s a tad overwhelming, at least during the aftertaste.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : Kamaru Usman versus Colby Covington at UFC 245

video review : Kamaru Usman versus Colby Covington at UFC 245

This is a case of two wrestlers canceling each other out in the sense that it seems neither wants to go for a takedown. The result is a virtual kickboxing match full of action. It’s a back and forth brawl, very close, until the final round when Usman puts Covington down.

my rating : 4 of 5

2019

Fair Extension ( story ) … Stephen King

The most interesting character in this story, about a lung cancer patient who makes, as the phrase goes, a deal with The Devil, is also the most ridiculous. That character’s name is George Elvid and he’s a “pudgy” salesman who at least serves as a metaphor for the aforementioned entity.

He offers Dave Streeter, who’s been told he has a few months to live, an Extension in the form of a longer life in exchange for money and a redistribution of his (Streeter’s) bad luck or “negative weight”. It’s a silly premise with a mundane plot and odd references to real-life celebrity news bits.

my rating : 2 of 5

2010

review : Full Dark No Stars ( book ) ... Stephen King

audio review : A Bird In The Hand ( song ) … Ice Cube

The prelude; Big Bird from Sesame Street announcing he’s found an old book of poetry in his nest; is genius. The song, which, at just over two minutes with no chorus, is barely that, doesn’t disappoint from there.

It’s a soliloquy from a young dad who turns to illegal drug sales in order to make money. It’s also a diss to George Bush and other white political leaders, whom a lot of black people blame for their money problems.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

audio review : A Bird In The Hand ( song ) ... Ice Cube

You Know They Got A Hell Of A Band ( story ) … Stephen King

This is a good story during its early stages as a married couple; Mary and Clark; drive down a back road in the “boonies” of Oregon. The two being lost, surrounded by wilderness, as the sun heads west conjure a genuine sense of suspense.

The road goes awry from there. Where they end up and what (who) they see when they get there is a major letdown in comparison to what came before. An engaging tale based in reality is spirited away to a silly dream-like fantasy world.

my rating : 2 of 5

1992

You Know They Got A Hell Of A Band ( story ) ... Stephen King

Rainy Season ( story ) … Stephen King

This is Stephen King’s take on the old “raining cats and dogs” idiom. That he takes it literally, swapping mammals for amphibians, makes the story, which traps a young couple in a small town vacation house, more comedy than horror.

Once the downpour begins, things get interesting. It’s preposterous all the way; this is a story about killer toads Raining from the sky; but fun and somewhat captivating, at least during the second half where most of the action occurs.

my rating : 3 of 5

1989

Rainy Season ( story ) ... Stephen King

That Feeling You Can Only Say What It Is In French ( story ) … Stephen King

This story, about a woman experiencing déjà vu on a second honeymoon trip to Captiva Island, is one of Stephen King’s worst. It’s a lot of biographical rambling, mostly about the woman’s mundane marriage, without any narrative payoff.

my rating : 1 of 5

1998

That Feeling You Can Only Say What It Is In French ( story ) ... Stephen King

video review : When A Stranger Calls

video review : When A Stranger Calls

For the first twenty minutes, When A Stranger Calls a babysitter named Jill and threatens to cover himself in her blood, it seems this is going to be a decent horror flick. What it suddenly turns into, after a seven-year time leap, is a half-ass crime thriller involving a different woman. Jill eventually comes back into the picture as an adult with kids of her own, but by then it’s way too late to save this mess of a movie.

my rating : 1 of 5

1979