Category: reviews with a 4 of 5 rating

audio review : Houdini ( song ) … Eminem

Eminem should stop saying he’s “back”. He’s been doing it after nearly every hiatus since The Marshal Mathers LP and even then it came across as a lazy cliché. This newest return is nonetheless significant as he goes back to the tradition of teasing a new album with a fun first single à la The Real Slim Shady, Without Me, Just Lose It and We Made You.

Houdini; the rapper’s new alphabetical idolization after Hitchcock; is one of the better among them. The beat is appropriately goofy. The raps, which mock censorship for old times sake, are appropriately defiant. The third verse is particularly entertaining as he offers a funny “fuck you” to everyone from R Kelly to trannies to his “own kids; they’re brats.”

my rating : 4 of 5

2024

audio review : The Death Of Slim Shady [ Coup De Grâce ] ( album ) ... Eminem

audio review : Six Minutes Of Pleasure ( song ) … LL Cool J ( featuring The Flex )

My only gripe with this song is that it isn’t Six Minutes long. Still it’s one of LL Cool J’s best thanks not only to Marley Marl who provides a sweet groove but The Flex singing on the hook. Their vocals alone turn what would’ve been a mediocre “love” song into a Pleasurable one. It; inviting singers to backdrop your plain hook; is an artistic technique more rappers should utilize.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Mama Said Knock You Out ( album ) ... LL Cool J

video review : Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood

video review : Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood

Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood; a parody of Menace To Society, South Central, Juice and Boyz N The Hood; is as ridiculous as its title, but that’s the point. It’s more of a ninety-minute In Living Color skit than a real movie, but, unlike most comedies, it’s actually funny most of the time and occasionally hilarious. It helps to have watched the flicks it spoofs to be fully amused.

my rating : 4 of 5

1996

video review : Kingdom Of The Planet Of The Apes

video review : Kingdom Of The Planet Of The Apes

If you thought they’d leave the new Planet Of The Apes franchise; a nearly two-billion-dollar success for Hollywood; a tidy trilogy, you’re a stupid “human”. Kingdom, as superfluous as its existence may be, is a worthy successor. It’s also a new beginning as Caesar, now replaced with lead chimp Noa, becomes legend. The dialogue is mostly stodgy and pretentious, but the plot, which also evolves around a supergirl named Mae, is engaging enough.

my rating : 4 of 5

2024

audio review : Strawberriez N Cream ( song ) … MC Eiht ( featuring High T )

The title should be spelled right; Strawberries And Cream; and the High T verse should come after both of MC Eiht’s. Those are the only two major flaws on this otherwise palatable song. The best part is the beat; a jazzy groove with a delicious bassline; which isn’t fully appreciated till Bam and Chill start talking (drugs) over it near the end.

my rating : 4 of 5

1999

audio review : With You I’m Born Again ( song ) … Billy Preston + Syreeta Wright

This is a traditional duet on which a man and a woman sing sweet nothings to each other if not under moonlight then the streetlights shining in thru the bedroom windows. It’s Billy Preston and Syreeta Wright, but it may as well be Nat King Cole and Lena Horne as their melodies embrace over a graceful orchestral score.

my rating : 4 of 5

1979

audio review : 2 Bad ( song ) … Michael Jackson

This song should end at about the 3:41 mark before Shaquille O’Neal enters the court. His verse is decent enough, aside from the faddish “95” reference, but the song would be better without him. Michael Jackson holds his own (“crotch”) vocally; there are some funky harmonies happening here; especially during the peaks when he starts doing his signature ad-libs.

my rating : 4 of 5

1995

audio review : History ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

Natura Plantain Chips

Natura Plantain Chips

“Plantains are high in fiber and resistant starch,” the bag reads, “which makes them a great crispy alternative to potato chips.” They also taste about as good, which is telling considering the fact that there are only two other ingredients; sunflower oil and salt. You may also be surprised to realize they’re not at all sweet but rather savory.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Fanatic Of The B Word ( song ) … De La Soul ( featuring Dres and Mike G )

They shouldn’t have changed the style of the chorus at the end and Dres should’ve followed Posdnuos/Trugoy’s flow/echoes in his verse. Otherwise everything about this song, from host Mike G’s introduction to the random shoutouts at the end, is just right. Kudos to Prince Paul for the funky beat and quirky “ball” samples.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

audio review : De La Soul Is Dead ( album ) ... De La Soul

Angie’s Boom Chicka Pop Popcorn : White Cheddar

Angie's Boom Chicka Pop Popcorn : White Cheddar

Angie (Bastian) says on the bag that this Popcorn “is made with real, simple ingredients”; “you know, ingredients you don’t have to scrunch up your face to say”. The list is indeed impressively modest, which wouldn’t mean much if it didn’t make for a “flavorful snack”. The taste holds up though, thanks mostly to the powdery White Cheddar coating.

my rating : 4 of 5

Van Leeuwen French Ice Cream : Pumpkin Cinnamon Roll

Van Leeuwen French Ice Cream : Pumpkin Cinnamon Roll

This French Ice Cream, a Van Leeuwen “limited edition” for the fall (“autumn”) season, would’ve been better as just Cinnamon Roll. The Pumpkin bit, while far from overwhelming, does its flavor no favors. Still it tastes good enough to eat and enjoy as you prepare for the cold of winter.

my rating : 4 of 5

Monster Energy : Ultra Peachy Keen

Monster Energy : Ultra Peachy Keen

Peach has sneakily become one of my favorite artificial fruit flavors. The real thing; a fresh juicy peach; is also a treat, but this Energy drink, which has “zero sugar”, is also “0% juice”.

In regard to taste, it goes down as easily one of the best Monsters while the can reminisces upon The Summer Of Love; not the BLM/Antifa riots of 2020 but the hippie movement of 1967.

my rating : 4 of 5