Category: reviews

video review : UFC 309

video review : UFC 309

Jon Jones should’ve retired here. It would’ve been a fairytale ending to his nearly impeccable career. Instead he retires his opponent; heavyweight “goat” Stipe Miocic; and does “the Trump dance” as the former/future president cheers him on from the audience. It is perhaps the event’s most endearing moment and, make no mistake about it, those two; Jon Jones and Donald Trump; are the stars of the show.

The most entertaining fight honor goes to Charles Oliveira and Michael Chandler as expected. Paul Craig and James Llontop do much better than expected, putting a damper on the hype of their prospect victors. The “overrated” Bo Nickal actually gets booed by the finicky crowd. Viviane Araújo also defeats a tired Karine Silva, though Silva scores points on my card every time she lays on her back with her legs open.

my rating : 4 of 5

2024 November 16

Bang : Peach Mango

Bang : Peach Mango

“When life puts you to the test, don’t settle for second best”, the can reads, “Grab a Bang Energy and fuel your destiny!” This one does taste like Peaches and Mangos; a semitropical fruit blend that results in a mildly pleasant flavor. It’s the carbonation that dampers the experience.

my rating : 3 of 5

Fast Twitch : Glacier Freeze

Fast Twitch : Glacier Freeze

You can enhance the concept of this energy drink, brought to you “from the makers of Gatorade”, by putting it in the Freezer to ice it up. Be careful though. It chills and becomes undrinkable, meaning it’ll have to be thawed, quicker than you might think. The taste is sweet and Kool-Aid-like.

my rating : 4 of 5

Fast Twitch : Strawberry Watermelon

Fast Twitch : Strawberry Watermelon

This Fast Twitch, “from the makers of Gatorade”, tastes like Kool-Aid with too much water in it… or not enough sugar. That’s appropriate enough considering there’s “zero sugar”; a health boast nearly rescinded with the addition of its sucralose substitute. It’s an energy drink made for sports athletes.

my rating : 3 of 5

Goat Fuel : Gummy Bear

Goat Fuel : Gummy Bear

This is supposed to taste like Gummy Bears. It sort of does, but not enough to warrant the namesake. Speaking of which, as far as energy drinks go, it’s far from the “Greatest of all time”, though the can suggests the acronym actually refers to the quintessential drinker; the Muhammad Alis and Michael Jordans of the sports world.

my rating : 3 of 5

Fast Twitch : Grape

Fast Twitch : Grape

This Fast Twitch, “from the makers of Gatorade”, tastes like the Grape Robitussin or Dimetapp I was given as a child. It smells like Grape Jolly Ranchers. Grape is one of my favorite flavors/scents, so, nostalgia aside, I like it.

The fact that it also provides enough caffeine and electrolytes “to help athletes ignite power and athletic performance”, with no stinging carbonation to damper the experience, ranks it among the better energy drinks.

my rating : 4 of 5

Pringles : Original

Pringles : Original

These Original Pringles, promoted as “bursting with flavor”, are certainly good enough to eat; the addition of salt makes for a delightful contrast when eaten with a sweet drink; but they’re not as good as Lay’s Stax. That’s partly due to their comparatively flimsy bite.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Bet She Can’t ( song ) … Total

The prosaic title of this song, which I would’ve made The Goods, refers to a guy’s girlfriend’s vaginal skills when it comes to sexual intercourse. Total; Kima Keisha And Pam; play the role of the (booty) call girl who brags she can do it better because she puts her “back into it”.

It’s a sexy song indeed; the music is sleekly produced; but it would be better without Missy and Diddy’s ad-libs. The biggest turnoff is when the latter breaks the fourth wall and promotes the former by name, which takes you; the aforementioned beau; right out of the fantasy.

my rating : 4 of 5

1998

Doritos : Cool Ranch

Doritos : Cool Ranch

If the Ranch bit has to do with dressing, it’s a case of false advertising because the flavor is basically undetectable. Still these Doritos taste damn good, about as good as the Nacho Cheese version, especially when you happen to grab one coated with extra seasoning.

my rating : 4 of 5

Rockstar Energy Drink : Sugar Free

Rockstar Energy Drink : Sugar Free

This Rockstar Energy Drink tastes like Smarties; the candy. That’s despite the fact that it’s Sugar Free. If that bit has to do with health, the sucralose added in its place probably isn’t much better. There are also 160 milligrams of caffeine, which, according to the can, “provides feelings of increased alertness and reduced tiredness for up to 5 hours.”

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Immortal ( album ) … JT Money

audio review : Immortal ( album ) ... JT Money

JT Money is Immortal in the sense of being a permanent part of “hip-hop history”, but he’s more of a footnote than he seems to realize. He’s known mostly from Poison Clan; a duo; Debonaire actually drops a surprise verse here; turned group known mostly as a protégé of Uncle Luke. Now, like too many OGs in the game, he’s more concerned with making Mount Rushmore lists than making good songs.

my rating : 2 of 5

2024

G Fuel Energy Drink : Wumpa Fruit

G Fuel Energy Drink : Wumpa Fruit

This “limited edition” G Fuel Energy Drink is based on Crash Bandicoot 4. It’s About Time goes the subtitle, but it’s mostly about promotion as the drink was apparently created for the sole purpose of advertising the game. The flavor is Wumpa Fruit, appropriately enough, which is actually a fun apple mango blend.

my rating : 3 of 5