![Espresso Monster : Vanilla Cream [ Triple Shot ]](https://www.marcellee.com/posts/96622.jpg)
“Italians are famous for artistic masterpieces, fast cars, fashion, beautiful women and the perfect espresso,” the can reads, “The latest trend is the Macchiato, a blend of strong espresso and milk.”
The milk is nice and smooth. It’s the strength of the Triple Shot of coffee, which, along with the milk, is apparently imported from Europe, that’s a tad overwhelming, at least during the aftertaste.
my rating : 3 of 5
This is a case of two wrestlers canceling each other out in the sense that it seems neither wants to go for a takedown. The result is a virtual kickboxing match full of action. It’s a back and forth brawl, very close, until the final round when Usman puts Covington down.
my rating : 4 of 5
2019
The most interesting character in this story, about a lung cancer patient who makes, as the phrase goes, a deal with The Devil, is also the most ridiculous. That character’s name is George Elvid and he’s a “pudgy” salesman who at least serves as a metaphor for the aforementioned entity.
He offers Dave Streeter, who’s been told he has a few months to live, an Extension in the form of a longer life in exchange for money and a redistribution of his (Streeter’s) bad luck or “negative weight”. It’s a silly premise with a mundane plot and odd references to real-life celebrity news bits.
my rating : 2 of 5
2010
The prelude; Big Bird from Sesame Street announcing he’s found an old book of poetry in his nest; is genius. The song, which, at just over two minutes with no chorus, is barely that, doesn’t disappoint from there.
It’s a soliloquy from a young dad who turns to illegal drug sales in order to make money. It’s also a diss to George Bush and other white political leaders, whom a lot of black people blame for their money problems.
my rating : 4 of 5
1991
This is a good story during its early stages as a married couple; Mary and Clark; drive down a back road in the “boonies” of Oregon. The two being lost, surrounded by wilderness, as the sun heads west conjure a genuine sense of suspense.
The road goes awry from there. Where they end up and what (who) they see when they get there is a major letdown in comparison to what came before. An engaging tale based in reality is spirited away to a silly dream-like fantasy world.
my rating : 2 of 5
1992
This is Stephen King’s take on the old “raining cats and dogs” idiom. That he takes it literally, swapping mammals for amphibians, makes the story, which traps a young couple in a small town vacation house, more comedy than horror.
Once the downpour begins, things get interesting. It’s preposterous all the way; this is a story about killer toads Raining from the sky; but fun and somewhat captivating, at least during the second half where most of the action occurs.
my rating : 3 of 5
1989
This story, about a woman experiencing déjà vu on a second honeymoon trip to Captiva Island, is one of Stephen King’s worst. It’s a lot of biographical rambling, mostly about the woman’s mundane marriage, without any narrative payoff.
my rating : 1 of 5
1998
For the first twenty minutes, When A Stranger Calls a babysitter named Jill and threatens to cover himself in her blood, it seems this is going to be a decent horror flick. What it suddenly turns into, after a seven-year time leap, is a half-ass crime thriller involving a different woman. Jill eventually comes back into the picture as an adult with kids of her own, but by then it’s way too late to save this mess of a movie.
my rating : 1 of 5
1979
When I first heard Rob Zombie would bring back The Devil’s Rejects after they went out like Thelma And Louise nearly a decade and a half ago, I figured it would be some sort of prequel. This isn’t. It’s a bona fide sequel featuring the original members with one disappointing caveat.
While all 3 Rejects are here, Captain Spaulding, the most enthralling, is limited to a cameo role. That’s reportedly the result of real-life health problems. The actor, Sid Haig, is 80 years old. He’s replaced by a less interesting brother of Otis, who helps him (Otis) escape from prison.
That’s one of many blatant implausibilities happening in this movie, including the fact that the Rejects are still alive in the first place, though it’s Baby’s escape that’s most absurd. Once the new trio is set, the plot starts to get good, but by then it’s almost at the halfway point.
The best parts are still the kills; what I like most about Rob Zombie movies is the amoral depiction of brutal violence; but 3 seems incomplete without Cutter. A phone call in Mexico gives the peak dramatic suspense, but this is the worst movie in the Firefly trilogy.
my rating : 3 of 5
2019
The first scene, a black and white introduction to a Jokeresque clown; but don’t call him that; named Doom Head, is intense. 31, named after the game of death five unlucky protagonists find themselves in, mostly falters from there. It’s Rob Zombie’s version of Saw; some people are actually killed with chainsaws; perhaps a sign the filmmaker is running out of ideas.
my rating : 3 of 5
2016
It’s the supernatural theme, which has to do with witches and Satan, that holds this otherwise interesting movie down. The best parts are when humans engage in normal conversations, albeit often about said abnormal topics. When creatures appear and the horror begins, mostly in the form of abstract cutaways revolving around a radio DJ named Heidi, the plot grinds to a bloody halt.
my rating : 3 of 5
2012
This movie is less about the House than its occupants; a family of sadistic killers that make The Addams look normal. The Corpses are the mummified remains of their victims, most of whom were tortured to death.
An unlucky four pay an inadvertent visit the night before Halloween after picking up a hitchhiker girl. The car suddenly breaks down, so the girl says she lives within walking distance and her brother has a tow truck.
There isn’t really much of a plot beyond that and there doesn’t need to be. The charm of this horror flick, which is directed, occasionally like a song video, by White Zombie frontman Rob Zombie, is its zany gory style.
my rating : 4 of 5
2003
video review : The Devil’s Rejects
video review : 3 From Hell